Lessons - Why the Most Successful Leaders Still Can’t Connect With People | Talia Fox - Harvard Fellow & CEO of KUSI Global

{"text":" In this lessons episode, explore how conscious connection transforms leadership and performance under pressure, discover practical ways to reset after stressful moments, understand how leading with values builds stronger teams and uncover a simple framework for creating a culture rooted in trust, empathy, and lasting success. You always go into a day with the best intentions and you feel clear and then, you know, you're going into meetings and then stressful emails and stressful news and then all of a sudden, it's very hard to have great meetings, great outcomes, great conversations. The words don't come as easily as quickly as they did when you were, you know, happy and there was no stress in your life. So all of a sudden your whole performance starts to degrade and I don't think people really have a strategy when they're in this fighter flight mode in work to really just bring themselves back to baseline so that yeah, there was some stressful event, got yelled at, client boss, whatever missed a deadline, whatever it is, but that can't jeopardize the next six hours of your day. And it definitely shouldn't jeopardize your home life too with your family, your spouse, kids, friends, whatever it is. But I think that because I don't think this is just a pure post COVID thing like the level of stress that we have right now compounded with the fact that we're always distracted in social media and whatnot keeps us from having any meaningful moment to really reset because even if you have a stressful morning at work and then you go on lunch, on lunch, you're not just with yourself, you're not just with peers, you're on your phone going through Twitter, whatever anger, hate, politics, whatever it is that's happening on social media. So like your your brain is always like an overdrive non-stop. Yes, and I want to key in on what it means to come back to basics as it relates to the model. So the V is about value. So coming back to basics is aligning with your values. Really quick story. I was doing a keynote and as I was going up to the keynote, someone in the audience handed me their trash to throw away. I also had an experience, same situation, high level place where someone started telling me all the issues in the bathroom. I was dressed all up in a suit. I was like, you know, and we can infer. Yeah, absolutely. They thought that I was the cleaning person. It was it was bad. But here's what this love system does. It was awful for me, but I didn't go into revenge. How dare you could do that. I actually went on stage and I started a talk with a what it looks like to what forgiveness looks like and what uplifting people. And this person, of course, as I looked into the audience, they were a very high level person sitting in the front. They were turning completely bad. And I could tell that they were embarrassed. But I talked about like the impact that we have on each other and our choices. And what was interesting about is this person ended up being a spearhead for all of these like diversity efforts. And I had a conversation with this person after and and it was a very moving conversation. And there was an apology that that's given to me. But I think a lot of people, so even when I tell the story, it's enraging. And with the love system, I observe my values are when someone's in my presence. I hope that they feel lifted or the same, but not diminishing anyway. I actually got that from Abraham Hicks, Esther Hicks, Esther and Jerry Hicks for those of you that that might be familiar with that work. But I love the idea of of of treating people well. So here's the clincher. Oh, here's the thing. It's do I get to lay that value down if I feel justified with someone else's poor behavior? So do I do I get to can I leave someone not diminishing anyway, even if they're diminishing me? That's what's hard, right? So the love system allows you to stop and make choices that are constantly in line with your values because other people don't have the power to change who I am. So my authenticity is my values. And so your rudeness doesn't get to determine how I'm going to live my day and my values of goodness to you. And when you deal with because I can only imagine if anything even anything that happened to me going up on stage, even if it wasn't as serious as that, that would have thrown off an entire speech. I wouldn't have been able to continue or I would have been flustered the whole speech right on stage. So when you implement the system, you find that in that moment, you were able to like sort of collect yourself, use this system to again, bring yourself back to where you need to be to deliver an incredible keynote. And that's really this is a system that you rely on for something like that. Yeah, so I have the love because I'm just trying to think of you in that moment. Like I'm trying to like, like go through how I would be thinking. And I know that the it would not have been good. Yes, I almost was in tears to tell you that it was that big of a deal. But let me tell you how the love system works. So part of the strategy is I call it the shift. So so kind of I have I'm trained to monitor what's happening in my mind. And so I was able to quickly go from I can't believe this happened. What the heck? You know, like anger and I was too, it's okay. This is an opportunity for you to to be of service. You're okay. You're you don't need to have ego right now. You can connect with this audience. These are just people. We're all on the on a journey of improvement and trying to get better. I even thought about my own mistakes. I've made in the past in life. And so I literally start to have a different voice inner critic inner voice in my head, which puts me in the mind frame to do a better job. And then I got up on the stage. I observed myself. I said, you know, can I stand tall? Can I look out in the audience? And my value is that I just want to be the best that I can for the moment with whatever I have. So that kind of gets the jitters down. And then I did it and engaged. And it was probably one of my best talks. That's amazing. I'm very curious. I haven't looked at any of these questions yet. It always been chatting, which has been amazing. But I want to actually bring up some stuff that I purposefully wrote down because I think it would really help frame it for the audience as well. I'm very curious. In your career, where did this, where did this understanding of conscious connection come from? How did this, like this obviously this framework, it makes tons of sense now. But looking back, what were those key things? Sort of were light bulb moments for you in your career that led you to have the clarity of thought to be able to put this system together. So you know those moments in business where you have to really figure out your value proposition. So you have a value proposition. But then as things go on, you're like, wait, there's another value proposition. You know, that's it's a normal journey. So for me, you know, the key question was, how do you duplicate yourself? So what have you learned and what do you do? And so I started to think what makes these experiences with clients so successful? And it was all about the connection. That's the thing that's very difficult to duplicate. I could hire a bunch of people. I could do whatever, but they were kind of even their emails. Good afternoon, sir. You know, everybody is so formalized. And I even watch people on meetings with me. And it's great. You want to be professional, but there is that missing. The question is like, what's the magic in a company or what's the? And so I said, it's the connection. So I actually started observing and asking questions. So that was my listening. I just would ask questions, solve my clients to, you know, I interviewed a lot of very wealthy, high level people. And I started to actually just keep a journal on like, what are those things that matter? And so as I read, I told you all the books that I read, I started finding this common thread. You know, like Nelson Mandela, you read this, I read a long walk to freedom and it's, you know, he's done these amazing things. But if you delve into that book, he will, it's so simple. He's like, what I sort of started to do was to listen to the other people on the team, you know, and he even has stories about how he used to observe people in African, what they would do in their meetings and that how they would listen and interact with each other. And so all throughout the book, like his success is contingent upon the way that he was able to connect to what was important, the way he was able to listen to people, the way that he was able to observe the needs of people, and then how he engaged with the world. Right. So if you take any leader, there's something in those four things that is a common theme across everything, emotional intelligence, systems thinking, critical thinking, it requires you to do four basic things. So in my career, it's been, you know, really keying into what I like to look at. What are those little things that make the biggest difference? And so that is how we came to the power of conscious connection. Any, any founder suffers from what you were suffering from, but many of them don't know how to actually replicate themselves and they don't have the ability to maybe tie all those different threads together and find a way to replicate them. So they end up hiring someone and hopefully they find a CEO or somebody that can sort of manage for them. If you were going to give advice to a founder on how to replicate their own style, where would you tell them to start? So I would start with love, right? Which would be begin to listen to the feedback that they're getting. Yeah. I would say observe themselves. What are the very specific decisions that they make? And they could probably make the way that they interact and communicate with people if they've been successful with that into a model. Yeah. Right that people can use. So at Kusai, we actually call our interaction with clients a warm, competent hug, not a real hug, but it's a warm, open hug. So everybody has a system as to what's important in our values. And so they actually apply that and they get measured. We have something, which I'm going to let this cat at the back. I'll probably write my second book on this, but we have something called the GAD factor, GAD. My mom came up with this, but it's great. So GAD, it's the art of giving a damn, right? Oh that's good. So you get a GAD score, right? You'll get a GAD score, Kusai. So it's like, how much do you really care? And so that's big in our company and what we do. So I think with founders begin to figure out what's really important to you. What are the pieces of the system of your organization that make the biggest difference? Observe how you implement those and observe how other people are receiving that implementation. Like are people aligned with the values? Or are you just kind of at a Zoom meeting, just giving reports, right? And then how are you engaging with your team? Are you just engaging on telling people what the numbers are and where you want to go? Or are you doing something that's engaging them in a different kind of connection or experience with the company? So it starts with just a little bit of strategizing and pausing. And from there, create a model, just like you created your product, create a product for how you're going to run your culture and your system. Thanks for tuning in. If you found this valuable, don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode. And if you want to dive deeper into this conversation, check out the links in the description to watch the full episode. See you in the next one.","word_count":2332,"segments":[{"start":0,"end":4.88,"text":" In this lessons episode, explore how conscious connection transforms leadership and performance under pressure,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18171296296296297,"compression_ratio":1.6370967741935485,"no_speech_prob":0.0328369140625,"words":[]},{"start":4.88,"end":9.36,"text":" discover practical ways to reset after stressful moments, understand how leading with values","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18171296296296297,"compression_ratio":1.6370967741935485,"no_speech_prob":0.0328369140625,"words":[]},{"start":9.36,"end":13.92,"text":" builds stronger teams and uncover a simple framework for creating a culture rooted in trust,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18171296296296297,"compression_ratio":1.6370967741935485,"no_speech_prob":0.0328369140625,"words":[]},{"start":13.92,"end":15.6,"text":" empathy, and lasting success.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18171296296296297,"compression_ratio":1.6370967741935485,"no_speech_prob":0.0328369140625,"words":[]},{"start":22.8,"end":26.64,"text":" You always go into a day with the best intentions and you feel clear and then,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.18171296296296297,"compression_ratio":1.6370967741935485,"no_speech_prob":0.0328369140625,"words":[]},{"start":26.64,"end":30.72,"text":" you know, you're going into meetings and then stressful emails and stressful news and then all","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13060011061946902,"compression_ratio":1.7969924812030076,"no_speech_prob":0.0372314453125,"words":[]},{"start":30.72,"end":35.68,"text":" of a sudden, it's very hard to have great meetings, great outcomes, great conversations. The","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13060011061946902,"compression_ratio":1.7969924812030076,"no_speech_prob":0.0372314453125,"words":[]},{"start":35.68,"end":41.28,"text":" words don't come as easily as quickly as they did when you were, you know, happy and there was no","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13060011061946902,"compression_ratio":1.7969924812030076,"no_speech_prob":0.0372314453125,"words":[]},{"start":41.28,"end":45.68,"text":" stress in your life. So all of a sudden your whole performance starts to degrade and I don't think","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13060011061946902,"compression_ratio":1.7969924812030076,"no_speech_prob":0.0372314453125,"words":[]},{"start":45.68,"end":52.64,"text":" people really have a strategy when they're in this fighter flight mode in work to really just","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13060011061946902,"compression_ratio":1.7969924812030076,"no_speech_prob":0.0372314453125,"words":[]},{"start":52.64,"end":58.8,"text":" bring themselves back to baseline so that yeah, there was some stressful event, got yelled at,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13852486559139784,"compression_ratio":1.6858407079646018,"no_speech_prob":0.006900787353515625,"words":[]},{"start":59.36,"end":66,"text":" client boss, whatever missed a deadline, whatever it is, but that can't jeopardize the next six","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13852486559139784,"compression_ratio":1.6858407079646018,"no_speech_prob":0.006900787353515625,"words":[]},{"start":66,"end":70.48,"text":" hours of your day. And it definitely shouldn't jeopardize your home life too with your family,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13852486559139784,"compression_ratio":1.6858407079646018,"no_speech_prob":0.006900787353515625,"words":[]},{"start":70.48,"end":77.6,"text":" your spouse, kids, friends, whatever it is. But I think that because I don't think this is just","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.13852486559139784,"compression_ratio":1.6858407079646018,"no_speech_prob":0.006900787353515625,"words":[]},{"start":77.60000000000001,"end":83.60000000000001,"text":" a pure post COVID thing like the level of stress that we have right now compounded with the fact","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11189236111111112,"compression_ratio":1.7123893805309736,"no_speech_prob":0.012237548828125,"words":[]},{"start":83.60000000000001,"end":90.16000000000001,"text":" that we're always distracted in social media and whatnot keeps us from having any meaningful","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11189236111111112,"compression_ratio":1.7123893805309736,"no_speech_prob":0.012237548828125,"words":[]},{"start":90.16000000000001,"end":96.96000000000001,"text":" moment to really reset because even if you have a stressful morning at work and then you go on lunch,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11189236111111112,"compression_ratio":1.7123893805309736,"no_speech_prob":0.012237548828125,"words":[]},{"start":96.96000000000001,"end":102.72000000000001,"text":" on lunch, you're not just with yourself, you're not just with peers, you're on your phone going","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11189236111111112,"compression_ratio":1.7123893805309736,"no_speech_prob":0.012237548828125,"words":[]},{"start":102.88,"end":108.56,"text":" through Twitter, whatever anger, hate, politics, whatever it is that's happening on social media.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11979166666666667,"compression_ratio":1.7096774193548387,"no_speech_prob":0.007457733154296875,"words":[]},{"start":108.56,"end":112.56,"text":" So like your your brain is always like an overdrive non-stop.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11979166666666667,"compression_ratio":1.7096774193548387,"no_speech_prob":0.007457733154296875,"words":[]},{"start":113.68,"end":118.56,"text":" Yes, and I want to key in on what it means to come back to basics as it relates to the model.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11979166666666667,"compression_ratio":1.7096774193548387,"no_speech_prob":0.007457733154296875,"words":[]},{"start":118.56,"end":123.12,"text":" So the V is about value. So coming back to basics is aligning with your values.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11979166666666667,"compression_ratio":1.7096774193548387,"no_speech_prob":0.007457733154296875,"words":[]},{"start":124,"end":129.76,"text":" Really quick story. I was doing a keynote and as I was going up to the keynote, someone in","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11979166666666667,"compression_ratio":1.7096774193548387,"no_speech_prob":0.007457733154296875,"words":[]},{"start":129.76,"end":137.67999999999998,"text":" the audience handed me their trash to throw away. I also had an experience, same situation,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17024739583333334,"compression_ratio":1.5924369747899159,"no_speech_prob":0.0027141571044921875,"words":[]},{"start":138.23999999999998,"end":141.67999999999998,"text":" high level place where someone started telling me all the issues in the bathroom. I was dressed","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17024739583333334,"compression_ratio":1.5924369747899159,"no_speech_prob":0.0027141571044921875,"words":[]},{"start":141.67999999999998,"end":147.68,"text":" all up in a suit. I was like, you know, and we can infer. Yeah, absolutely. They thought that I","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17024739583333334,"compression_ratio":1.5924369747899159,"no_speech_prob":0.0027141571044921875,"words":[]},{"start":147.68,"end":157.35999999999999,"text":" was the cleaning person. It was it was bad. But here's what this love system does. It was awful","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.17024739583333334,"compression_ratio":1.5924369747899159,"no_speech_prob":0.0027141571044921875,"words":[]},{"start":157.36,"end":163.76000000000002,"text":" for me, but I didn't go into revenge. How dare you could do that. I actually went on stage and I","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10017213983050847,"compression_ratio":1.7031802120141342,"no_speech_prob":0.010162353515625,"words":[]},{"start":163.76000000000002,"end":171.68,"text":" started a talk with a what it looks like to what forgiveness looks like and what uplifting people.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10017213983050847,"compression_ratio":1.7031802120141342,"no_speech_prob":0.010162353515625,"words":[]},{"start":171.68,"end":175.04000000000002,"text":" And this person, of course, as I looked into the audience, they were a very high level person","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10017213983050847,"compression_ratio":1.7031802120141342,"no_speech_prob":0.010162353515625,"words":[]},{"start":175.04000000000002,"end":178.96,"text":" sitting in the front. They were turning completely bad. And I could tell that they were embarrassed.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10017213983050847,"compression_ratio":1.7031802120141342,"no_speech_prob":0.010162353515625,"words":[]},{"start":180.32000000000002,"end":186.08,"text":" But I talked about like the impact that we have on each other and our choices. And what was","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10017213983050847,"compression_ratio":1.7031802120141342,"no_speech_prob":0.010162353515625,"words":[]},{"start":186.08,"end":191.84,"text":" interesting about is this person ended up being a spearhead for all of these like diversity efforts.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1259765625,"compression_ratio":1.6912280701754385,"no_speech_prob":0.0013875961303710938,"words":[]},{"start":191.84,"end":198.24,"text":" And I had a conversation with this person after and and it was a very moving conversation. And","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1259765625,"compression_ratio":1.6912280701754385,"no_speech_prob":0.0013875961303710938,"words":[]},{"start":198.24,"end":203.36,"text":" there was an apology that that's given to me. But I think a lot of people, so even when I tell","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1259765625,"compression_ratio":1.6912280701754385,"no_speech_prob":0.0013875961303710938,"words":[]},{"start":203.36,"end":210.8,"text":" the story, it's enraging. And with the love system, I observe my values are when someone's in my","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1259765625,"compression_ratio":1.6912280701754385,"no_speech_prob":0.0013875961303710938,"words":[]},{"start":210.8,"end":215.60000000000002,"text":" presence. I hope that they feel lifted or the same, but not diminishing anyway. I actually got","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1259765625,"compression_ratio":1.6912280701754385,"no_speech_prob":0.0013875961303710938,"words":[]},{"start":215.6,"end":219.84,"text":" that from Abraham Hicks, Esther Hicks, Esther and Jerry Hicks for those of you that that might be","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15795173267326731,"compression_ratio":1.609442060085837,"no_speech_prob":0.0011157989501953125,"words":[]},{"start":219.84,"end":226,"text":" familiar with that work. But I love the idea of of of treating people well. So here's the","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15795173267326731,"compression_ratio":1.609442060085837,"no_speech_prob":0.0011157989501953125,"words":[]},{"start":226,"end":234.79999999999998,"text":" clincher. Oh, here's the thing. It's do I get to lay that value down if I feel justified with","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15795173267326731,"compression_ratio":1.609442060085837,"no_speech_prob":0.0011157989501953125,"words":[]},{"start":234.79999999999998,"end":240.07999999999998,"text":" someone else's poor behavior? So do I do I get to can I leave someone not diminishing anyway,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.15795173267326731,"compression_ratio":1.609442060085837,"no_speech_prob":0.0011157989501953125,"words":[]},{"start":240.08,"end":245.92000000000002,"text":" even if they're diminishing me? That's what's hard, right? So the love system allows you to stop","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.06797680412371133,"compression_ratio":1.5909090909090908,"no_speech_prob":0.00482940673828125,"words":[]},{"start":245.92000000000002,"end":250.16000000000003,"text":" and make choices that are constantly in line with your values because other people don't have the","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.06797680412371133,"compression_ratio":1.5909090909090908,"no_speech_prob":0.00482940673828125,"words":[]},{"start":250.16000000000003,"end":257.68,"text":" power to change who I am. So my authenticity is my values. And so your rudeness doesn't get to","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.06797680412371133,"compression_ratio":1.5909090909090908,"no_speech_prob":0.00482940673828125,"words":[]},{"start":257.68,"end":263.84000000000003,"text":" determine how I'm going to live my day and my values of goodness to you. And when you deal with","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.06797680412371133,"compression_ratio":1.5909090909090908,"no_speech_prob":0.00482940673828125,"words":[]},{"start":264.16,"end":273.12,"text":" because I can only imagine if anything even anything that happened to me going up on stage,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10450268817204302,"compression_ratio":1.7321428571428572,"no_speech_prob":0.007572174072265625,"words":[]},{"start":273.12,"end":279.04,"text":" even if it wasn't as serious as that, that would have thrown off an entire speech. I wouldn't have","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10450268817204302,"compression_ratio":1.7321428571428572,"no_speech_prob":0.007572174072265625,"words":[]},{"start":279.04,"end":285.12,"text":" been able to continue or I would have been flustered the whole speech right on stage. So when you","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10450268817204302,"compression_ratio":1.7321428571428572,"no_speech_prob":0.007572174072265625,"words":[]},{"start":285.12,"end":291.84000000000003,"text":" implement the system, you find that in that moment, you were able to like sort of collect yourself,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10450268817204302,"compression_ratio":1.7321428571428572,"no_speech_prob":0.007572174072265625,"words":[]},{"start":292.8,"end":297.52000000000004,"text":" use this system to again, bring yourself back to where you need to be to deliver an incredible","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.140625,"compression_ratio":1.7509293680297398,"no_speech_prob":0.01383209228515625,"words":[]},{"start":297.52000000000004,"end":301.68,"text":" keynote. And that's really this is a system that you rely on for something like that.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.140625,"compression_ratio":1.7509293680297398,"no_speech_prob":0.01383209228515625,"words":[]},{"start":301.68,"end":305.04,"text":" Yeah, so I have the love because I'm just trying to think of you in that moment. Like I'm trying","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.140625,"compression_ratio":1.7509293680297398,"no_speech_prob":0.01383209228515625,"words":[]},{"start":305.04,"end":311.12,"text":" to like, like go through how I would be thinking. And I know that the it would not have been good.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.140625,"compression_ratio":1.7509293680297398,"no_speech_prob":0.01383209228515625,"words":[]},{"start":311.12,"end":315.6,"text":" Yes, I almost was in tears to tell you that it was that big of a deal. But let me tell you how","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.140625,"compression_ratio":1.7509293680297398,"no_speech_prob":0.01383209228515625,"words":[]},{"start":315.6,"end":322.32000000000005,"text":" the love system works. So part of the strategy is I call it the shift. So so kind of I have I'm","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1275297619047619,"compression_ratio":1.5555555555555556,"no_speech_prob":0.0014543533325195312,"words":[]},{"start":322.32000000000005,"end":328.32000000000005,"text":" trained to monitor what's happening in my mind. And so I was able to quickly go from","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1275297619047619,"compression_ratio":1.5555555555555556,"no_speech_prob":0.0014543533325195312,"words":[]},{"start":329.68,"end":334.72,"text":" I can't believe this happened. What the heck? You know, like anger and I was too, it's okay. This","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1275297619047619,"compression_ratio":1.5555555555555556,"no_speech_prob":0.0014543533325195312,"words":[]},{"start":334.72,"end":341.28000000000003,"text":" is an opportunity for you to to be of service. You're okay. You're you don't need to have ego right","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1275297619047619,"compression_ratio":1.5555555555555556,"no_speech_prob":0.0014543533325195312,"words":[]},{"start":341.28000000000003,"end":346.72,"text":" now. You can connect with this audience. These are just people. We're all on the on a journey of","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.09024360236220473,"compression_ratio":1.6317567567567568,"no_speech_prob":0.00382232666015625,"words":[]},{"start":346.72,"end":350.88000000000005,"text":" improvement and trying to get better. I even thought about my own mistakes. I've made in the past","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.09024360236220473,"compression_ratio":1.6317567567567568,"no_speech_prob":0.00382232666015625,"words":[]},{"start":350.88000000000005,"end":356.88000000000005,"text":" in life. And so I literally start to have a different voice inner critic inner voice in my head,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.09024360236220473,"compression_ratio":1.6317567567567568,"no_speech_prob":0.00382232666015625,"words":[]},{"start":356.88000000000005,"end":361.44000000000005,"text":" which puts me in the mind frame to do a better job. And then I got up on the stage. I observed","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.09024360236220473,"compression_ratio":1.6317567567567568,"no_speech_prob":0.00382232666015625,"words":[]},{"start":361.44000000000005,"end":367.36,"text":" myself. I said, you know, can I stand tall? Can I look out in the audience? And my value is that","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.09024360236220473,"compression_ratio":1.6317567567567568,"no_speech_prob":0.00382232666015625,"words":[]},{"start":367.36,"end":371.68,"text":" I just want to be the best that I can for the moment with whatever I have. So that kind of gets","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.104625,"compression_ratio":1.6979166666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00884246826171875,"words":[]},{"start":371.68,"end":376.40000000000003,"text":" the jitters down. And then I did it and engaged. And it was probably one of my best talks. That's","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.104625,"compression_ratio":1.6979166666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00884246826171875,"words":[]},{"start":376.40000000000003,"end":382.96000000000004,"text":" amazing. I'm very curious. I haven't looked at any of these questions yet. It always been chatting,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.104625,"compression_ratio":1.6979166666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00884246826171875,"words":[]},{"start":382.96000000000004,"end":387.68,"text":" which has been amazing. But I want to actually bring up some stuff that I purposefully wrote down","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.104625,"compression_ratio":1.6979166666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00884246826171875,"words":[]},{"start":387.68,"end":393.12,"text":" because I think it would really help frame it for the audience as well. I'm very curious. In your","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.104625,"compression_ratio":1.6979166666666667,"no_speech_prob":0.00884246826171875,"words":[]},{"start":393.12,"end":399.68,"text":" career, where did this, where did this understanding of conscious connection come from? How did this,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1493969298245614,"compression_ratio":1.8028673835125448,"no_speech_prob":0.004608154296875,"words":[]},{"start":399.68,"end":404.56,"text":" like this obviously this framework, it makes tons of sense now. But looking back, what were those","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1493969298245614,"compression_ratio":1.8028673835125448,"no_speech_prob":0.004608154296875,"words":[]},{"start":404.56,"end":410.64,"text":" key things? Sort of were light bulb moments for you in your career that led you to have the clarity","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1493969298245614,"compression_ratio":1.8028673835125448,"no_speech_prob":0.004608154296875,"words":[]},{"start":410.64,"end":416.08,"text":" of thought to be able to put this system together. So you know those moments in business where you have","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1493969298245614,"compression_ratio":1.8028673835125448,"no_speech_prob":0.004608154296875,"words":[]},{"start":416.08,"end":420.56,"text":" to really figure out your value proposition. So you have a value proposition. But then as things go","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1493969298245614,"compression_ratio":1.8028673835125448,"no_speech_prob":0.004608154296875,"words":[]},{"start":420.56,"end":424.64,"text":" on, you're like, wait, there's another value proposition. You know, that's it's a normal journey.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1219375,"compression_ratio":1.6801346801346801,"no_speech_prob":0.0023593902587890625,"words":[]},{"start":425.44,"end":431.44,"text":" So for me, you know, the key question was, how do you duplicate yourself? So what have you learned","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1219375,"compression_ratio":1.6801346801346801,"no_speech_prob":0.0023593902587890625,"words":[]},{"start":431.44,"end":441.36,"text":" and what do you do? And so I started to think what makes these experiences with clients so successful?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1219375,"compression_ratio":1.6801346801346801,"no_speech_prob":0.0023593902587890625,"words":[]},{"start":442.24,"end":446.24,"text":" And it was all about the connection. That's the thing that's very difficult to duplicate. I could","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1219375,"compression_ratio":1.6801346801346801,"no_speech_prob":0.0023593902587890625,"words":[]},{"start":446.24,"end":450.16,"text":" hire a bunch of people. I could do whatever, but they were kind of even their emails. Good afternoon,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1219375,"compression_ratio":1.6801346801346801,"no_speech_prob":0.0023593902587890625,"words":[]},{"start":450.16,"end":456.96000000000004,"text":" sir. You know, everybody is so formalized. And I even watch people on meetings with me. And","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1449947033898305,"compression_ratio":1.6379928315412187,"no_speech_prob":0.0024700164794921875,"words":[]},{"start":456.96000000000004,"end":461.36,"text":" it's great. You want to be professional, but there is that missing. The question is like, what's","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1449947033898305,"compression_ratio":1.6379928315412187,"no_speech_prob":0.0024700164794921875,"words":[]},{"start":461.36,"end":467.28000000000003,"text":" the magic in a company or what's the? And so I said, it's the connection. So I actually started","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1449947033898305,"compression_ratio":1.6379928315412187,"no_speech_prob":0.0024700164794921875,"words":[]},{"start":467.28000000000003,"end":472.32000000000005,"text":" observing and asking questions. So that was my listening. I just would ask questions,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1449947033898305,"compression_ratio":1.6379928315412187,"no_speech_prob":0.0024700164794921875,"words":[]},{"start":472.32000000000005,"end":478.08000000000004,"text":" solve my clients to, you know, I interviewed a lot of very wealthy, high level people.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.1449947033898305,"compression_ratio":1.6379928315412187,"no_speech_prob":0.0024700164794921875,"words":[]},{"start":478.96,"end":483.28,"text":" And I started to actually just keep a journal on like, what are those things that matter?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.134033203125,"compression_ratio":1.7323420074349443,"no_speech_prob":0.00970458984375,"words":[]},{"start":483.28,"end":488.8,"text":" And so as I read, I told you all the books that I read, I started finding this common thread.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.134033203125,"compression_ratio":1.7323420074349443,"no_speech_prob":0.00970458984375,"words":[]},{"start":489.52,"end":493.52,"text":" You know, like Nelson Mandela, you read this, I read a long walk to freedom and it's,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.134033203125,"compression_ratio":1.7323420074349443,"no_speech_prob":0.00970458984375,"words":[]},{"start":493.52,"end":498.71999999999997,"text":" you know, he's done these amazing things. But if you delve into that book, he will, it's so simple.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.134033203125,"compression_ratio":1.7323420074349443,"no_speech_prob":0.00970458984375,"words":[]},{"start":498.71999999999997,"end":503.28,"text":" He's like, what I sort of started to do was to listen to the other people on the team, you know,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.134033203125,"compression_ratio":1.7323420074349443,"no_speech_prob":0.00970458984375,"words":[]},{"start":503.68,"end":508.56,"text":" and he even has stories about how he used to observe people in African, what they would do in","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10576923076923077,"compression_ratio":1.8270676691729324,"no_speech_prob":0.005298614501953125,"words":[]},{"start":508.56,"end":513.2,"text":" their meetings and that how they would listen and interact with each other. And so all throughout","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10576923076923077,"compression_ratio":1.8270676691729324,"no_speech_prob":0.005298614501953125,"words":[]},{"start":513.2,"end":517.9200000000001,"text":" the book, like his success is contingent upon the way that he was able to connect to what was","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10576923076923077,"compression_ratio":1.8270676691729324,"no_speech_prob":0.005298614501953125,"words":[]},{"start":517.9200000000001,"end":522.64,"text":" important, the way he was able to listen to people, the way that he was able to observe the needs","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10576923076923077,"compression_ratio":1.8270676691729324,"no_speech_prob":0.005298614501953125,"words":[]},{"start":522.64,"end":529.28,"text":" of people, and then how he engaged with the world. Right. So if you take any leader, there's something","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10576923076923077,"compression_ratio":1.8270676691729324,"no_speech_prob":0.005298614501953125,"words":[]},{"start":529.28,"end":535.4399999999999,"text":" in those four things that is a common theme across everything, emotional intelligence, systems","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.08797940340909091,"compression_ratio":1.6431718061674008,"no_speech_prob":0.0014543533325195312,"words":[]},{"start":535.4399999999999,"end":541.8399999999999,"text":" thinking, critical thinking, it requires you to do four basic things. So in my career, it's been,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.08797940340909091,"compression_ratio":1.6431718061674008,"no_speech_prob":0.0014543533325195312,"words":[]},{"start":542.8,"end":548.16,"text":" you know, really keying into what I like to look at. What are those little things that make","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.08797940340909091,"compression_ratio":1.6431718061674008,"no_speech_prob":0.0014543533325195312,"words":[]},{"start":548.16,"end":552.3199999999999,"text":" the biggest difference? And so that is how we came to the power of conscious connection.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.08797940340909091,"compression_ratio":1.6431718061674008,"no_speech_prob":0.0014543533325195312,"words":[]},{"start":552.72,"end":560.5600000000001,"text":" Any, any founder suffers from what you were suffering from, but many of them don't know how to","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10802801724137931,"compression_ratio":1.6536796536796536,"no_speech_prob":0.0092620849609375,"words":[]},{"start":560.5600000000001,"end":566.72,"text":" actually replicate themselves and they don't have the ability to maybe tie all those different","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10802801724137931,"compression_ratio":1.6536796536796536,"no_speech_prob":0.0092620849609375,"words":[]},{"start":567.44,"end":571.9200000000001,"text":" threads together and find a way to replicate them. So they end up hiring someone and hopefully","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10802801724137931,"compression_ratio":1.6536796536796536,"no_speech_prob":0.0092620849609375,"words":[]},{"start":571.9200000000001,"end":576.32,"text":" they find a CEO or somebody that can sort of manage for them. If you were going to give advice to","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10802801724137931,"compression_ratio":1.6536796536796536,"no_speech_prob":0.0092620849609375,"words":[]},{"start":576.32,"end":581.0400000000001,"text":" a founder on how to replicate their own style, where would you tell them to start?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11648995535714286,"compression_ratio":1.6967509025270757,"no_speech_prob":0.0016994476318359375,"words":[]},{"start":583.2,"end":588,"text":" So I would start with love, right? Which would be begin to listen to the feedback that they're","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11648995535714286,"compression_ratio":1.6967509025270757,"no_speech_prob":0.0016994476318359375,"words":[]},{"start":588,"end":592.5600000000001,"text":" getting. Yeah. I would say observe themselves. What are the very specific decisions that they make?","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11648995535714286,"compression_ratio":1.6967509025270757,"no_speech_prob":0.0016994476318359375,"words":[]},{"start":592.5600000000001,"end":596.96,"text":" And they could probably make the way that they interact and communicate with people if they've","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11648995535714286,"compression_ratio":1.6967509025270757,"no_speech_prob":0.0016994476318359375,"words":[]},{"start":596.96,"end":602.24,"text":" been successful with that into a model. Yeah. Right that people can use. So at Kusai, we actually","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.11648995535714286,"compression_ratio":1.6967509025270757,"no_speech_prob":0.0016994476318359375,"words":[]},{"start":602.24,"end":606.8,"text":" call our interaction with clients a warm, competent hug, not a real hug, but it's a warm,","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14884868421052633,"compression_ratio":1.6551724137931034,"no_speech_prob":0.0079345703125,"words":[]},{"start":606.8,"end":612.48,"text":" open hug. So everybody has a system as to what's important in our values. And so they actually apply","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14884868421052633,"compression_ratio":1.6551724137931034,"no_speech_prob":0.0079345703125,"words":[]},{"start":612.48,"end":618.48,"text":" that and they get measured. We have something, which I'm going to let this cat at the back. I'll","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14884868421052633,"compression_ratio":1.6551724137931034,"no_speech_prob":0.0079345703125,"words":[]},{"start":618.48,"end":623.12,"text":" probably write my second book on this, but we have something called the GAD factor, GAD. My mom","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14884868421052633,"compression_ratio":1.6551724137931034,"no_speech_prob":0.0079345703125,"words":[]},{"start":623.12,"end":628.8,"text":" came up with this, but it's great. So GAD, it's the art of giving a damn, right? Oh that's good.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.14884868421052633,"compression_ratio":1.6551724137931034,"no_speech_prob":0.0079345703125,"words":[]},{"start":628.8800000000001,"end":633.44,"text":" So you get a GAD score, right? You'll get a GAD score, Kusai. So it's like, how much do you really","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10723286290322581,"compression_ratio":1.678082191780822,"no_speech_prob":0.0025482177734375,"words":[]},{"start":633.44,"end":642.32,"text":" care? And so that's big in our company and what we do. So I think with founders begin to figure out","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10723286290322581,"compression_ratio":1.678082191780822,"no_speech_prob":0.0025482177734375,"words":[]},{"start":642.32,"end":645.6800000000001,"text":" what's really important to you. What are the pieces of the system of your organization that make","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10723286290322581,"compression_ratio":1.678082191780822,"no_speech_prob":0.0025482177734375,"words":[]},{"start":645.6800000000001,"end":652.4000000000001,"text":" the biggest difference? Observe how you implement those and observe how other people are receiving","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10723286290322581,"compression_ratio":1.678082191780822,"no_speech_prob":0.0025482177734375,"words":[]},{"start":652.4000000000001,"end":657.5200000000001,"text":" that implementation. Like are people aligned with the values? Or are you just kind of at a Zoom","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10723286290322581,"compression_ratio":1.678082191780822,"no_speech_prob":0.0025482177734375,"words":[]},{"start":657.52,"end":663.12,"text":" meeting, just giving reports, right? And then how are you engaging with your team? Are you just","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10822010869565217,"compression_ratio":1.7473309608540926,"no_speech_prob":0.00563812255859375,"words":[]},{"start":663.12,"end":669.04,"text":" engaging on telling people what the numbers are and where you want to go? Or are you doing something","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10822010869565217,"compression_ratio":1.7473309608540926,"no_speech_prob":0.00563812255859375,"words":[]},{"start":669.04,"end":675.4399999999999,"text":" that's engaging them in a different kind of connection or experience with the company? So it starts","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10822010869565217,"compression_ratio":1.7473309608540926,"no_speech_prob":0.00563812255859375,"words":[]},{"start":675.4399999999999,"end":679.84,"text":" with just a little bit of strategizing and pausing. And from there, create a model, just like you","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10822010869565217,"compression_ratio":1.7473309608540926,"no_speech_prob":0.00563812255859375,"words":[]},{"start":679.84,"end":684.8,"text":" created your product, create a product for how you're going to run your culture and your system.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.10822010869565217,"compression_ratio":1.7473309608540926,"no_speech_prob":0.00563812255859375,"words":[]},{"start":684.8000000000001,"end":689.1200000000001,"text":" Thanks for tuning in. If you found this valuable, don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.08905029296875,"compression_ratio":1.5257142857142858,"no_speech_prob":0.1661376953125,"words":[]},{"start":689.1200000000001,"end":693.5200000000001,"text":" never miss an episode. And if you want to dive deeper into this conversation, check out the links","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.08905029296875,"compression_ratio":1.5257142857142858,"no_speech_prob":0.1661376953125,"words":[]},{"start":693.5200000000001,"end":702.0000000000001,"text":" in the description to watch the full episode. See you in the next one.","temperature":0,"avg_logprob":-0.08905029296875,"compression_ratio":1.5257142857142858,"no_speech_prob":0.1661376953125,"words":[]}],"vtt":"WEBVTT\n\n1\n00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:04.879\n In this lessons episode, explore how conscious connection transforms leadership and performance under pressure,\n\n2\n00:00:04.879 --> 00:00:09.359\n discover practical ways to reset after stressful moments, understand how leading with values\n\n3\n00:00:09.359 --> 00:00:13.919\n builds stronger teams and uncover a simple framework for creating a culture rooted in trust,\n\n4\n00:00:13.919 --> 00:00:15.599\n empathy, and lasting success.\n\n5\n00:00:22.800 --> 00:00:26.640\n You always go into a day with the best intentions and you feel clear and then,\n\n6\n00:00:26.640 --> 00:00:30.719\n you know, you're going into meetings and then stressful emails and stressful news and then all\n\n7\n00:00:30.719 --> 00:00:35.679\n of a sudden, it's very hard to have great meetings, great outcomes, great conversations. The\n\n8\n00:00:35.679 --> 00:00:41.280\n words don't come as easily as quickly as they did when you were, you know, happy and there was no\n\n9\n00:00:41.280 --> 00:00:45.679\n stress in your life. So all of a sudden your whole performance starts to degrade and I don't think\n\n10\n00:00:45.679 --> 00:00:52.640\n people really have a strategy when they're in this fighter flight mode in work to really just\n\n11\n00:00:52.640 --> 00:00:58.799\n bring themselves back to baseline so that yeah, there was some stressful event, got yelled at,\n\n12\n00:00:59.359 --> 00:01:06.000\n client boss, whatever missed a deadline, whatever it is, but that can't jeopardize the next six\n\n13\n00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:10.480\n hours of your day. And it definitely shouldn't jeopardize your home life too with your family,\n\n14\n00:01:10.480 --> 00:01:17.599\n your spouse, kids, friends, whatever it is. But I think that because I don't think this is just\n\n15\n00:01:17.600 --> 00:01:23.600\n a pure post COVID thing like the level of stress that we have right now compounded with the fact\n\n16\n00:01:23.600 --> 00:01:30.160\n that we're always distracted in social media and whatnot keeps us from having any meaningful\n\n17\n00:01:30.160 --> 00:01:36.960\n moment to really reset because even if you have a stressful morning at work and then you go on lunch,\n\n18\n00:01:36.960 --> 00:01:42.720\n on lunch, you're not just with yourself, you're not just with peers, you're on your phone going\n\n19\n00:01:42.879 --> 00:01:48.560\n through Twitter, whatever anger, hate, politics, whatever it is that's happening on social media.\n\n20\n00:01:48.560 --> 00:01:52.560\n So like your your brain is always like an overdrive non-stop.\n\n21\n00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:58.560\n Yes, and I want to key in on what it means to come back to basics as it relates to the model.\n\n22\n00:01:58.560 --> 00:02:03.120\n So the V is about value. So coming back to basics is aligning with your values.\n\n23\n00:02:04.000 --> 00:02:09.759\n Really quick story. I was doing a keynote and as I was going up to the keynote, someone in\n\n24\n00:02:09.759 --> 00:02:17.679\n the audience handed me their trash to throw away. I also had an experience, same situation,\n\n25\n00:02:18.239 --> 00:02:21.679\n high level place where someone started telling me all the issues in the bathroom. I was dressed\n\n26\n00:02:21.679 --> 00:02:27.680\n all up in a suit. I was like, you know, and we can infer. Yeah, absolutely. They thought that I\n\n27\n00:02:27.680 --> 00:02:37.359\n was the cleaning person. It was it was bad. But here's what this love system does. It was awful\n\n28\n00:02:37.360 --> 00:02:43.760\n for me, but I didn't go into revenge. How dare you could do that. I actually went on stage and I\n\n29\n00:02:43.760 --> 00:02:51.680\n started a talk with a what it looks like to what forgiveness looks like and what uplifting people.\n\n30\n00:02:51.680 --> 00:02:55.040\n And this person, of course, as I looked into the audience, they were a very high level person\n\n31\n00:02:55.040 --> 00:02:58.960\n sitting in the front. They were turning completely bad. And I could tell that they were embarrassed.\n\n32\n00:03:00.320 --> 00:03:06.080\n But I talked about like the impact that we have on each other and our choices. And what was\n\n33\n00:03:06.080 --> 00:03:11.840\n interesting about is this person ended up being a spearhead for all of these like diversity efforts.\n\n34\n00:03:11.840 --> 00:03:18.240\n And I had a conversation with this person after and and it was a very moving conversation. And\n\n35\n00:03:18.240 --> 00:03:23.360\n there was an apology that that's given to me. But I think a lot of people, so even when I tell\n\n36\n00:03:23.360 --> 00:03:30.800\n the story, it's enraging. And with the love system, I observe my values are when someone's in my\n\n37\n00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:35.600\n presence. I hope that they feel lifted or the same, but not diminishing anyway. I actually got\n\n38\n00:03:35.599 --> 00:03:39.840\n that from Abraham Hicks, Esther Hicks, Esther and Jerry Hicks for those of you that that might be\n\n39\n00:03:39.840 --> 00:03:46.000\n familiar with that work. But I love the idea of of of treating people well. So here's the\n\n40\n00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:54.799\n clincher. Oh, here's the thing. It's do I get to lay that value down if I feel justified with\n\n41\n00:03:54.799 --> 00:04:00.079\n someone else's poor behavior? So do I do I get to can I leave someone not diminishing anyway,\n\n42\n00:04:00.080 --> 00:04:05.920\n even if they're diminishing me? That's what's hard, right? So the love system allows you to stop\n\n43\n00:04:05.920 --> 00:04:10.160\n and make choices that are constantly in line with your values because other people don't have the\n\n44\n00:04:10.160 --> 00:04:17.680\n power to change who I am. So my authenticity is my values. And so your rudeness doesn't get to\n\n45\n00:04:17.680 --> 00:04:23.840\n determine how I'm going to live my day and my values of goodness to you. And when you deal with\n\n46\n00:04:24.160 --> 00:04:33.120\n because I can only imagine if anything even anything that happened to me going up on stage,\n\n47\n00:04:33.120 --> 00:04:39.040\n even if it wasn't as serious as that, that would have thrown off an entire speech. I wouldn't have\n\n48\n00:04:39.040 --> 00:04:45.120\n been able to continue or I would have been flustered the whole speech right on stage. So when you\n\n49\n00:04:45.120 --> 00:04:51.840\n implement the system, you find that in that moment, you were able to like sort of collect yourself,\n\n50\n00:04:52.800 --> 00:04:57.520\n use this system to again, bring yourself back to where you need to be to deliver an incredible\n\n51\n00:04:57.520 --> 00:05:01.680\n keynote. And that's really this is a system that you rely on for something like that.\n\n52\n00:05:01.680 --> 00:05:05.040\n Yeah, so I have the love because I'm just trying to think of you in that moment. Like I'm trying\n\n53\n00:05:05.040 --> 00:05:11.120\n to like, like go through how I would be thinking. And I know that the it would not have been good.\n\n54\n00:05:11.120 --> 00:05:15.600\n Yes, I almost was in tears to tell you that it was that big of a deal. But let me tell you how\n\n55\n00:05:15.600 --> 00:05:22.320\n the love system works. So part of the strategy is I call it the shift. So so kind of I have I'm\n\n56\n00:05:22.320 --> 00:05:28.320\n trained to monitor what's happening in my mind. And so I was able to quickly go from\n\n57\n00:05:29.680 --> 00:05:34.720\n I can't believe this happened. What the heck? You know, like anger and I was too, it's okay. This\n\n58\n00:05:34.720 --> 00:05:41.280\n is an opportunity for you to to be of service. You're okay. You're you don't need to have ego right\n\n59\n00:05:41.280 --> 00:05:46.720\n now. You can connect with this audience. These are just people. We're all on the on a journey of\n\n60\n00:05:46.720 --> 00:05:50.880\n improvement and trying to get better. I even thought about my own mistakes. I've made in the past\n\n61\n00:05:50.880 --> 00:05:56.880\n in life. And so I literally start to have a different voice inner critic inner voice in my head,\n\n62\n00:05:56.880 --> 00:06:01.440\n which puts me in the mind frame to do a better job. And then I got up on the stage. I observed\n\n63\n00:06:01.440 --> 00:06:07.360\n myself. I said, you know, can I stand tall? Can I look out in the audience? And my value is that\n\n64\n00:06:07.360 --> 00:06:11.680\n I just want to be the best that I can for the moment with whatever I have. So that kind of gets\n\n65\n00:06:11.680 --> 00:06:16.400\n the jitters down. And then I did it and engaged. And it was probably one of my best talks. That's\n\n66\n00:06:16.400 --> 00:06:22.960\n amazing. I'm very curious. I haven't looked at any of these questions yet. It always been chatting,\n\n67\n00:06:22.960 --> 00:06:27.680\n which has been amazing. But I want to actually bring up some stuff that I purposefully wrote down\n\n68\n00:06:27.680 --> 00:06:33.120\n because I think it would really help frame it for the audience as well. I'm very curious. In your\n\n69\n00:06:33.120 --> 00:06:39.680\n career, where did this, where did this understanding of conscious connection come from? How did this,\n\n70\n00:06:39.680 --> 00:06:44.560\n like this obviously this framework, it makes tons of sense now. But looking back, what were those\n\n71\n00:06:44.560 --> 00:06:50.639\n key things? Sort of were light bulb moments for you in your career that led you to have the clarity\n\n72\n00:06:50.639 --> 00:06:56.079\n of thought to be able to put this system together. So you know those moments in business where you have\n\n73\n00:06:56.079 --> 00:07:00.560\n to really figure out your value proposition. So you have a value proposition. But then as things go\n\n74\n00:07:00.560 --> 00:07:04.639\n on, you're like, wait, there's another value proposition. You know, that's it's a normal journey.\n\n75\n00:07:05.439 --> 00:07:11.439\n So for me, you know, the key question was, how do you duplicate yourself? So what have you learned\n\n76\n00:07:11.439 --> 00:07:21.360\n and what do you do? And so I started to think what makes these experiences with clients so successful?\n\n77\n00:07:22.240 --> 00:07:26.240\n And it was all about the connection. That's the thing that's very difficult to duplicate. I could\n\n78\n00:07:26.240 --> 00:07:30.160\n hire a bunch of people. I could do whatever, but they were kind of even their emails. Good afternoon,\n\n79\n00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:36.960\n sir. You know, everybody is so formalized. And I even watch people on meetings with me. And\n\n80\n00:07:36.960 --> 00:07:41.360\n it's great. You want to be professional, but there is that missing. The question is like, what's\n\n81\n00:07:41.360 --> 00:07:47.280\n the magic in a company or what's the? And so I said, it's the connection. So I actually started\n\n82\n00:07:47.280 --> 00:07:52.320\n observing and asking questions. So that was my listening. I just would ask questions,\n\n83\n00:07:52.320 --> 00:07:58.080\n solve my clients to, you know, I interviewed a lot of very wealthy, high level people.\n\n84\n00:07:58.959 --> 00:08:03.279\n And I started to actually just keep a journal on like, what are those things that matter?\n\n85\n00:08:03.279 --> 00:08:08.800\n And so as I read, I told you all the books that I read, I started finding this common thread.\n\n86\n00:08:09.519 --> 00:08:13.519\n You know, like Nelson Mandela, you read this, I read a long walk to freedom and it's,\n\n87\n00:08:13.519 --> 00:08:18.719\n you know, he's done these amazing things. But if you delve into that book, he will, it's so simple.\n\n88\n00:08:18.719 --> 00:08:23.279\n He's like, what I sort of started to do was to listen to the other people on the team, you know,\n\n89\n00:08:23.680 --> 00:08:28.560\n and he even has stories about how he used to observe people in African, what they would do in\n\n90\n00:08:28.560 --> 00:08:33.200\n their meetings and that how they would listen and interact with each other. And so all throughout\n\n91\n00:08:33.200 --> 00:08:37.920\n the book, like his success is contingent upon the way that he was able to connect to what was\n\n92\n00:08:37.920 --> 00:08:42.639\n important, the way he was able to listen to people, the way that he was able to observe the needs\n\n93\n00:08:42.639 --> 00:08:49.279\n of people, and then how he engaged with the world. Right. So if you take any leader, there's something\n\n94\n00:08:49.279 --> 00:08:55.439\n in those four things that is a common theme across everything, emotional intelligence, systems\n\n95\n00:08:55.439 --> 00:09:01.839\n thinking, critical thinking, it requires you to do four basic things. So in my career, it's been,\n\n96\n00:09:02.799 --> 00:09:08.159\n you know, really keying into what I like to look at. What are those little things that make\n\n97\n00:09:08.159 --> 00:09:12.319\n the biggest difference? And so that is how we came to the power of conscious connection.\n\n98\n00:09:12.720 --> 00:09:20.560\n Any, any founder suffers from what you were suffering from, but many of them don't know how to\n\n99\n00:09:20.560 --> 00:09:26.720\n actually replicate themselves and they don't have the ability to maybe tie all those different\n\n100\n00:09:27.440 --> 00:09:31.920\n threads together and find a way to replicate them. So they end up hiring someone and hopefully\n\n101\n00:09:31.920 --> 00:09:36.320\n they find a CEO or somebody that can sort of manage for them. If you were going to give advice to\n\n102\n00:09:36.320 --> 00:09:41.040\n a founder on how to replicate their own style, where would you tell them to start?\n\n103\n00:09:43.200 --> 00:09:48.000\n So I would start with love, right? Which would be begin to listen to the feedback that they're\n\n104\n00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:52.560\n getting. Yeah. I would say observe themselves. What are the very specific decisions that they make?\n\n105\n00:09:52.560 --> 00:09:56.960\n And they could probably make the way that they interact and communicate with people if they've\n\n106\n00:09:56.960 --> 00:10:02.240\n been successful with that into a model. Yeah. Right that people can use. So at Kusai, we actually\n\n107\n00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:06.799\n call our interaction with clients a warm, competent hug, not a real hug, but it's a warm,\n\n108\n00:10:06.799 --> 00:10:12.480\n open hug. So everybody has a system as to what's important in our values. And so they actually apply\n\n109\n00:10:12.480 --> 00:10:18.480\n that and they get measured. We have something, which I'm going to let this cat at the back. I'll\n\n110\n00:10:18.480 --> 00:10:23.120\n probably write my second book on this, but we have something called the GAD factor, GAD. My mom\n\n111\n00:10:23.120 --> 00:10:28.799\n came up with this, but it's great. So GAD, it's the art of giving a damn, right? Oh that's good.\n\n112\n00:10:28.880 --> 00:10:33.440\n So you get a GAD score, right? You'll get a GAD score, Kusai. So it's like, how much do you really\n\n113\n00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:42.320\n care? And so that's big in our company and what we do. So I think with founders begin to figure out\n\n114\n00:10:42.320 --> 00:10:45.680\n what's really important to you. What are the pieces of the system of your organization that make\n\n115\n00:10:45.680 --> 00:10:52.400\n the biggest difference? Observe how you implement those and observe how other people are receiving\n\n116\n00:10:52.400 --> 00:10:57.520\n that implementation. Like are people aligned with the values? Or are you just kind of at a Zoom\n\n117\n00:10:57.519 --> 00:11:03.120\n meeting, just giving reports, right? And then how are you engaging with your team? Are you just\n\n118\n00:11:03.120 --> 00:11:09.039\n engaging on telling people what the numbers are and where you want to go? Or are you doing something\n\n119\n00:11:09.039 --> 00:11:15.439\n that's engaging them in a different kind of connection or experience with the company? So it starts\n\n120\n00:11:15.439 --> 00:11:19.840\n with just a little bit of strategizing and pausing. And from there, create a model, just like you\n\n121\n00:11:19.840 --> 00:11:24.799\n created your product, create a product for how you're going to run your culture and your system.\n\n122\n00:11:24.800 --> 00:11:29.120\n Thanks for tuning in. If you found this valuable, don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you\n\n123\n00:11:29.120 --> 00:11:33.520\n never miss an episode. And if you want to dive deeper into this conversation, check out the links\n\n124\n00:11:33.520 --> 00:11:42.000\n in the description to watch the full episode. See you in the next one.\n","transcription_info":{"language":"en","language_probability":1,"duration":702.0000000000001,"duration_after_vad":702.0000000000001}}