Ryan Zofay - Entrepreneur & Speaker | From Homeless to $100M Dollar Business

So 95% of what we do is unconscious, the poison of the known is better than the poison of the unknown. Society wants us to be run of the mill. Sit down and have a moment and ask yourself, are you really living the life that you designed? Babe, just be happy with what you have. That right there kills somebody's dream. Everything that's blocking you today from where you want to be in your life has everything to do with situations that you went through as a child. You're going to continue to live based on those limitations. If I want to make my company more valuable, I need to make my people more valuable. Perfectionism is the thief of execution. What I learned through this journey is your level of decision making has everything to do with your belief systems. I'm going to make decisions based on that belief. People that believe in themselves make decisions and take action towards their future self. Welcome to success story on your host, Scott Clary. The success story podcast is part of the HubSpot podcast network. Very exciting news. HubSpots inbound converts is back, which means you got to clear your schedules, mark your calendars, get the sitter, three jam pack days from September 18th through the 20th live and Boston. You're going to hear inspirational narratives, candid interviews on the highs and lows of incredibly notable figures, business owners, politicians. You're going to learn from successful entrepreneurs like Ryan Reynolds and Serena Williams on how they reinvented themselves and their businesses to achieve massive success. They're going to gain valuable insights from industry leaders, visionaries on effective strategies for personal and professional growth. And there's so much more. And on top of all that, I'm speaking again, this is my third inbound. So I'll be doing a segment. So if you want to hear from Ryan Reynolds, Serena Williams or you want to hear from me, go to inbound.com, go see the lineup and grab your tickets today. I'll see you in Boston. All right, Ryan, thank you for coming on. I appreciate you a lot. I'm excited for this. There's a lot that we're going to go into. There's a lot of, I guess, negative when you were growing up that we're going to talk about what I want to actually kick it off like this. When you think about your childhood growing up, tell me about a positive, or even a positive memory or a happy memory or something that happened that was like a net positive in your life. Yeah, so one of the first memories that come to my mind was my fourth, it was my my birth is December 19, so typically Christmas and my birth there celebrated within like within a week. So my parents actually did not do two for one on that. Like I actually got both gifts. Yeah, so they didn't they didn't hustle me on that. And so it was my fourth Christmas. And I remember that I wanted the Batmobile and my sister got the Barbie car. And I just remember that I was so excited as a kid just like racing my sister. And I remember this one moment where I got sad because the Barbie car was faster than the Batmobile. I'm like, I have his belief that like the Batmobile is the fastest car. And then I like, this is not true. This is not true. I just remember that that was that was my one of my first memories as a as a child growing up. That was exciting. You know, when you when you think back, I mean, I want you to just at least talk about, you know, we can start. I think the the first thing that happened that was difficult was when you were five years old. Yeah, and you're your sister passed. This is like a string of unfortunate events that happened over your life. Yeah. Do you feel like you are grateful or hateful for the experiences that you had as a child? Interesting. So before I did a lot of the trauma work and the introspection and the healing, I would I had a lot of hate and I had a lot of anger and a lot of resentments because you know, and this is crazy to say like I would unconsciously blame my sister for why I didn't get the love that I thought I deserved for my parents. And I didn't know this. This was like an unconscious pattern and unconscious behavior and doing work, you know, reliving those experiences and healing that stuff. I was able to see that that I was holding on to resentments and it's kind of crazy to say because it's like my sister didn't do anything intentionally to cause this. But in my mind as a little boy, my sister got all the attention because she was sick all the time. And so I just felt like I was always put on the back burner. I was always like second. I never really got the attention that I felt like I deserved. And then when she died, that just continued. It was like, what about me? You know, like I lost a sister too. Like I am your son as well. Why aren't you giving me the attention that I deserve? And then shortly after that, my mom divorced my dad. So like my entire environment was like, nobody loves me. Everybody hates me. I'm worthless. And if they cared about me, they would treat me differently. And so that was like my experience as a child growing up. That was my story. That was my perception of that. And you feel like it was that story real. Like when you when you look back, behind sites, always 2020, when you look back, you believe that that caused a massive shift. And obviously your parents divorced. Was it because of the sister? I believe so. My mom was very resentful to my father because my father was incapable of like supporting her emotionally. And my sister, the day my sister passed, she threw a phone at my mom. It was yelling at my mom saying, I want my daddy. I want my daddy. And my mom was just so angry and resentful at my dad because he wasn't there. And my dad thought, you know, the way to handle this was like just a work. My dad was a workaholic. And so he just hid himself and just staying busy. And so when my sister passed, my mom was just so broken. And she hated my dad because of it. And so she left them. So obviously that like really, they really shifted the family dynamic. Speak to me about just the relationship you have with your mom, the relationship you had with your dad, because I know there's some stories from both. And sort of that how that formed your first early years and sort of the path that it led you down. Because this is tough, but I think that the story that you had is not just a normal divorce, right? This is not just normal divorce. It's not just, you know, we see, you know, we we we choose one family or one one parent on this Christmas, one parent on the other Christmas, like a lot of really dark shit happened. Yeah. Yes. So my mom remarried. And the man she remarried was very abusive. And so I remembered it was my ninth, I was nine years old. I remember I came home from school and I walked into the house and my father was drinking alcohol at the time. And he looks at step step that stepfather. Well, my real father. Oh, real father. Yeah. So I walked into my home and my father was like, your mother was just shot by your stepfather. And I was just like, what? And my dad was drunk. So I didn't have the relationship with him where I felt like I could like like talk to him or even like have a level of of like safety where I can like cry in his arms. I literally went to my bedroom and I remember just kicking the wall, stomping the wall and like making holes everywhere. And it was the first time that I considered like suicide. I was like, this is just like I was the pain was just so severe. You know, the only thing I had in my mind was like my mom left. My dad's an alcoholic. My dad abuses me. My mom just got shot by Kevin. And like in my mind, like my mom chose Kevin over me, you know, and it was just this this deep desire of like not feeling loved or not feeling appreciated. And so that was like my first like real traumatic experience with with my mom leaving my dad and and and having that that experience. When you think about how that impacts you, so this like when did you start to become impacted the point where not just suicidal, but you got involved with like how do you describe like just like reckless ass behavior? Like you're obviously sell and I'm actually super curious if you feel like drugs substance abuse. Was that like to numb pain? Was that because you realize that if you're sober, you did want to commit suicide. You just like you're looking at your life at a young age and you're like abusive stepdad, dead mother, dad who also is not in a good spot. But you think I don't even understand how you were living through this and candidly came out on the other side. Like it doesn't even compute to me because you have to understand like I didn't come from a heart upbringing. So it's really hard for me to even like ask the right questions because it's such a fucking traumatic thing that a kid should never have to go through. Yeah. It's like how do you how do you coming from that not kill yourself? How do you come from that end up in a good space? Yeah. It's wild. It's absolutely wild. Yeah it's heavy stuff dude and you know I only know that that God was guiding me through that you know and I believe that my sister was my guardian angel through all this. My mom survived that that that situation by the way. She I guess the gun was like like point blank in the fact that it was so close that it didn't have a chance to like expand and blow out the back of her neck so she survived. Yeah but watch this she gets back with him and he then stabs her 13 times. And so that was that was just a horrific experience for me and you ask like how I made it I don't even know how I made it to be honest with you like it was it was something above me you know like I was on a destructive path I was just just I didn't care I was wild I I was hanging out with older kids that were just just relentless ruthless kids and I fit right in you know like it's crazy this sounds is like I didn't have the safety or the love that my parents were capable of giving me so I found that somewhere else and so what I know today like the human mind is always looking to put you in position is to protect you like that is that is the design of of a human mind and so my protection mechanism was hanging out with kids on the streets because there was some sort of community there was some sort of like support and all of that and then yeah using the drugs allowed me to numb I I didn't have to feel those feelings and so I started using at a young age 11 and by the time I stopped I was 16 so those five years of use it was you know I ended up getting like 21 felonies I was in year 11 you don't even have money dude it's crazy like I'll look at kids today that are 11 and I'm like I was robbing houses at that age like it was crazy I was stealing cars at that age like I it's hard for me to even comprehend dude it's hard for me to even like look back and like believe that's like what I went through like even sitting here right now like there's this there's just like this emotional like cloud over me right now like it just got real deep for me because I'm like in it and I'm just like holy shit man like how did I make it out like I don't it's like it's it's truly a miracle because I don't think that I mean I speak to a lot of people that had tough stories right and some people that went through some shit but it's like no one's doing this at 11 right people are doing this one they're like 17 18 19 20 to 25 getting in the drug not 11 like you're your your brain is not even fully formed when you're 11 years old so you go down this path for until you're 16 yeah um so funny because I love the concept of rock bottom because rock bottom can be a catalyst for people sure but you hit rock bottom like repeatedly it was like once it was like many times so some some heads are harder than others I yes so 16 tell me what happened with 60 when you were 16 years old um this is the accident that you got into yeah so it's interesting dude so it's like it's like a Friday and I went to my best best friend Jonathan's house and they were big advocates of like introducing Christ and introducing like youth through the crew that you were running with this is a even when you were doing drugs or no so this he he was like the good guys uh like I had like good friends that like cared about me love the love me and so I remember going to his house on Friday and and he was like begging me to stop and he was like please Ryan please because he already knew I was in an out of juby and I was looking at 25 the life I had like a secondary felony hanging over my head and he was like crying and him and his his parents were like begging me and and I was just so addicted that nothing was gonna stop me and I literally remember walking down the street and he was like Ryan you'd be lucky to see to to make it past 16 and I remember I was like dude I don't even care like if this is my fate this is my fate and so that was Friday Monday morning I partied all weekend I was on like a robbing spree I robbed a bunch of cars to supply my drug use and it was Monday morning I was driving in the front seat of my best friends car at the time and I just remember like the drugs one working I had like a handful of Xanax and I was like dude I think I'm gonna come into this stuff and we just started popping them like tic-tacs and shortly after that I don't really recall what happened I woke up weeks later in the juvenile detention facility and I found out that I was in high speed chase we flipped the car and I was proclaimed dead at the scene and I was trauma hawk to delirium medical center and so I found all that out after being in juvie and my dad told me this and then my dad told me you're not my son my son would never do something like this pretty much I disown you and he hung up on me and so that's where I was at at 16 years old and I think a part of it was he was scared that he was gonna lose me because he knew that if I kept getting in trouble I was gonna spend the rest of my life in prison so I think that was his way of like like closing the door for himself because he was devastated that I was doing that stuff um do you look back and blame him no I don't man my dad was so incredible dude like although his approach may not have been ideal and it may not have fit the standards of society today in terms of his approach and yet although it was very painful but that man helped me become who I am today and the as many lives as I'm impacting and my dedication and my grit comes from him and so I'm so grateful for him today and no I don't blame him for what he was doing at that time when you think back do you think that like all the all the shit that was happening in your family like how did that impact how you thought your life was going to unfold yeah man it's interesting like today I know you know the the developmental part of of a child's brain is between age of two and seven and that's when like the majority of your your belief systems and the model of your world is created and so I was I was just a monster dude like in my mind like I was a wrecking machine I was angry I was resentful and nothing was gonna stop me I did whatever I want whenever I wanted with whoever I wanted to do with and you can't tell me anything otherwise like I didn't listen anybody I didn't care like there was nothing you could tell me and a lot of that stuff still lives with me today but I was I'm now able to turn it for good now I'm able to use it to like give impact and and create businesses and and and lead people and influence people but it was it was it was a lot of work bro to work through that stuff because even when you so you wake up after this like Xanax binge and then you're basically like you don't even remember what happened is that the moment when you're like I'm changing my life I mean a lot of addiction and generational trauma leads to a certain leads you to that point sure I don't know what you're what happened with your parents parents or anything that was passed down but was there a point when you were like and was that it like this is no longer gonna be my you know my lineage is no longer gonna be my life I'm gonna change it because it's not just like you slightly got better you like did like a 180 yeah you're like I'm gonna build a business around the people that actually helped me at my worst point I'm gonna start giving back so there's a there's a massive mindset shift at some point yeah was that it or was it later so two major things happened to me at that time October 8th was the accident 2001 so in the month of October to the most impactful things happened to me in my life at that time the first most impactful thing was the consequence that I was faced with because at this point there was nothing I could do there was nothing I could do literally I was like powerless and that was the best and I could have happened to me because that was the moment when I had no choice but the surrender I had to surrender because there was nothing I could do to get out of this and so that was when I started to develop my relationship with God because literally all I could do was pray to God like please give me out of this one like and at this point there was what he's facing like like criminal charges 25 to life is won't he five to life yeah okay and so I already spent two years in Juve I had a second degree felony had multiple burglaries multiple grand thefts and the judge said if you're coming back you're done and I was prison mates with people that had way less charges than me that went up the road for 10 15 20 years so I thought I was done I was like this is it so that was the first most impactful thing that could happen to me because it was a moment of like true surrender the second thing was my mom got sober my mom got sober she survived all that still alive she's still alive like I bless her bro because she's I don't know man she's she's freaking incredible bro and my mom's gorgeous bro and so I'm in Juve I haven't talked to my mom in years she comes barreling through the detention center gorgeous and they say they say something in in recovery in AA it's attraction not promotion and I was just like what because this was like my street partner like she taught me the street she taught me how to be a criminal she taught me how to steal how to lie how to manipulate how to angle like she taught me that and so when she came through that juvenile detention facility door I was like who is this she's no longer with Kevin she passed now yeah at this point no she's no longer with Kevin she left Kevin after he stabbed her 13 times then she finally decided to move on thank God yeah well he did 18 months in prison so I think that helped yeah and then she got sober because I think this was probably like right around when I was like 13 14 so she got sober like a year-ish before my 16th birthday so she had like a year plus at this time of sobriety and so when she came in it was it was like everything that I've been looking for my entire life is just one of my mom to love me and she came barreling in and she was going to do whatever it took to make sure I didn't spend the rest of my life in prison okay so this is this is this is like the true rock bottom but you also have your mother coming into it now what is like the first step that you took to whatever pack because I mean like this is not the end of the story by the way like you still have a lot of other not so great shit that happened yeah but the good times going yeah so like I don't want to I don't want to pretend this is like okay so like the next day you started a business at the hundred million dollars he's speaking on stage he's helping people this is not this is not at 17 right now so what was the first thing that you tried to do because I mean like so when you started working I'm talking about like some of the trouble you got into with the FTC and yeah was that like the the job the work I'm going to start making money I'm going to be like on this right narrow so it was a little after that so it's like there was definitely like some some glory days after my mom coming in you know have the Superman cape on she got me through it the judge gave me one more chance she fought like tooth she fought tooth and nail my probation officer I had some I had some allies um everyone needs yeah and and my mom remarried a gentleman at this time that was actually in this space in the substance abuse and mental health space that I'm in now and he was very reputable and he was very familiar with going to court and getting people into like drug programs and getting people support so he was also an advocate and and getting me sober and so they they I went to court to carp for three months so I got out and now it was just like like all the things I didn't get as a kid I now I'm getting like I'm the center of attention my mom's like proud of me my dad's proud of me Joe's like loves me like I'm now like I have this incredible reputation because like all the kids that grew up with they only knew like the crazy shit that I did and they they it was in news like all the shit that I did was like all over the news and so like I was like very popular now and so like I went from like a nobody to like a somebody and and I'm sober and so like I knew like sobriety meant everybody's gonna love me I knew like sobriety meant like everybody's gonna praise me and so like I was like I'm never gonna get high again like this is incredible yeah and that's exactly what happened for five years and I was like the poster child of recovery down here in South Florida and then my mom relapsed my dad was diagnosed with cancer and so like my whole world came crashing down my whole childhood so wild how like even even even when you're like killing it and life's going good yeah it's like yeah the importance of parents so true bro that's absolutely wild that even though like everything was going good I mean two major life events and all of a sudden right back to the bottom I really hated myself hated everybody else I didn't want to talk to nobody because my my family unit was gone you know my mom and Joe divorced because my mom got high my mom Joe and my dad they owned a business together in recovery helping people get sober that all split and blew up and so now my dad and Joe hate each other they're fighting um and now I'm like gonna lose both my parents again and so I was like F this like I got to figure this out on my own you know this these beliefs of like no one no one's gonna protect me no one's gonna be here for me and then I was introduced to a gentleman by the name of Matt Meyer who introduced me to commodities and once I realized that I can be a millionaire you know selling commodities I was like this is my new drug this is this is my path out this is my this is my this is what's going to fix all my problems was money and that was my new drug um how do you even become good at this coming from no background and finance no background and sales no so I went to I went to his office it was a Friday it was actually December 17th 2007 remember like I was yesterday he showed me a 72 you think he was praying on you because he knew that you could be manipulated probably yeah because they guided me down a path that was very like yeah it was it was not yeah I do believe that but that was that was the environment that they were in like they didn't know any better like they they were looking for guys like me that were in recovery that had like an obsessive obsessive compulsive type personality that wanted to be rich and so I was the perfect avatar for what they were looking for and I remember walking in and he showed me a 72 thousand dollar check and he's like I made this in a month and I was like that's what I'm making in a year like are you fucking kidding me and I was like what do I gotta do that he said all you have to do is work harder than everybody else that was that was easy because that's what my dad taught me I was like what yeah first here last to leave dial more than everybody else and I'll be a minor that's easy I was like give me the keys to the office give me the script and just leave me alone seven months with grinding you know I wasn't making a ton of money I was probably like 2000 to 3000 bucks a month barely getting by I literally like sold all my stuff like sold my truck moved into my grandparents house and so this was October 2008 right around the market was crashing and I remember walking into his office and I was like I'm struggling bro like I don't think this is for me and he looks at me and he's like you know Ryan this isn't for everybody he's like not everybody makes it and at the time that was what I needed to hear because I'm very competitive in this not really challenge accepted yeah so like people tell me you can't do it okay I'll show you yeah and so then I but here's get here's the part here's the best part I go home my grandfather went to university of florida masters degree very reputable professional like education was his path and like all his kids went to school and I sat down I was like I was like looking for support looking for some guidance and he literally looks at me and it's like Ryan it makes sense that you're not good at this you didn't go to school and so now I have the belief of like I need education and I was like all right well fuck you I was like you don't think I could do it all right cool so I came in the office on Monday and I didn't even say nothing to Matt I just started dialing and I literally was I'd never worked this hard before my life and I grinded all week was Friday like six o'clock Matt is in the restroom he's like dude Ryan like I have to close the office I'm like I'm not leaving until I close a deal I was like I was relentless I usually average like 300 dials a day I was probably doing like 500 dials a day so while I'm out I was just like in I was relentless bro I was like I got to get this guy to say yes and then finally the last call I made Matt was in the bathroom he's like when I'm done using the bathroom I'm closing the office the guy asked a blind question he was I was pitching like I think it was October so I was pitching heating oil you know because the demand of heating oil goes up in the winter because more people use it so it just common sense and the guy's like what about corn or what about wheat and I was just like I got a bottle I was freaking out I was like hold for training class I transferred it to Matt Matt wrapped it up but that was the first yes that I got and it was over from there bro that was my first yes and once I felt and understood what it took to get it yes it was done because I had the work ethic down I had the I was just I was I was a grinder bro like I work I work I work I work I work I work I work I work I work anybody that was my mindset but then once I heard the yes I was like I got addictive then it was then it was easy the next year I made a million bucks year after it was history but a lot of people that go into sales do not get sued by the FTC and a lot of people that go into sales can make a lot of money too so is this like just like paint the picture for people is this like like like like wolf a wall street kind of like pink sheets because you're talking about commodities you're not even talking about super volatile like small market cap no name companies yeah I was on a New York market talk exchange to talk about trades so I was like a license commodity broker and the regular the regular the regular the regulators were tightening up their their supervision on our industry because we were trading options and so I knew at this time like worst case scenario I get I lose my license I guess suspended so I didn't care I was just a gunslinger because that's what they taught me because everyone was probably everybody was gunslinger in my in my firm we didn't care about anything we just wanted people to buy options and 90 something percent of options expire worthless so at some point somebody's going to lose and I didn't care because I was triggering people's greed and I was speaking to that part of them they were responsible for what they're doing it was literally like I'm at a casino yeah and I'm like standing there promoting like complete 21 you might win yeah you know and so that was essentially what happened I got suspended from the NFA but then I kept going with leverage metals and so this was an unregulated market we would buy physical bullion and we would do a leverage contract and so it'd be like a financing agreement so you'd give me a hundred grand I would use your hundred grand and buy 250 thousand dollars worth of of silver there was an interest payment and there was a finance agreement but it was a leverage agreement so it was the same pitch and then I would charge commission on the total leverage value so I ended up getting a significant commission for this and then Obama came into office the Dodd-Frank law passed now the FTC is supervising this market this industry they came in they sued me for 10 million and yeah that's exactly what happened so you've never been sued up to that point never okay so being sued by the FTC for 10 million is stressful as hell for anybody so okay so even just like walk through what you experienced with that did they win though I don't know the outcome of this no so soon or no yeah so they came in they freaking dropped the box on my receptive they physically walk into the office they had a sort of process server again so four months before this happened I got a phone call from an old employee that said the FTC just called me asking me questions so I got the regulators phone number and I called the guy was like hey yeah I think his name was Gideon Simicent Simicent or something like that I don't know and I remember I called him I was like hey this is Ryan Zofi the owner of sterling precious metals well I might understand that you were contacting ex employees asking questions and he was like oh no and you know just just you know whatever he said and he was like and I was like there's anything you need for me you know feel free to call I'm here to help whatever I can do because at this point like I like in my mind I'm watered up like I have compliance department I'm like according all conversations like everything I did from from a compliance perspective was legit like they sued me four months later after that phone call and I ended up beating the preliminary injunction so the preliminary injunction was the first part if the FTC won the preliminary injunction they freeze all my assets and I have nothing they take everything well that was the first piece that needed to happen so we went to court on Monday we fought the case I presented all my evidence it was very obvious that what the FTC was saying was not accurate but it took like 30 days before the judge concluded his final decision and this is interesting dude like this was like a huge turning point for me in my life but I'm also wondering why they even went after you in the first place like so somebody called them and made a complaint well so interesting here you go I forgot about this so they increased margin requirements in gold and silver because remember gold and silver running through the roof yeah so the they increased margin requirements and naturally the market's gonna die for us yeah so the market tanked overnight and all my positions got smoked because it's on leverage contracts so like the market created an environment where it dropped significantly all the people that were in the market lost money at the end of the day the evidence that they were stating was like you charged x dollars in commission they have nothing left that's a problem but they weren't considering the market dropping then we're considering any of that stuff you were above board it was just yeah above board but morally and ethically yeah I knew it wasn't right I was wondering because I'm thinking about like the fact that you go into this world and you even spoke about um you know like when you sort of came out of that Xanax binge you were like the only reason why I'm here is God and the only reason why like and then you start to realize that there's like a purpose beyond yourself yeah but it's interesting the second you start making money off of trading it's like it's a very selfish way to make money because you know that there's gonna be a lot of losers in it yeah it's it's it's it's just a tough it's a business but it's a tough business so it's sad I don't want to put words in your mouth it sounds like you like glossed yourself for a minute yeah and you're like focused on making money and money solves all problems yeah and like families not family sort of falling apart again this little cohesive unit that I had for a couple years fell apart again so like I mean money but then money becomes addictive yeah and then you don't stop it's not like you just made a salary and then got back on the right track it's like let me see how far I can push this yeah because you're like that kind of per your very competitive person like I get it like I totally get it it's it's a good personality for an entrepreneur and it's sometimes a bad person yeah if you're if you're not on the right path so this is like another like wake up call for you yeah I'm assuming I don't know I'm so 10 million dollar lawsuit I go home yeah my fiance leaves me why because the guy I was who I was being the guy that was but she she met you when you were doing so she met me right before I started on commodities so interesting and she felt that you changed enough she well I kept promising that I was gonna stop I kept promising I was like just one it was like I was addicted dude I literally couldn't stop and I literally would come home we'd fight probably every three or four months she'd like Ryan you said when you get to this number you're gonna stop why did you hate it so much because I was she didn't she knew what I was doing was was morally unethically wrong and she knew in my heart that I didn't love it because I would come home at night and cry at times because like people would lose money and it would crush me because like these people are trusting in me these people are literally like believing in what I'm saying you know and although what I'm saying is true the risk 90 percent of the people lose and so it was just devastating to me and so the FTC came in they sued me I go home she leaves me the best thing that could have happened to me happened dude it was again another moment where I had no choice but to surrender and so I was so blessed for that because I don't think I could have stopped and so God stepped in for me and here's what's interesting so 30 days after I go to the preliminary injunction I'm on the phone my first sponsor so my sponsor I'm on the phone I I finally divulge everything to him I've been avoiding him I've been ducking him because now I'm not like really working a program because it's hard to like go work an honest program and be spiritual and love God when you're being a scumbag and so I finally like broke down and told him and I was like scared to death Scott and he literally says to me he's like Ryan the second step is all about turning your will in your life over to God he's like are you that's the third step are you ready to give your life to God and I was scared I did I was I was hard I was like really having a hard time making this decision and I was like oh my God like I didn't realize how hard this was and I got to the point where I was like okay I'm willing I'm willing to let this old life go I kid you not Scott as soon as I hope to phone with him my lawyer emails me and says Ryan you won the preliminary injunction and so as soon as I gave it to God God's like here you go and I was like holy shit I was like this is crazy that was like that was like 90% of the case now my lawyers are like all right we're good now we can go to the table and just settle this and just move on because I didn't want to be in the industry no more if I wanted to be in the industry I could have been I didn't want to be and so we went to the mat we did a suspended judgment I paid my fine and now I have like reporting requirements that I have to do now but you're not barred from the industry no I mean I can't sell precious metals anymore I could get back in the NFF I wanted to I could get my my series seven if I wanted to but I don't have any interest to do that um okay so I'm so okay what does God mean to you yeah it's interesting dude like it's changed throughout my life um you know like I started going to Christian church for the last five years and I started being introduced to Jesus Christ as my Savior and I I believe you know Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins and I believe a lot of what they say but I also have a hard time believing that you're gonna go to hell if you don't believe in Jesus because there's 8 billion people on earth only 2.4 billion people know about Christianity so you're telling me that that's true I didn't know that yeah I did this research because I'm like this is crazy like I just have a hard time believing that like God is gonna say like you're going to hell if you don't believe that Jesus is the path to me so I it was it's I'm like dude like I'm always like facts check like this yeah it's it's an innate part of me so I was like let me do some math and some research I'm like dude there's 8 billion people in the world only 2.4 billion people know about Jesus Christ so you're telling me the other 5.6 people 5.6 billion people are gonna go to hell because they just never knew about Christianity so I don't know what that means but I think that there's I think God's a very good thing I think that believing in something beyond yourself is good and I think that Godlessness is not a good thing I think a lot of society is godless right now which I think is why or there's a whole bunch of issues but there's always issues it doesn't matter but I believe that even like some parts of like organized religion that some of it's fear based too you gotta think about where a lot of like religion like originally came from and the people that like sort of expanded and it's like some of the messaging I think is a lot of fear based so that's not good but I think that like believing in God believing in something beyond yourself I think is very important for sure because if not then who are you accountable to and you just do whatever the fuck you want and if you're not in jail then who cares right that's also not a good way to live your life why I've been I've been I've been down both paths unfortunately unfortunately I guess no I mean like you everything is that everything is a learning experience right yeah everything's a learning experience like so when you look at what you've built now it like it's not like it's not like a religious calling but I mean part of your belief in God prompted you force you sort of push you towards building something that was really altruistic it was like building something that was bigger than yourself and I think that's actually I need to tell you got to where you are like right now because even a lot of the stuff that you do we talk about this offline like why are you waste we're in your studio right now why are you wasting your money and your time building this right it's like you have a fully functioning business but and not only is your business helping more people than the average business it's not just like selling like products or services like still I want to do more many people that build a hundred million dollar businesses do not learn learn how to teach and speak and and run works like it is not like the average thing that somebody does right so I think that all the stress and all the bullshit that you dealt with actually put you in like made you a pretty damn good person yeah from what I've known so far so so as you sort of progress in your journey no more commodities your sober again I'm assuming I was sober I was sober through the whole time so then the next big thing is we level up right that's the the next sort of yes and of your life so yes so by the FTC fiancee left me and actually before I came on set I actually called one of my really good friends who introduced me to onsite yeah which was the foundation of my inner healing and inner trauma and so I went to onsite in 2012 and I learned about what's onsite it's a it's a it's a it's a first development program like a retreat and they deal with like inner child traumas and and so that was the first time that I was exposed to like early childhood trauma and like I finally understood like why I was doing the things that I was doing so I was the first moment when I had some like acceptance around me being a scumbag because like up into that point like I didn't know I didn't I kept like finding myself like when I was 16 I woke up in jail and I'm like how'd I get here like what the hell is going on yeah and that's how I know God was guiding me I got super the FTC I woke up and was like how did I get here like what the hell is going on like this track why why sometimes dude I didn't want to be that guy I was like how did I become this guy but then I finally realized that I had to take responsibility for myself and I learned that at onsite and I was like holy shit like there's so much trauma around my mom getting shot my mom getting stabbed my dad abusing me using drugs being taken advantage of manipulated all that stuff was like the core of why I was doing the things I was doing and so that was the first introduction to this version of Ryan and I was like well holy crap like I can I can heal people I can teach people I know what they need to do now like I know the answers I was like I gotta let everybody know this and so that's when I started um we level up it was 2013 but if I mean you didn't even have experience building out I had no I have to have another question forget me for before we go down that road um somebody listening to this they're like yeah no shit he had a lot of childhood trauma like that's that's very evident but you've done a lot of work with with trauma in general um what do people need to know about childhood trauma even if they didn't experience the type of life that you experienced and and the very obvious trauma like what is actually stuck in our subconscious yeah so 95% of what we do is unconscious and so like what side of the bed do you sleep on right side how long you've been sleeping on the right side of the bed since forever right yeah and so that's an unconscious pattern for example so the human mind is designed to stick to the pattern yeah that keeps you safe and so that's why they say the the the the the poison of the known is better than the poison of the unknown because the human mind is designed to just state stay its course to keep you safe and so between the ages of two and seven our belief systems are created our patterns are created based on our environment and those programs are still running today and so it doesn't matter if you have severe trauma like me or you just had a normal childhood even someone that had a normal childhood still has moments when they didn't feel loved they didn't feel appreciated they didn't feel heard they didn't feel important and so those moments whether there was a severe's mind or not they are still impacting you today which is why I teach what I teach now because it's my responsibility to show people how unconscious they are and once you can become conscious of your unconscious programs you can now take responsibility because most people live in a victim environment because they don't know they literally don't know like the definition of a victim is something that just doesn't know is helpless and so most people 98% of people today walking around on earth are in this victim mindset which is why they work a nine to five they do the things that they do because they don't know there's another opportunity and society programs us this way society wants us to be run of the mill society programs us to like go clock in go clock out go home and be happy be grateful for what you have and so that's the victim mentality and so it's my job to show people like hey there's more to life than what you're what you're living how do you so if you're if you're just looking at your own life and you feel like listen I got a good job I don't feel like a victim like what's the what's the the step to sort of like open your eyes so to speak so that you see the other the see the other alternative like it's victim mentality versus I'm assuming it's like choice to take action or whatever it is is there than audit that you get people to do is there some sort of like wake the f up and realize yeah this is not the life that you're put on this earth to live what is it sure so the example that you just gave in terms of this individual that has this good job and they're happy yeah is this good job that they're happy with is it something that they just accepted as their standard or is this truly the dream job that they wanted it are they truly living their dream life I don't even think people know what what their dream is right I don't even think people think about it right people just sort of meander through life and fall in maybe quasi purposefully into next job next promotion whatever but I think dreams have died a long time ago because I think anyone's dream is to be like a CPA for 40 years right like I mean it's a good job right you're comfortable so why do they stay stuck why idea right it's about that so they so they they're like I'm just going to my job and I could support my family and you know I'm somewhat happy with what I got and but all of a sudden they're like but am I really living what I really want to live and so think about it like we get these downloads like like for me like I'm now speaking on some of the biggest stages in the world that was a thought that was a dream five years ago but I didn't stop chasing that dream I didn't stop pursuing that dream I did whatever it took to get to that point and so that's that's the first auditing tool is like sit down and have a moment and ask yourself like are you really living the life that you designed or are you living the life that society deems is what's appropriate or the people around you because sometimes the the the people that we love the most are the ones downloading these thoughts that like oh just be happy like you could be your wife could be your husband like babe just be happy with what you have that right there kill somebody's dream kill somebody cut their legs out from underneath them imagine coming home I'm a husband I come home I'm a CP I've been with CP for 20 years and I sit down my wife and say babe you know like I watch this ad on on TikTok and I I've always dreamt of like speaking on stages do you think I could do that babe babe what stop it babe like you're a CPA you at the school to learn numbers you know numbers like just eat your food and just be happy that guy is dream just got crushed but he wanted it he desired it but he didn't follow through with it because the person he loved the most doesn't even know what they're doing but they're literally cutting your legs out from underneath you after the parents a lot too yeah parents who you know you said like what's what's a normal family I mean normal so subjective but like let's paint a picture of normal families and like very risk averse parents career parents daughter parents and then you want to go build something you want to go it's not like it's not like they this is this is my family to a tea right sure not like they mean bad by telling you that like maybe be careful like yeah no don't take those risks yeah they don't know that world right they don't know that world at all so for them they're not trying to hurt you they're trying to trying to save you yeah but I mean they're trying to save you they're pretty it's so dude and so you asked me about my relationship with my dad I'm so blessed for him dude although like his teaching styles and his way of doing things were not ideal but my dad was the type of guy that was like you're not going to sit on you're not going to sit on the couch yeah you're going to go outside and play go build a tree for it go swim in the lake like so my dad was always like go play go do your thing and so that that created the the part of Ryan that has these these these visions in these dreams and and and could go out there and pursue them because I was like I'd come home like hey dad like I want to build a tree for it my dad would go buy wood and bring he'd literally go buy wood from Home Depot grab me a box of nails grab me hammer and say figured out and I was like all right and then I'd bang wood on the thing and it had so much fun as a kid but dude that was so important for the developmental part of my my childhood although I had other traumas in there but those were those magical moments that has allowed me to create what I create today because it's like when I have a thought like I know that I can go figured out because I did it and I'm doing that my whole life what I just not to complete side track so we'll go back to we level up sugar but um you've mentioned something before about there was a point when you were super curious you're super inquisitive and it seems like that's the kind of kid that your dad wanted but then he shut down that like you were talking to him or asking the questions and he's like you just basically told you to yeah and I'm so curious like looking back why did he do that it was his own trauma that he was going through and he basically shut you up when you were trying to ask questions about something yes I was seven I was in the front seat of his pickup truck my mom just left him and I was like always I was like a very active loving outgoing kid bouncing around just like I just had a lot of fun and I remember I would always ask my dad questions and one day he like I really angry at me because of his own stuff that he was going through with with my mom the divorce and him not feeling good enough and him blaming himself for my sister dying all the things that I'm sure he was telling himself at the time and he's like show your mouth Ryan you ask a lot of damn questions and I was just like but that like scarred me and it literally still to this day I battle with that dude like even getting on this podcast with you like there's a part of me that still has that like that scar that wound that like people don't want to hear what I have to say you know like shut up Ryan like you're nobody like keep it quiet you ask too many questions and so like I have it's a conditioning now like I work through it but yeah do that that that scarred me that that really really scarred me I just want to take a second and thank the HubSpot podcast network for sponsoring the show's success story we've been part of their network for the past three years now if you're a podcast fan you have to check out some of the other incredible podcasts in the HubSpot podcast network like my first million hosted by Sam Parr and Sean Perry they feature famous guests like Alex or Mozie Sophia Emma Russo Hassan Minhaj sharing their secrets on how they made their first million and how to apply their learnings to capitalize on today's business trends and opportunities listen to my first million wherever you get your podcasts like I mean there's a couple lessons there first of all like this childhood trauma like it's like it's it's so deeply ingrained like you were just talking about that it like really messes with you when you're trying to as a functioning adult functioning professional you're trying to go through life because it's always going to be running in the feedback loop in your brain there's a really interesting guy that I actually want to introduce you to that you you guys will get along but his work is actually trying to like remove that like repeating loop of trauma in your brain and he then he has some science behind it but the point is everybody has this so like that one sentence you remember that like whatever like 30 plus years later right that's phenomenal in a bad way then also the other lesson is like we're we're so selfish to think that everything is about us when we're younger even when we're older and we keep thinking that like man this person said this about me I must be a piece of shit I must be worthless I must be my wife said you can't do that so I'm not going to try and do it but we never even stop for a second and it's like there's so many clichés but like you know like the person is going through their own shit and the person has all their own problems in their own life and we don't even consider that when they say a sentence or a word or they lash out at us yet we take that to heart and we don't consider why they're actually saying that we just take it at its face value so your dad is going through divorce your dad is going through a lot of shit with you know his his wife and he lashes out at you in a better circumstance he wouldn't have said that yeah but that you only take it at face value and you're like something wrong with me where there's probably 2000 things wrong with his life at that particular point it's causing him to say that shit well so to that point at 7 I was incapable of understanding what was going on yeah and so I'm only going to take it the way it feels at that age and so a part of the healing journey that I do when I take people through processes to heal inner child or heal trauma is I bring them back to that moment allow them to express themselves pick up the pieces and change the meaning that they're giving that situation and so to your point what you just did is actually a part of the healing process is to rewire the story around what one thinks of so my story at one point in my life was my dad doesn't love me he was being mean he was being abusive and he didn't give a shit about me that was a time in my life when that was my story now because I've done the work I have that story where it's like hey he had a lot going on it wasn't personal if my dad had a choice in the matter because my dad wasn't even a choice at the time he was incapable of even doing anything different he would never have wanted to do that and I understand that now and so that's why if you're listening it's so important like everything that's blocking you today from where you want to be in your life has everything to do with situations that you went through as a child and until you go and address it until you go pick up the pieces and make sense of it and rewire the story around it you're going to continue to live based on those limitations you know I would take it even further and say that even as adults we do the exact same thing yeah even as adults we don't consider what the other person is going through right as a child are probably incapable of as adults are probably just naive and selfish um so you build we level up what's the first version of we level up it's really just I'm assuming it's treating somebody who was yourself yeah 10 years ago sure so September 2013 my dad partnered with a guy Kevin Sparks who had like a small outpatient program he was struggling with sales and marketing so I had some experience in sales and marketing I felt like anything was possible and I knew a bunch of people in the industry because of my stepdad my new stepdad Joe that one that helped my mom um so I had a bunch of contacts so we jumped into the business and within a very short amount of time I realized that like this is something that we can do and then I realized that the guy Kevin that I was partnered with was the chokehold and the growth of that business so we bought him out and then we just grew the business from there so that was 2013 we've had a couple different iterations of brands so that was like holistic by the sea and then it became a holistic treatment center and then in 2019 we branded it we level up which is what we call today which kind of ties into like everything that we're doing here with like lifestyle brand teaching purse development teaching professional development high level coaching I'm executive coaching teaching people to build a skill or business teach people to brand teach people to speak from stage it all ties into how I've been able to grow we level up to the company that is today and and when you look at because where you at now you have you crossed a hundred million dollars in top line this year we we should cross a hundred million so that's super impressive um great business uh what differentiates you between people have been doing this for so long in the market that have not hit that level sure so I feel the one of the biggest differentiators in any business is culture is marketing and your ability to produce results for patients and so my industry specifically and and you get that pretty much has overlap with many industries um if you look at like the main pillars that that drive a success of a business it's clearly your marketing your sales the product and and then the culture the people and so my x factor is the ability to understand human behavior understand the psychology of the mind and I've been able to teach and coach and motivate my people to believe more in themselves and they can perform at a higher level so you have a guy that comes in that is hungry that has the desire to learn you can coach that person up to become more valuable and so my belief in what I started to do back in August 2018 when I'm at Tony was like okay if I want to make my company more valuable I need to make my people more valuable and so I have now 600 employees think about this if 600 employees are valued on a scale of one to ten out of five then if I can take those 600 employees and make them a seven my company is naturally going to be more valuable and so my approach is make the people more valuable and your company is going to become more valuable rather than looking at the top line of like I need to make more money I look at the people like how can I make this person more valuable how can I make this person create more impact how can I make this person believe more in himself so he can execute better so he can make better decisions he has more confidence in making decisions and then all of a sudden the byproduct is a more valuable company I love that um I think that compared to like a traditional model where you hire somebody to do the job that they're meant to do and you're upskilling them at a certain skill set that can take them to like the next level so you go from entry-level employee to manager to director to VP you're giving somebody like almost like a 360 upskill so you're like I'm not just gonna teach you to be a better employee and teach you to be a better human better entrepreneur I'm actually curious how this works for your organization because I've seen the type of coaching that you give people your employees and just people that sort of have come to your events and shit and it's I would be not not worried because I'm on the same page as you but somebody listening could be worried like if I if I teach people to get to the next level like Ryan is with my employees how do I know they're not going to go off and start their own business did their own thing and basically leave because you're giving them literally all the skills like you don't really hold anything back yeah when you're teaching so you're teaching like this is how you you know this is mindset this is time management this is energy levels this is how to close your first clients is how to market use like quite literally an employee could start their own business sure in any category forget about competing category any category be successful sure there's so much to unpack there and I think where I'll start is we attract what we are in life and so if I have an abundant mindset so there's two types of mindset there's a lack mindset and abundant mindset if I'm worried about somebody leaving me then I am in a lack mindset and so that will be the inevitable outcome so I got to a place because I have lost people along the way but what I when I lost those people if I look back at where I was on my journey I was worried about losing them and so I realized today that I have to become so valuable come from such an abundant mindset if that they leave me then that was what was meant for me and now they never leave and so the second piece to this is why I think it's so important to scale a business the biggest reason why I think scaling a business is necessary is you need to give people a compelling future scaling it this way yeah with not not milking out every drop of revenue not so the different ways to scale a business or scaling it this way yeah it's going this way with people right like you're building a company based on people and so if I have an employee that comes to me that is a rock star he wants a compelling future yeah so I need to find out what his compelling future looks like and meet his needs but if I'm meeting his needs and he's meeting my needs then we're growing as an organization and so that's when I made the shift and I started to identify other people's needs and start meeting those people's needs because if I'm coming from an abundant mindset I'm not worried about if you're going to leave me because if you're leaving me then cool it was meant for me if you're not leaving me then that's meant for me too but now that I have that mindset nobody leaves and now we have some mega-orbitable is incredible yeah and it's so funny it's like it's not just I also know that you pay your guys like very well you pay them like exceptionally well you're not like um again it's a different mindset for different kind of business for a different kind of business leader but I think the way that you run your business is a way that all businesses will eventually have to be run yeah like I'm a big but we just passed a law about the non-copy did you see that I saw that yeah so it speaks exactly exactly so now if you want to go somewhere else like you can go nobody can nobody can come after by the way those non-copies are already BS it was just scare tactic but um but what I've what I've always believed is I don't I don't I can't at this point in my career do what you do and teach people the way you teach people what I what I do try and do is get into a contract with somebody to say if I hire somebody I want you to give me say let's agree on two years sure two years and I'm going to help you to the best of my ability I'm not going to have the whole mindset uh upskilling that Ryan can have but I'll I know a little bit of shit sure I can help you get to where you want to be and um and we're going to agree that the whole time you're working with me for two years you're not going to be looking for other jobs but at the end of two years I'm going to commit to getting to you to where you are I'm not expecting you to stay longer than that yeah so you can make this agreement where your business your business goals and objectives are aligned with that person's professional goals and objective and it's not it's not like ambiguous anymore it's not like after three years this this this quiet quitting stuff where there may be like interviewing for five jobs a week while still working in your company it's like you don't want that right you don't want that because it hurts the business you're going to be probably a little bit surprised when they leave and then you have to staff up or you have to put their work on someone else sure which is also not great so like it's just about getting aligned and just being real with how people like to work and where they want to go and people don't just want to work in one company for 30 years 100% and and I like what you're saying and and I also have a version of that as well it's it's like putting everything on the table like yes let's talk about let's be mature adults here and but it's the responsibility of the owner or the responsibility of the leader to have those conversations and you mention you know you can't do what I do and it's not intended for you to do that but that's why I believe partnerships are so valuable right like I look for strategic partnerships because there's people that are in my organization that do not what I can't do what I don't want to do right like the work that I've had to go through to get here is a lot somebody else may have taken the path of like marketing for example like yeah they master marketing cool if I wanted to master marketing I could I don't feel like doing it so I'm going to get you to do that and that's why strategic partnerships are so important so like look at Tony Robbins and Dean Gracio see like Tony Robbins is is is a leader he's a transformational speaker he does interventions he can identify pretty much any block and anybody he just want to do with marketing so he brings in the best yeah and that's and that's so important for any business is I mean that's also how you hire not just with partnerships like that's how you hire right like if you're hiring people that he should be always be hiring people that are better at yeah that thing than you are else what are you doing right like if you want to hire a CMO a CRO whatever I find it fuck I can't do finance right yeah it's like I want somebody I know enough about numbers that get me in trouble but Jesus like I'm not sitting here putting pianos together no it's a lot you're not finding me doing that when you when you look at when you look at some of the people that you work with in the in the addiction space what is one thing about addiction that is is just completely incorrect that the outside world who's never dealt with addiction uh assumes of somebody who's had substance abuse problems somebody who goes through a program somebody who's gone through some of the stuff you move through the shame around being an addict is just so strong at times I remember when I first got sober like I hated the fact that I was an alcoholic I was so embarrassed I was so ashamed like I wouldn't tell people about it and so one of the most overrated parts about addiction is like the people that have this disease are some of the most incredible people I've ever met my entire life there's a lot of people that are sober today that are in recovery that haven't made it public that are just incredible humans because there's like this innate desire there's this innate obsession to want to be better it's like once you get sober like the program talks about it's a daily reprieve so like every day when I wake up my practice is like hit my knees pray to God ask God to use me today God let me live your will versus my will and so that is an intention every single day of my life I wake up with the intention to serve God normal people that don't have a 12 step program if you don't have a practice like that you're not intentionally trying to be a better person so like the effort to and the attempt every day ultimately will put you in a position where you are being a better person and so that is something that I feel is just so overlooked because dude the addiction is is cunning and powerful dude and and and behaviors are are displayed at times that are just so disheartening but like I look back and think about some of the things I didn't do to crushed me and so something that I heard that I think is just so powerful and it's it's crazy but you know this this this may be very debatable the person I'm about to share with so I was at Tony Robbins House and and Tucker Carlson came in and I had an opportunity to share with him and one of the things that he said to stuck out to me the most is he said that I would much rather have somebody on my team or in my life that has gone through some heavy shit than to somebody that hasn't because I don't want somebody that's going to say here and tell me I've had this perfect life because one they're probably full of shit to the person that has had some difficulties the person that has adversity and figured out how to get through that developed a level of character that I would want in my life and so when I heard that I was like whoa that's really cool because if I think about it like look at Tony like he's had so much adversity look who he is as a human like look at Nelson Mandela he went to prison for 25 years look at Marlita King like these people had adversity they had to overcome something that was much bigger than them and look who they were because of it so once I thought about that I was like holy crap like now I'm proud to be an I should be I would even take it a step further and I don't know if you'll agree with this or not but if somebody who has like an abuse problem you call it disease is that yeah so if somebody has this disease of like robbing cars to make money to support a habit or there's like always an unhealthy behavior it's very rarely like I have a trust fund I never work and all that happens too but I'm gonna have to hold other conversation yeah if you are so committed to like getting high and you're so committed to like doing this thing I would assume that if you can get through this the mindset of somebody that can be so committed to something would actually make an exceptional entrepreneur because you replace one by first of all everything's a vice church is a vice drug or vice alcohol's a vice women are is a vice gambling everyone has vices whatever I've also heard it referred to like Patrick that David said this how everyone has a god right it's not god it's something else money yeah it could be work too yeah and I think for a lot of entrepreneurs it is worth a lot of entrepreneur and it's it could be good it could be bad it depends how it impacts your life I think that all of us need something to feel and feel like if the world took your business away tomorrow and your and your and your name and your ability to speak and teach you have unlimited money I don't think you'd be happy no you wouldn't I wouldn't be happy either with just unlimited money it'd be fun but like trust you get bored very very very good work yeah so I think that everyone has a vice and if somebody who puts that much energy towards something could pivot that vice to something productive there'd be exceptional because they understand what it is to go all in on something right and almost have blinders on and focus on nothing but the thing that they're working on and I don't know if that if you see that people that go through your program if you look at like their career or like what like truly healed people like are they ruthlessly effective as entrepreneurs as people as individuals once they've gone through all this shit kind of like with Tucker Carlson said not just adversity like just like myopic laser focus on like an end result 100% so true bro and like a lot of the friends that I have today that are like super wealthy super successful are in recovery interesting so it's true that you said that and so often in life people think it's like a knowledge problem and so to your point about people that have vices or that have the level of obsession some of that's obsessed with an outcome they don't have an application problem see most people in life think it's a knowledge problem like oh I need more information if I have more information then I'll know what to do no no it's an application problem like you need to start applying what you already know about the knowledge you have and then all of a sudden the light will illuminate when you go down the path so you'll get more insights more awareness because of the application because of the experience because of the data yeah and so that's what people in recovery like myself do like I just execute like I don't I don't worry about the knowledge because I know like I know at some point I will get to where I need to be based on executing and applying what I already know and I would say the people that wait for too much knowledge they actually end up learning so much at the self sabotage yeah bro like there's some rich people that are not super bright either right right they just they just do it they just execute and I think that you can it's like paralysis by analysis yeah whatever it is I think sometimes the less you know the better for sure dude 100 percent dude perfectionism is the thief of execution there's someone sitting there trying to be perfect trying to be perfect wait for the perfect moment they're gonna be sitting a long time those that get in the game get their hands and feet dirty are the ones that are gonna be successful what is what is one thing about this addiction and recovery process that you wish more people knew I mean I guess what comes to me is is just the sincerity and and the misunderstanding that the stigma that that people have and there's some of the most loving and caring people that I've ever met in my entire life I mean if you think about it right like the only requirement for recovery is it is a desire to stop and so you walk into a room full of people doesn't matter where you've been doesn't matter what you've been through or what you what what you've done they're going to love you unconditionally and so a lot of my healing has come from those rooms because when I walked in broken I walked in ashamed they just looked at me it was like thank you for being here we love you and I'm like what this is crazy I never had somebody say that's it like I just told you I robbed 20 houses and stole this and stole from my grandma there and they're like thank you for sharing I'm like what the fuck I was an asshole like we understand you I'm like thank you oh god man that's when you look back at like I mean you've taken some you've had lessons you've had life lessons you've had lessons from I mean everyone teaches you lessons between your stepdad your mom your dad your second step Tony Robbins like you have some pretty serious people that have taught you lessons in different ways yeah if you look at all the different people that have taught you lessons what has been the one that has stood out that has been the most impactful I would say my dad did because my dad was very very aggressive with me verbally and physically he he had a belief that he needed to prepare me for this world my dad had a story that this is a cruel world it's a difficult world and I need you to be tough and so it brings me back to my literally game it was the all-start game it was the I was a championship game we were the number one team playing the number two team and I had the flu and I didn't want to play and I was fighting with my dad I was crying my mom was fighting with my dad and my dad was so relentless and so like headstrong on the fact that I was gonna play I was a starting short shortstop first lead off batter and it was the final ending we were the home team it was we were it was a tie game two outs I'm up the bat I was throwing up in between innings geez and my dad was not willing to let me sit he was like you're playing and so I bunched the ball down third baseline I I out ran the guy the guy on third scored we won the game and that moment will never ever leave me because my dad taught me one of the most important lessons that I need to learn that I needed to learn that I used today is no matter how difficult it seems no matter how scary it is no matter how overwhelming it is if you show up and you give it everything that you have you will win and so I use that today I mean that's that's like the core of who rise of is because dude there's times in business and you know this bro like I like there's days when I'm like how are we gonna make payroll like I have a million dollar payroll like I need Blue Cross Blue Shield to make a drop or I'm screwed yeah like there's been a lot of those moments dude but like in those moments I have these memories of like I'll get through I'll get through I'll figure this out and dude that has allowed me to just just push through so many limitations you know it's so funny as as a business owner you deal with this shit all the time where like you so you focus on these massive negative things because as humans the negative and prints on our brain much much easier than the positive for sure for sure but then and I'm curious how I'm also just very curious how you found Tony Robbins because I know Tony is all about playing bigger and I think there was like an intervention that he had with you at one point about you're playing too small even though you're building a massive business and his mind is too small so outside of somebody hanging out at Tony's house which is not everybody can do that maybe even speak about what he taught you and and what he sort of opened his eyes to but when somebody's dealing with all the day-to-day BS of a business assuming everything else in their personal life is going fine and with their kids or spells which is also not always the case how do you after you cross at certain threshold where most people do not have experience say you build a 10 million dollar business 50 million dollar business 100 million dollar business not very many people is not many people you can go to say like hey what do I do next right how do you always think bigger think next when every day is like an absolute battle yeah so what I learned through this journey is your level of decision making has everything to do with your belief systems and so whatever I believe I'm going to make decisions based on that belief so if I think I can then I'm gonna make a decision that is gonna emulate that I can do it if I don't think I can then I'm gonna make a decision that emulates that I can't do it and so one of the most important things that Tony taught me is that I am the creator of my life and I know you hear this I know it seems cliche but if you just like really stop for a second and unpack that when I went to Tony August 2018 I got there by my ex-fiance by the way she went to the event at UPW and she's like oh my god you gotta go to Tony so I went to Tony I went to Tony with the idea of like I need to learn more business skills so I want the business mastery then I find out it was a psychology problem and so one of the biggest things that Tony taught me was like Ryan like whatever you want in your life you can have it so you can be the creator so I was like wait a minute like you're telling me anything I want yeah but this point you have a business already I was doing 10 million year in revenue yeah that's what you're selling is not like you're you screwed up as a business owner right you're killing it yeah and so but I needed evidence I just needed evidence to support that belief system see the mind is designed to look for evidence to support your belief system yeah and so if I believe I can't then I'm gonna look for evidence to support that and so going to Tony was like no you can Ryan so that was the evidence that I needed and so somebody at his caliber just telling me like you can do this I was like oh my god I was like holy shit I was so scared but what happened is I collapsed space and time and I became that person just because he believed in me and so I left Tony's July 2020 in the midst of the whole country shutting down watching his business like go to bankrupt overnight I watched him apply everything that he taught me real time and the lesson for me at that time was the playing small was the level of impact that I was creating in the world because I've been through so much I've overcome so much and I'm not teaching and so that's what he was like dude like you're you're the people are starving out there for this and you're not out there teaching this but that's when I change my whole approach to business and that's when I started to identify like I'm in the impact business I'm in the results business I'm not in the making money business I'm in the results business I'm in the impact business I'm in the transformational business if I transform somebody's life long enough and impact somebody's life long enough and provide the solution to somebody's problem long enough eventually the byproduct of that is income that's exactly what's happened for me so like I obsess with how to solve somebody's problem so when somebody comes to my seminar I am literally obsessing figuring out what's going on unconsciously in this person's life that I can give them a shift so that they believe in themselves because that's all it is people that believe in themselves make decisions and take action towards their future self people that don't believe in themselves make decisions and take action that brings them to the part of them that doesn't believe it and so it literally goes down to what you believe as as simple as it may sound and then like when you're going through like an experiential process it's it's real because you can see energetically where people are at do outside of like just words that like unlock this sort of awareness of what you can potentially do tactically maybe it's something you did through recovery I'm curious because it's something that I do is I do this I sort of I keep track of my wins I keep track of the things that have gone right in my life so when that's like when I'm not sitting in a seminar or when I'm not sitting in front of Tony Rob is in that self-doubt like creeps in I remember that I've won 2,000 times that week and like 50 million times over my life so even if I get sued that day or an employee quits that day or I lose that deal I've won x amount of times and that gives me the confidence to sort of like reset and get back on track I'm curious if you do something like similar to that process at all just because I know that no one's perfect so even though you're teaching people up here I can guarantee there's times when people are not in this room when you're sitting in your office you're like what the fuck you're doing yeah that's the actually it's really worth it like exactly 100 percent so how do you I love that strategy dude because like think about like what you just said was that now you have evidence and references where you can go back to yeah look and then it propels you forward no longer emotional it's just logic just logic it's like the date right right 100 percent so yeah I mean I definitely have a version of that and see for me it's like it's not so much what's talked about at the meetings like although that's important the strategy is important it's it's showing up every single week meeting with my team and having those conversations so I actually start off and Tony taught me this we always start off with every single meeting with jackpots wins and celebrations and so we're always conditioned and trained to find what's right in every situation and to celebrate the wins because you can't Tony taught me this you can't build on failure you can only build on success and so the momentum of like yo you just won now what's the next best thing to keep winning because if you're looking at what's wrong now you're always stuck in like what's wrong and what do I do now am I a failure and you say stuck there yeah it's all about motion it's all about momentum yeah and how do you keep that momentum going as you look at my wind going yeah um what do we not talk about today we talked about a lot of stuff I mean I think I think something that's really cool man is like is like how I met you you know yes it's so crazy I think that people overlook like relationships and I think what I've learned from you and you know how nervous I was the first time I met you because I was coming into something that in my mind you've done for like I don't mean when I first met you just so people know like I was doing an event and and you came to spoke at our event yeah and like I've never sold from stage ever like my background is like jump like it's like b2b enterprise software it's like jump on a zoom call and it's I mean I was even more moving sales process in my last time when I did that because I had sales reps the work first you have inside sales rep jump on a zoom call pass it over to an account executive I would get involved like two months later when we sit down with the CEO of the company we're gonna sell to it was not going in front of a room of people that you never heard of or spoken to before and then try and sell something right I like speaking but I like teaching but then it was very uncomfortable for me to like ask people for money from the first time I ever met them yeah standing in front of them it's like stage fright compounded with the posses syndrome compounded with all the other shit yeah anyway you come out and and I'm nervous as hell because I'm like oh god like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing like this and I'm like this guy's been doing for forever and like you're you're a your phenomenal speaker and and I was like he's gonna think I'm an absolute idiot like but he screamed at me think why I didn't one time I didn't think that no I don't one time but that's how that's how that's how powerful your mind yeah that's all I'm thinking the whole time right now we're like friends you know yeah yeah so I thought you crushed it bro I was like wow he's actually really good up there like that's what it got all like I like this it's so a bit also that's another lesson like you always feel like you're worse than you are yeah hundred percent always feel like you're worse than you we always think that we're unqualified but the point is like so I don't know where you had me coming from something that was a totally different industry partnering with somebody who knew this industry I mean even you've been doing it for a while but you're also not Tony Robbins either he's been doing it for I don't I've seen videos of him okay it's like 40 yeah he was like a kid doing this stuff too and he's not young anymore so you partner with somebody that knows this industry well and you like you compliment your skill sets and you compliment what you know what you don't know right yeah yeah that is a cool story yeah and so I think what's interesting is like people like like there's so many like ideas or perceptions around like sales like what sales is and so like my the most some of the most influential years that I had was like doing the commodity stuff because I got knows every single day like 300 knows a day was like people are a cussing I mean stop calling yeah all the different things and what I realized like through all of those calls and through all of the stage opportunities I've had it's all about trust like people just say no because they don't trust you they don't trust that they can do it they don't trust that they're they're gonna be able to follow through a lot of it's like sales is calling people forward calling people to be a better version of themselves and so once I understood that I stopped worrying about if somebody's gonna say yes or no I started worrying about am I building trust in this person's life am I showing this person what's possible am I being the example that they need to see so that they can become a better version because here's the thing about this got right like say you're here's you let's just use the example like I want to become a motivational speaker you have the idea of it and then let's say there's there's this version of yourself that you see in the future and there's a gap in between where you're at and where you want to be as soon as you make the investment you collapse space and time and you become that future version because now you're executing you're taking action and so people overlook how important it is to make investments and so as soon as you make an investment in your future self you automatically condense space and time and now you're that version now you're literally sitting at the doorstep of like okay my new life yeah new version but then obviously there's follow through and you have to be commitment commitment you know committed yeah and stuff but it's it's also like so there's different ways to do this so there's some really stubborn people like even myself for example so I've I've not done things the easiest way my whole career do not like really proud of it's just to some people just like try and figure it out and I think that investing in the right people really fast track shit really really fast track shit and I'm learning that I'm learning that more and more as I get as I get older and wiser that like you don't always have to figure shit out yourself but I mean even even the motivational speaker part so what I should be doing is I should be going to sign up for somebody who teaches like motivational speaking you know what I'm actually doing it's not good advice this is just real advice this is real right I love what I'm actually doing is every time I so I'm speaking tonight at an event and it's like more motivational than educational yeah education like I can do all day because I just talk about the stuff that I do in my day so watch this kind of coach you right now 100% and so so many people um have these these these these identities or these stories and so you're saying it's more motivational than educational so just just shift that story because when you motivate somebody it's all about educating somebody on what they need to do to get to to to a to a future destination right somebody's at a place in their life they're stuck they don't have the information or the experience of somebody that's traveled that path and so a lot of times people misunderstand like motivation is actually educating on educating somebody on something that they don't think that they can do and so you're literally just standing up there and saying like hey I'm the example yeah here's where I was at here's where I went you can do it because I did it that's motivation people don't even understand that so you're just educating somebody on the idea of like hey here's where you are here's where you want to go I did it here's the steps that I took if you do this in your life this could be an example even that frame reduces actually a lot of the a lot of the stress about it yeah that like framing it that way reduces for sure that that's I mean because what I've been doing so far is I've been driving around I've been going to like looking so like it's like a 15 minute talk right and like I know that there's like between here and like the place that I'm driving going to be 15 minutes right and I'll just do the talk and then drive and then I'll go pick something up from like a CVS and I'll like drive 15 more minutes I'll do the talk again dude it's it's the frame it's it's so true it's my training but I mean the point is there's probably a lot more a more efficient way to like do what I'm trying to do which is yeah the strategy but 80% of it is is your psychology just getting there and doing it and then you're gonna have that evidence and then you're gonna have the opportunity to look back and say okay what could I've done what could I have done better yeah and then you'll get that insight and so Tony is actually the master of the pre-frame I mean that skill is just incredible because the mind you know the human mind receives like 1.2 billion bits of information a day and so the mind generalizes deletes into sorts information and when you give people frames it simplifies it it's digestible and so that is like half the battle so when I get up on stage I create frames to show people it's simplified it's like oh okay so like I said like earlier like there's two mindsets there's abundant and there's lack there's things in between of course but if you just digest it from that perspective it's like hey if you have an abundant mindset this is what the outcome is gonna be if you have a lack mindset this is what the outcome is gonna be what do you want to do like oh clearly I want to do a bundle okay great now the mind moves forward and so now you're able to advance somebody based on the frame that you gave them it's they did this study and this is the problem with dating today by the way because social media these dating apps you have too many options yeah and see when the human mind has too many options it stays stuck a confused mind doesn't buy it's the same thing with anything so you want to simplify it they do this study where it's like they they had they had two people one person you got an opportunity to pick like five of your favorite ice cream flavors the person I only had five options pick the their favorite flavor within minutes the person that had 30 options took like quadruple the time and so it's a simple lesson and when you're communicating on stage you want to simplify it so it's digestible so people can make a decision and move forward with improving their life which is it's actually that's just not a sale that's not a stage strategy that's like sales 101 yeah sales 101 like even if you want to I mean even but do you know motivation is selling yeah yeah your information is selling like hey dude do you want to have a better life and outcome right yeah and so everything is selling and so once I started to understand this it was like whoa like I'm not just selling somebody something because I want them to buy it I'm selling somebody something so they can better their life yeah and then it becomes way easier because to equate it to somebody who's selling a product you can't sell a product if you don't believe in it right go try working for a company where you don't believe the product does what it says it does right as a salesperson you know this because you weren't sales person you're you're not gonna last long right or you're gonna feel burnt out you're at like you will physically feel tired dude even when I was doing commodities like I could have 100% gotten sued for a hundred million dollars but there was this internal conflict yeah because I knew what I was doing wasn't aligned with who I really wanted to be so to your point I was selling a product that wasn't benefiting people it was only benefiting me and I struggle with that every single day which is what my fiancee I promised her I'm gonna stop doing this more times I encounter and she got tired of it and she came in one day and was like do I'm done with you like I'm done you got sued like I'm done like I told you we talked about it I'm done I was like what it was yeah yeah yeah and so something that we didn't talk about is I just want to shower you for a minute with just love and appreciation dude like you've been so influential in my life thank you dude for many reasons one like building a brand that is impact driven and and you've actually help my belief system around the quality of the customer that I want to serve because in my mind like I didn't elevate myself to believe that like I could impact people that you're impacting I mean you're you're dealing with entrepreneurs at very high levels half a billion dollar company sold hundred million dollars like I know I'm there but it doesn't feel like it's sometimes that like I'm qualified and just you are you more than are yeah thank you for that and that's what I'm saying so like your support bro has just been it's been huge in my journey man and like I'm so grateful that God put you in my path and like what you're doing is just incredible man and so you know to my point early before we got on set like anything I could do to help you bro and and support your community support you I'm in I appreciate it yeah I appreciate it dude yeah you know you got to recognize what you've built thank that ask thank you but it's very about it's exceptionally bad us it's not easy to build what you've built I mean too it's a hundred million dollar company like I don't see it like oh man yeah no I was the reason I'm sorry that's about dating was I was wondering if if after all this like like improvement it's like changed how you look at relationships because that was the goal that was the goal yeah you can find some find some hot whatever in Miami but I mean like really like have you changed like who your partner is what they what they look for like what you look for like as somebody who's like now you're like all in an entrepreneurship so I mean you don't stop and I'm curious to somebody who is almost married because I you know I'm very blessed because Gina my better half like she also has a business right so we get it like we get it like I've ever been so out of sync where she was upset that I was doing something that was unethical or un moral sure sure but I mean in terms of like time commitment there's not as many hours you can spend time together but we both get it so she's doing everything I'm doing my thing so I'm curious just as like somebody who's you know you you gone through an almost marriage and then it broke up for a couple different reasons but now where you're at in your life what is like the partner that fits somebody who's like a high performing entrepreneur business owner yeah it's so true bro and like definitely my vision of what she looks like has definitely changed yeah over the top over time and I think a lot of the work I've done has has like hindered opportunities because like I have this like obsession to like be better and sometimes it it causes me to be critical yeah and where I may like look at a woman that may not be where they want to be in their journey or we're worth thinking that I could do better and so it's challenging at times right because like sometimes I'm always like damn like can I do better like is this the right one for me and so I just have faith man that like God's going to put her in front of me when the time is right and like I don't think I would have been able to build what I've built impact as many lies as as I've impacted if I was with somebody clearly because I'm not and so for me like number one dude is like somebody that has like an unshakeable belief in God you know somebody that like your wife is like done their own work is doing their own work is on in alignment with their assignment doing their work and then just has an understanding and a compassion for like my work and and and the impact that I want to leave on this earth and so it's challenging bro it's a very unique person bro like like you know hence why we connect because if you think about it like there's not a lot of people out there that are vibrating at our frequency and so it's the same thing with dating like like and maybe I'm just not in the right rooms maybe I think it's tough I thought you know I would never ever like I'll never say you know I would never ever want a different circumstance I'm praying that nothing ever changed with my relationship but I thought like if something did change I don't think it's easy to find somebody that where you connect so easily on so many different levels and that's somebody that you actually want to fight for because again like relationships are not always all positive is sure ton of good but you there's things you disagree on a shit like that but like when the person is down for the mission that you're on and and the mission that you're on like they know from day one the kind of person they're getting you know into this relationship with it's like it's like like fuel on the fire I really believe that because there's been times where shit hasn't gone right and I'm the kind of person that like I overthink everything so I would totally spiral I would totally spiral if I don't have somebody who's like Scott like you know like it's not over like we talked a lot about like you know you know outside in I can put I can put up some motivational quotes and tweets but I'm like and everyone's live there's times when it's really going rough and that's the value there's value all the time but that's like the exceptional value of somebody who's on your team because fuck dude like there's times when it's like tough like I when business hasn't worked out I don't want to be sitting alone dealing with that so I don't know but yeah it's hard to find someone who's like that and I hear this like I hear with Tony I hear with you I mean there's definitely people that I model like what like I model what I want what I have what you have I want to have a Tony and Sage have like and that's exactly what they say they're like like once you find that person that is gonna hold it down with you it just it just makes the journey so much more enjoyable because that's really it like because even Tony's at another level then then then any you know so think about Tony like anybody looks at Tony's like this guy's got his life together but I can guarantee you there's lawsuits there's portfolio companies have been bankrupt like when you play at that level the shit that's flying at you is nonstop yeah a lot of it's not fun so you got to you got to find somebody you got to find a way to overcome that or you got to find somebody who can be a sports system yeah do I hear success is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm or losing your mind and so having somebody that's like loving you and supporting you and that believes in you that has your back I mean dude that would be incredible yeah yeah for sure all right dude all right if you were gonna sort of look back after everything you've done I was gonna say tell your 20 year old self one lesson but maybe go earlier than that tell your 16 year old self one lesson what would that lesson be yeah all the challenges that you're going to go through or what's going to create the man that is going to make massive impacts on the world because I'm a firm believer that you can't teach people what you haven't experienced and so like going through those challenging times are only going to give you an opportunity to teach somebody else that it's going to be okay and you're going to get through it yeah I love it um what do you want people what do you want to leave people with final thought with first of all where can they go to find you yeah so I mean go to my Instagram that's the easiest Ryan dot zofa z oh f a y you can follow me there everything that I do I I pretty much promote it there cool um and so I'd be the easiest way to find me okay you got a book you got a book likely business man yeah you got a book created it took me three years right that book by the way I think books not it's a whole other yeah I want to leave it right now yeah podcasts is like jump on zoom records them bullshit like it's like to us it's a lot of work bro okay so when people people are looking at you they're they can I mean we're sitting in this beautiful new studio that you set up um so there you run events here all the time yeah all that's on your website next events wherever whatever you're working on yeah okay people never green to nothing coming up yet but what's the what's the what Ryan zofa dot com yeah Ryan zofa dot com is my website yeah cool put that in the show notes um last thought to leave people with um september 2023 september 18 2023 I started meditating and I have a missed a day every day I meditate for a minimum of 30 minutes sometimes up to an hour and that process has allowed me to truly fall over myself and now I have a level of self acceptance and self love that I that I've never experienced before and it has just made this journey so much better dude the experience of life is just so much more rewarding fulfilling and so I would say like pick up a meditation practice because you're faced with yourself you're faced with your thoughts yourself and when you sit with yourself that long you only have one thing to do follow yourself and so that has been some of the some of the magic that's happened for me over the past six months when you when you meditate what does that force you to do it force you to be present force you to be present and and your mind is going crazy your thoughts are going crazy and so the idea is what is the issue that it's solving with people in 2024 yeah I mean so many people are reactive and they're in this survival mind yeah and so it forces you to to be calm long enough to where you're the observer of your thoughts you're no longer your thoughts you're the observer of your thoughts so that means you can control your thoughts and once you can control your thoughts then you can control your choices you can control your behaviors you can control your experiences you can control your emotions and so managing your emotions is everything in life and so that has allowed me to manage my emotions and some of the most stressful times and so you only have one option is like I have to be okay with me and you sit there long enough to send power you have to there's no other choice like you can't run you can't avoid you can't escape you're just there you're like okay I guess I better start loving this guy you think many people even know themselves absolutely not dude 95% of what people are doing is unconscious pattern and thought so they're just moving through life and their program they don't even know so slowing down allows you to really see like what's going on and really see all parts of you and then and then the only thing that can happen is there's a moment of grace where you're just like wow like like this is who I am like they say you can't change spots on a leopard I believe that's true I think you can't change the spots on a leopard but once you become once you fall in love with those spots and fall in love with who you are they don't have the impact that they used to have because you have acceptance around it like we're not going to change who we are but we can change our perception of who we are which will change how people experience us I love that okay looking back you know you've had very wild life let's say the least what is a you know going forward what is success mean to you for me today success is impacting more lives you know like I just have this this obsession to want to continue to to master you know human behavior which would ultimately unlock people with where they are on their journey and their path and so the more I can do that the more fulfilling I feel and the more excited I get because I'm developing like deep meaningful relationships that's really cool