Lessons - Cracking The Leadership Code | Alain Hunkins, Leadership Coach, Speaker and Author

Welcome to the lessons episodes of Success Story. These lessons episodes will be shorter clips from past guests, accomplished value community members, and myself. In each short episode we'll feature concise and insightful actionable conversations and tactics, providing you with real-world strategies and tips to help you achieve your personal and professional goals. If you're seeking a no-nonsense approach to growth and progress, you've come to the right spot. Settle in, take notes, and enjoy. You know what gets measured and rewarded is what gets done. And the fact is, unless there is a compelling reason for people to change, change is hard. And if what you have been doing, if you think it works for you, now you people can think you're crap. But if you think it's good enough, and I have the job, and there's no compelling thing that's going to make me change, you'll stick with what you know. You're not going to be an evolved person. You know, my colleague Tasha Yurk has got this great book called Insight, where she talks about the number one skill we need is to be self-aware. And her research has found that literally only like 8 to 10 percent of people are self-aware, so like 70 percent say they are, which is pretty scary. And one of the things that she suggests is that one thing we need to do to become more self-aware is have these, what she calls these alarm clock moments, these wake-up calls. And unless you have that wake-up call, that hit bottom moment that holy crap what I'm doing is not working, you'll stick with it. And I think so many industries, and I've had conversations with many, many, many, many level managers say, you know what, we kind of try to change things around here, but the people at the top, they're all happy with it, and they're not going to change. So if they don't, things around here won't change. And so there's got to be that sense of urgency. You know, John Cotter talks about, you know, the first core to leading change is you need to have a deep sense of urgency. If it's not important to the leaders in the organization, it's not going to happen to the extent that it can't. Now, yes, can you do things in your own sphere and with your own teams, yes. And ultimately, I believe every organization is limited by the level of the self-awareness of the leaders at the top of the hierarchy. And in following up on that point, is there a best practice to manage up? Let's assume that it's an optimal circumstance and there could be some change. But how would you suggest somebody manage up to leadership? And when we say leadership, I really want to clarify that it doesn't always have to be in a corporate setting either. It can be in a community setting, it can be in a sports team setting, like there's so many different ways that you can apply these principles to be effective in your specific instance. So of course, most of this is going to be in business contacts people that are trying to understand how to manage and leave. But there's a lot of other ways. But still, how do you manage up to? How do you? Because I've always been told and I also agree that managing up is probably the hardest part of a leader's or a manager's job, getting people above you to change their mind. Yeah, it is. And it's funny. I was just having this conversation with someone yesterday who was asking, she's actually on a school board and talking about the head of the school board and that they weren't particularly open and open to change. So same question. And it's interesting because what it takes, it takes a little bit of gymnastics and flexibility to do it is what you can't just go direct until like, hey, you know, you're sucky at this and you change because that doesn't really work. Is you have to align yourself with what is our mutual common goal? And so you need to step back and see the big picture. What is that leader who is up above you? What are they trying to achieve? So starting from that place and then figuring out how can you position and frame what you're going to tell them in light of, this is going to help you help us to be better. So that takes a little bit of like a keto, right? It's like that martial arts be using their energy to get them there. So if you can get them to agree that we are a line I want to get there, great. Would you be open to some feedback on some other alternatives and see if they're open to alternatives about how we can get there? And then they have now open the door to see that the feedback is actually going to help them in some way. And then can you deliver feedback around, I think if we do things differently, this is all of those great political skills of how do you couch your message in a way that people can hear come into play, which is why I think what you're saying is why it's such a difficult thing to do because it does take a little of tack and finesse to notice what's working. How do I have to slightly adjust and change my approach so that the person really hears me and that they know that I'm on their side? Certainly some things that we can do in advance is if we have demonstrated that we have done what we can to make our leaders look good and support what they've done in the past, that's going to go a long way to building our credibility as opposed to us coming out of left field and saying, hey, you know, I've got some feedback for you. So that's why I think there's an art to managing up. For the three C's that we had touched on before and we've sort of dipped our toes into some of them, when we go through connection communication and collaboration, I would like to just, if you can, succinctly describe what each of those means in the context of leadership just so that I have like a sound bite for those three because they've sort of intermingled amongst everything else, but just to make it really, really simple because those are the three core concepts of the book. There. Yeah. Sure. So high level about what they're each. So connection, I said before, at its core leadership is a relationship and the quality is built on a foundation of connection. So how do we get there? The first big piece to creating connection is empathy. That is showing people you understand them and care how they feel. It's my Angelou said it best. I think she said people won't remember what you did. They won't remember what you said, but they'll remember how you made them feel. And there's all sorts of neuroscience that'll back it up. So in this section, we look at what is empathy, what gets in the way, things like impatience, fear, power, get in the way of empathy. And then I look at some simple tools on how you can strengthen your empathy muscles, doing things like being curious, being more open, listening with purpose. These are all things that can make you a more empathic and connected leader. Another big piece to connection also is credibility. That is, if people don't believe you as the messenger, they're not going to believe your message. So what are some things that you can do to strengthen your credibility in the eyes of people you lead? Here's a really simple thing that anybody can do. They're up to your meetings on time. Think about it. Being on time is the easiest thing in the world to measure. You're either in your seat, or on the Zoom call, or you're not. And we know that everything we do and don't do sends a clear message when you're there on time, it sends a message, when you're not there, it sends a message. So that's one of the key things to credibility. So those are the two main components to connection. You've got empathy and you've got credibility. Starting at communication, communication is one of the most challenging things for people to do well. What I found in my research is that leaders spend somewhere between 70 to 90% of their time actually in communication of some kind with other people. So it is a huge thing and it also turns out to be ranked the number one challenge at work in general. And this has been going on for decades. Communication is our biggest challenge. So first, take a look at what are the things that get in the way. And one of the biggest and using analogy here, it's got to have been to a carnival and seen the ring toss in the midway. Of course. Yeah. Never win it, but yes. Never win it. So if you think about in communication, you can think of it as three rings. So one ring is what you mean. The other ring is what you say. And then the third ring is what I hear. So for communication to be aligned to create understanding, all those three rings have to be on top of each other, which as you can imagine, it's hard enough to get one in the carnival to getting all three is really, really challenging. So I take a look at the fact that the goal of communication isn't communication's sake. The goal of communication is to create shared understanding. And the reason that shared understanding is so important is because understanding becomes the platform on which we take all future action. If we have a solid foundation of understanding, we can make great decisions and create good results. If we have a tippy-toppy, shaky platform of, I think I understand, maybe, I don't know, then we're going to make poor decisions and get poor results, which is why getting to the heart of understanding is so critical. So we take a look at things that get in the way and then look at some simple tools that you can use to grow your communication and get understanding. I'll just share a simple tool. I call it asking for a receipt. So if you think about what a receipt is in life, they are proof or confirmation of a completed transaction. So you buy something, you get a receipt, it's proof you bought it. So if you buy a candy bar, you might think, I don't either receipt, but I bet you would never dream of buying a house or a car without getting the receipt because it's important. So in communication, asking for receipt is your ability to confirm that your information has not just been received, but it's been understood. And a really simple story that brings this to life comes from the fast food industry. So we're back to fast food again. So in the 1980s, they were introducing drive-thrues to all the fast food restaurants. And back then, the process was a nightmare. It was really common for people to go up and order their food from the intercom. And then they drive up to the window and they pick it up and be filled with orders. And filled with mistakes, all the order would be filled with mistakes. And this was consistent, like, two years this went on. And then suddenly drive-thru mistake rates just started to plummet. And you might wonder, what was the big technology they introduced? It was so simple. Basically, the employees started repeating the orders back to the customer before they start to make the food. Isn't that the simplest thing? It's very simple. It's seen as now common sense. Right. It seems like common sense, but it wasn't happening. And here's the thing. How many of us have meetings where we all shoot around these ideas and let's do this. Let's do that. And the meeting ends and we haven't circled back around and said, all right, Scott, so what are you doing exactly? What am I doing? And so you think if Taco Bell will do this simple technology for a $0.99 and Taco, do you think our business meetings worth the same level of clarity? So anyway, it's a simple example of one tool that we can use to be better communicators. Very good. And then you've got the last C, which is collaboration. And if we think about it, especially in this modern 21st century age, is we can't actually make someone be a good collaborator, right? Comply, be motivated, be engaged, go. I mean, that's very command and control. So what we want to do is leaders is create conditions where collaboration and motivation is most likely to happen. And to do that, we need to put in place an environment where certain specific needs get met. Turns out that everyone in any organization who wants to get a job done has certain needs. And the four main needs that I cover, we all have a need for safety. And that can be physical safety, which is why we're all working from home right now. For example, there's also psychological safety. So do I feel free to be able to speak up in a meeting and say, I don't understand this. Or I think I made a mistake. Can I say that without feeling like it's a career-limiting move? Also, does everyone on the team have equal air time? Or when the team comes together, do we only hear from one or two people again and again? And other people just never share? So that's a big piece is around psychological safety. To get safety, another big piece to a collaborative environment is people need to have energy. They want to work in an energized environment. Many people can describe their workplace as like zombie haven, right? It's just like, oh, it's so dull and like everything is boring and boring. You know, at the bar, it can be really low. So what are things that we can do to create a more energized workplace? Here's another simple tool that you can use is if you have meetings and you know they're going to go longer than 90 minutes, schedule a break. I know it's a radical concept, but we've all been on those two hour conference calls. There's three hour meetings like, I can't think we can take a break. Like, know that in advance, there's diminishing returns to the human psyche. You need to schedule breaks and so simple, but how many of us do it intentionally? So there's safety, there's energy. Third one is around purpose. We all have a need to feel that what we do matters and that how we do what we do is important and that we can contribute to something bigger than ourselves. So as leaders, how are we reminding people that what they do matters? And there are a lot of things that we can do, including telling stories about how what we do impacts our customer. And I was working last year with an auto tire manufacturer and we're doing some work around helping them to be a more customer centric culture. And this woman said, I don't really touch the customer. I don't really deal with the customer. I said, what do you do? Did I work in finance? I write out invoices. I said, interesting. Those invoices go to the customer. Yeah. So do you think the quality of your invoice makes a difference to the, of course it does. So she again, she didn't realize how what she does mattered and made a difference. And so many people get so stuck in their own little part of the bigger picture. They lose sight of that. So what can we do to remind people their purpose? And the fourth need is around ownership. The fact is we all do better work when we feel free and autonomous to do things in the way we want to and unleashes our creativity. And no one likes a micromanager telling us, do this first, then that, then this, then that we want to be able to be free. So those four needs, safety, energy, purpose and ownership are key to unlocking a culture of great motivation and collaboration.