Natasha Graziano - Author, Speaker & Podcaster | Be It Until You Become It

Welcome to success story the most useful podcast in the world. I'm your host Scotty Cleary. The success story podcast is part of the HubSpot podcast network as well as the blue wire podcast network. Now the HubSpot podcast network has incredible shows like the Martek podcast hosted by Benjamin Shapiro. The Martek podcast is all about maximum value in 30 minutes or less. The Martek podcast shares stories from world class marketers who use technology to generate growth and achieve business and career success all in your lunch break. If you like any of these topics, you're going to love the Martek podcast. Some of the topics are zeroing in on the ideal product price point, identifying loyalty plays for smart marketers, finding the line between sales and marketing and SaaS, extending the lifetime value of your customer. If these are topics that are interesting to you, go check out the Martek podcast hosted by Ben Shapiro wherever you get your podcast. Today my guest is Natasha Graziano. She is the nation's number one mindset coach and ranked number one female motivational speaker under 40 in the world by Forbes magazine as well as a top female mindset coach by business insider. She is the host of the law of attraction podcasts, which is gained over 100 million views to date and is ranked in the top 10 podcasts to download in 2021 by Influenza magazine. She is the creator of the renowned MBS method meditational behavioral synchronicity, which allows people through ancient breathing techniques, meditation and altered states of consciousness and neuroscience to operate at their highest level. She's gained over 1 billion views and her programs have helped over 1.5 million people transform their lives, making her one of the most respected names in her field internationally. She has been learning and teaching mindset for the last 15 years to all kinds of people in different stages of their life from people that are just starting out to establish entrepreneurs with 9 and 10 figure businesses to a list movie stars in a variety of other people. She has been seen in the New York Times, wealth insider, Mary Claire Harper's bizarre BBC business insider, folk, Forbes and many other top tier publications. So this is the second time factor on my show. We brought her in studio. We spoke about all the things she teaches over through MBS, breathing techniques, meditation, the neuroscience that you have to understand to operate at your highest level to get in the right state of mind for anything you're trying to accomplish. But outside of that, we also went into something that she's done exceptionally well, which is built an enormous social media following. So she has over 10.2 million followers on Instagram and millions on other social platforms. We spoke about her first Instagram post. We spoke about how she turned social media into a business. We spoke about how she find her why and what drives the content she creates. We spoke about her playbook for building a personal brand and then after all that, hopefully you can learn some things that can help you build your own personal brand. You can take the playbook and Tasha deployed and then you can provide a personal brand that will teach people whatever it is your niche or your category or your service or your industry or expertise or your insight is. If you can build the personal brand like Tasha can, you can basically use that for anything unlimited benefits to doing what she's done. So let's jump right into it. This is Natasha Graziano. She is the nation's number one mindset coach, podcast or speaker author. She's done it all. Your first post on Instagram. Yeah. What was it? Oh my god, it was me wearing one of the outfits that I did in the charity shop, I think. I think I may have even deleted it by now. It was me just when I was, yeah, I was taking clothes and wearing them and dressing up and anything that I could find. And that was my, that was my first ever, my first ever post, which is interesting because I bought the clothes at the time from the charity shop. And then when I was homeless, I went back to that same method, but this time I couldn't afford to buy them. I would just wear them in the shop and take pictures with them. And okay, so you did not, this was more just you trying to live a normal life at this point. Oh, yeah, this is no thought of brand building or influencing stuff like that. Oh, no way back. Like it was, yeah, like I've had a couple of Instagram accounts. So this was my first one. Okay. So obviously everybody jumps on the Instagram bandwagon at some point, but not everybody turns it into a business. So you're just posting, when did you actually think, oh my god, I have some momentum here. I can actually turn this into something like, where did you look and see, because I know when I started my show, I was looking at other people that have built audiences and shows. And I'm like, if they can do that, I can do that. So who is that person for you? Oh, I love that. Um, the person that was for me was a fashion influencer. I just looked at her at the time and just thought, if she's earning money, she's a set her mom, she's earning money just from wearing clothes, I can do this too, you know, like I can go and broke some sexy clothes and look cool and throw them on and earn some money and get myself out of the situation. I mean, like that's what I wanted to do. I just, that was all I could think of at the time. It was nothing greater than that. In fact, I didn't have a bigger goal at the time. You ever self conscious putting it out there? Um, yeah, I think everyone's self conscious at points. You know, I felt I felt insecure and I had imposter syndrome and I felt like if I don't, if I don't do this girl, people are going to hate on it or comment on it. Now hates like a part of my story. Like, you know, you sent me out if you don't have haters, then you're not successful. Like, that's a part of your story, but I didn't know that at the time. So I was tiptoeing around putting up a pose and I was scared. I was like, oh, no, if I, if I don't put this up, if I do put this up, somebody's going to write this and you're always self conscious, but it's about overcoming that fear. It's just false evidence appearing real, allowing that say that again, say that again. What is fear is false evidence appearing real. It's not real. It's something that you've built up in the constraints of your own mind. You've built up a wall around you of limitations, which only exist in your own mind. They don't actually exist in your life. They then there's no wall. Look, there's no wall around us right now. Okay, maybe here in the studio, but there's no actual wall saying Natasha, you can't do this or Hannah or Martin, who I was listening, you can't do this. It's just a wall in my mind and you have to overcome that. You have to step back and say, I'm going to break that wall down. You know, hard, that is, you know, hard because ever since a young age, like you put yourself out there, you get bullied, you're different, you're bullied, you're made fun of right. It happens to most people in their life. So to put yourself out, not even in your own friend group or your peer group or your family to put yourself out on social is like incredibly scary. So you started doing this. You had no money. You life kind of sucked at that point for you. And you were just trying to like, put something under the world. I'm sure there was like a little bit of like a, you know, feel good about yourself, put yourself out there. But when did when did it actually start to be something that you actually wanted to double down on when was just like. Okay, I saw an influencer doing it. I'm doing it. I'm mirroring that behavior. When did you see that inflection point where you're like, I'm getting some traction. And now I can build this brand off of this thing that a lot of people just take as a hobby. So this is so interesting that she's got. So what happened was I started to change my captions instead of staying saying something about the brand, like, you know, wearing this today, I would start talking around mindset. I would start talking around techniques and tangible takeaways and quotes from my favorite philosophers. That could help people with their day to day. So the picture became almost a way to lure in the right audience that I wanted. And then the caption was where the magic was that the caption was like the honey and the picture was the bees to the honey. And that was the way that I drew it in because I realized once I started posting about this, the picture started taking off because they were more than just a picture. Sometimes I put a quote on the picture and you know you see a lot of coaches do that, that sort of thing. I do that sort of thing now. And I realized that when you start posting about something greater, something bigger that is offering value to other people. So that was in my caption at the time. People were just loving it and it started to build traction and engagement. And I was like, I'm building a community. And then when I realized I had a community, I was like, great. So I'm actually wanting to really transition who I am and what I am in the world. And then you know, I went through some crazy times in my life. But yeah, a lot of crazy stuff's happened in my life. And so going from being an influencer, you know, who was also dabbling in crazy situations in my life at the time I was a webcam girl, you know, I bloody hell, I got two sex tapes released on me. But all of this shit is just a part of my story. It's a part of my narrative. When all of that happened, I then didn't realize I'm sorry I'm going off an attention. No, I want to just ask, are you happy you went through that? No, I have to say I not in like I loved it at the time. Yeah, yeah. Are you happy as to how who you are coming out of that? You think you would have been the same person or do you think you're stronger because of it? I'm stronger because of it. That that had to happen to me. That had to happen to me. I had I was a drug addict. I was, you know, paying for a drug addiction. And so the only thing I could do to continue this horrendous addiction I had was do something that bought you in fast cash money. And for me at the time that was, you know, doing all that stuff. And my body was exploited, heavily exploited. And the same people that are in charge of human trafficking and terrible, terrible things that happened to girls in the world now are the same people who probably exploited my body back then. And we don't know, you know, who, what, why when? But we just move on from it and know that if I didn't go through that I wouldn't be where I am today now changing lives, saving lives on stage yesterday, saving lives the week before on stage. I wouldn't be who I am today and speaking for women and for men who have been exploited have been sexually abused who have been through anything in their life, even dealing with a narcissist, having been through some way that they've created a skeleton if you want in their closet for themselves and feel like I can't go on because I'm, you know, was such a terrible person. You know, I do not sit and think God, I, that was a terrible, I think it was terrible things that was involved in, but I don't sit for one day and think if that I shouldn't have done it, I needed to go through what I needed to go through to get to where I am now. Success is not success without failure. If I didn't go through the most depressing hard time of my life, then I wouldn't have been hit with homelessness, which was the wake up call to say, honey, stop what you're doing. Stop what you're doing. And then I didn't listen when the universe throws at you physically spiritually, emotionally, financially, mentally in every way. And then the illness hit me and that was the physical pain I went through when I hit that when that hit me, that was the wake up call, that was the final wake up call I needed. And that was in, I had the illness in 2018 and, you know, that was painful. And okay, so you are at an all-time low at this point. Yeah. Of course, that's a wake up call, but it's not easy to just change your life like on a dime like that. Like you have to figure out, you know, okay, so the stuff that I'm doing to make money is not what I want to do in five, ten years from now, like, you know, I want to have a family, I want to, you know, maybe pursue a more traditional way of trying to grow a business and going on a work. Absolutely. So I realized, you know, at the time that bear in mind, I was high most of them. I don't remember half the shit that I did in the webcam. I was high. I couldn't even tell you that you got fucked up so that you didn't have to deal with the reality of what you were experiencing. Earlier, then it was a vicious cycle. Yeah. It was a vicious cycle. So you know, it was just young and dumb. And when you go through that and when you come out the other side, you realize, that's not a way of life. I would never choose to do that now. Of course, this is ten years ago. When I did all the stuff, this was ten years ago. You know, the illness only hit me years later. I'd already stopped all of this stuff. But it was, you know, ten to seven years ago, it was when all this was, it was like 2022, 2023, 2020, sorry, I'm like, back on the wrong day, 2013, 2013, I was like, wait a second, that's the future. Yeah, you know, this is like 2013, 2014, 2015. So we're talking way back. Yeah. Okay. So how did you pick yourself up? What was your point? Like, what did you, what did you find your why? Because I think that that's what drives a lot of people to find their why. Now you have a why that's very impactful. Now you want to change lives. Now I know you have, you have nonprofit ambitions that you want to help people overseas, unless, you know, in countries that are not doing as well as we are here. But when did you find that why? How did you find, how did you find that why? When I, when I felt pregnant, when I got pregnant with my son, he was born in 2016, so in 2015, when I found my why. As soon as I got pregnant, I just went, oh my God, you know, I'd already stopped doing all my crazy shit from the year before that. And like 2014, but 2015 was when it was like, wow, this is a wake up call. This is a massive, massive wake up call for me. And I just ran from it. You know, I just like, I was like, how am I going to be a mom? And then I started getting into a very dark place, you know, the dark place after I gave birth to my son was what led me to being suicidal and then homeless. You know, I'd already stopped all of this stuff way before, but because of this series of events, I left. You saw it fixed yourself hadn't fixed myself in the fear of me up in the shame and the guilt. And if you live with that scarcity mentality, if you live with that thing in your mind, you will end up on the street. If you take yourself from your family, from your friends, you will alienate yourself in your own mind. And that's exactly what I did. So how did that lead me to being who I am today, helping millions of people, being a mindset coach, being in power, being, you know, helping nonprofits, et cetera, and being involved in charity and philanthropy. Because that why of having my child and watching my child alone, watching him and not being able to be there for him and the way I wanted to be at the beginning, not being able to be the most, you know, empowered mother. I wanted to then be a role model to him, but not only to him, I wanted to go on to be a role model to people in the world. I wanted to go on to be a role model to help millions of people, hundreds of millions of people, the same way that I picked myself up the ground. The same way that I took myself when I was on the floor, when I had nothing, when I was broken, when I was suicidal, when I was having anxiety attacks, three a day, if I managed to pick myself up the floor, you can too. And that's why I wanted to show the world. That's why I created my MBS method, my meditational, behavioral synchronicity, which I've been giving away for free for years now. And we have, you know, a membership program, of course, we can get into like a more exclusive version of it, but the MBS method was born out of me, understanding how to meditate and how to take myself away from the craziness of the world and how to go inward, how to go into a higher state of awareness, how to go into my higher mind faculty. The stuff that you were doing to fix and help and heal yourself. Yes. These are the things that now you teach over, which makes a ton of sense. Yes. I want to go into MBS. I don't want to go there just yet. Yeah. What I want to do first is I want to understand your playbook for building your personal brand, because I want to sort of showcase how you use your social. And now that is a kickoff point for launching MBS for writing a book for the speaking engagement you're at last night and all the other ones. So you have a formula that works on Instagram. You, you know, you're building a community on Instagram. When do you start to monetize? And how did you monetize? What's your, what's your strategy for somebody that would want to say, OK, I have my own community. I want to build my own community. She's done it so that now she has 10 million plus followers and obviously the opportunities for her have opened up. Totally. So how do you do that? So you can easily monetize from 10,000 followers. I mean, you can monetize at any point. The thing about it is exactly what you said is about building a community. It's about having people trust you. People look at three things when they come to a brand. Number one, what value are you offering? OK. So what value are you offering? Who are you? What's your story? What's your USP or unique selling point? What are you offering to the world? What content are you posting? What are you putting out there? That's the very first thing that look. The second thing that look at is who you associate it with. So when they come onto your page, they want to see you alongside. You know, you've had Joe Vittali on your, on your show, you've had me on your show, you've had Jack Campbell on your show. Some incredible minds on there, right? I love how I just put myself in that box. But anyway, you've had some amazing, amazing people who chose to work. Somebody comes to your page. They know, oh, I know Dr. Joe Vittali and Jack Campbell from the secret. So I trust them already. So therefore I trust Scott because I'm already seeing people that I trust on your page, right? And that's the same thing with anyone that's listening. Who are you associated with? So who is on your page with you? Who's speaking for you? Who are you showing up with? And that can be testimonials that can be people you're doing zooms with, people you're collaborating with, people promoting your brand. However it is, who is alongside you? And then number three, where have they seen you? Where have they seen you? What publications have they seen you in? Who's speaking about you in the press? Have you been in Forbes? Have you been in Trip Noir? Have you been in business inside? What publications have you been in? What TV shows have you been on? That is what people look at. Those three things. And if you can tick every one of those boxes and you have, it doesn't matter the size of the following. But of course the numbers help and I'll tell you why now. Every time I knocked at a door when I started my career and I didn't have many followers on there, maybe tens of thousands versus hundreds of thousands at the time. I would knock on the door and if I didn't have a blue tick, people are not quick to answer the door because you're just the same as everybody else on the platform. However, if you knock at the door and you have hundreds of thousands, or I am now with millions and millions and millions tens of millions of followers, then you knock at the door and you got a blue tick next to you. It's not knock who's there. Oh, it's you instantly validated social proof. Yeah, yeah. Your validity has gone up. Your credibility has gone up. So anything that comes out your mouth now is already on a pedestal. And on top of that, you then offer value. So you swoop in there with value. So it comes with value mindset, offering value. I was saying somebody earlier when I was on their show, I was saying. If you do something for somebody else and you make them happy first, they will go out of their way to make you happy and return. They go out of their way to do something back for you. That's the law of reciprocity. That's the law of reciprocity. So give first off a value first. And when you knock on that door, give value and say, hi, this is what I can do for you. I've got 10 million followers on my Instagram. I've got five million followers on my TikTok. I've got another million on my YouTube. So, you know, we're adding up and my email database. We're adding up to near 20 million. Let's go. I think I've done my maths wrong. All right. But what's all good? Yeah, just somewhere in the big numbers and calls. So this is what I can do for you. Do you want to do XYZ together? You're offering them monumental numbers. Or let's say you don't have those numbers. You're listening and saying like, I don't have those numbers. What can I do? What can you do? Tell me what can you do? Do you have a great email list? Do you have a linked in platform? Do you have a group of community every Saturday that you host in your local community with 300 people? Any of this is more eyes on you. Any of this is more eyes on them. The eyes on you is the eyes on them. And that is what you offer visibility. You offer something that's adding value to them first before you ask. So I started my career. No, I was going to say that was the good point. And I know that's how you started to grow it. But you're not only offering value to the people that you're doing business with. You're also consistently offering value to the audience and the community. And that's how you build it. That's how they trust you. That's why you have the 10 million followers. And something that you said before even started filming in the other room was really interesting to me. You've never actually filled out a speaker application before. No, I didn't even know what it was. And how many have you done now? Oh, well, in terms of like speaking engagement. Oh, speaking engagement. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. How many are speaking up? Yeah, a lot, a lot. We're not into the hundreds yet. No, but like people come to you. Yeah. So the whole point I'm trying to make is social is social is like the equalizer in terms of a business can go spend money on PR. A business can go sponsor a conference and go get their CEO to speak at a keynote. But what you can do is you can constantly post nonstop on social build a community. And all of a sudden you have the same access to opportunities that somebody who's spending a million, five million, ten million dollars would only have access to. It's hard to get PR for free. It's hard to get speaking engagement for free if you have no audience. Absolutely. The best way they say to sell a book. Yeah, go on stage. Yeah, 100%. The best way to sell your business right now is speak on other people's stages. Right. That's what you've done. Yeah. Okay. So this is how you've built the brand. This is how you've built Natasha Graziano. This is how you now speak globally. But now you can use this. And this is what you're doing now. You're launching a book. And I'm curious. I want to go through topics in the book because to me, this is interesting to me. Everything that you speak about on the social side and on the business side, you know this. It all resonates with me. This is something like I live by. The other side of the things that you speak about to me that's still like it's foreign to me. It doesn't make sense to me. Right. Like I I do. So let's let's talk about the things that you speak about. So you speak about MBS. I don't know jack shit about meditation at all. I know about manifestation, law of attraction. My interpretation of these things because they get a lot of hate too. And there's sort of like two sides to it. You either love law of attraction manifestation or you absolutely hate it. And you're like that's absolutely. Yes. Like I just work hard for whatever I have. So this is my interpretation and how manifestation law of attraction is impacted my life. And I want to understand if this is correct. So when you do when you manifest something in my mind, it means that you're constantly thinking about it constantly sort of already assuming that you have that thing. So that all the actions you take in your day to day are even subconsciously geared towards you trying to get that thing. So that is that to me makes a lot of sense. And that's the way that I've had explained to me by Joe Vitale by Jack Canfield. Like this is the sort of like the scientific way. But you take it a step further because you actually go into the different ways that you think through things. And there's like some neuroscience in there as well. So that I like that a lot because I want to dive into that because I want to I want to get rid of like the whole negative stigma towards law of attraction. Because in my mind all it is is at at its core its goal setting and constantly working towards those goals. And I feel like by making it seem like anything else in that it's almost like confusing and conflating what it actually is. But realistically if you're always thinking about something and it's your top priority. Then everything you're going to do in your life if it's actually that you care about is going to be towards to get closer to that thing. Absolutely. I don't know why that's confusing to people. That just seems like a very basic thing. But I think because they call it law of attraction versus goal setting all of a sudden it's like this like airy fairy, like weird thing that seems like esoteric and not tangible anymore. Absolutely. Okay, so let's go into it. So what are you actually, what are you? Okay, so first, well, do you want to do meditation? Do you want to do like law of attraction? What's the, or did they probably cross over? So what do you teach? What do you teach? So I help people and look there for human potential. I help people understand how to bring the ancient wisdom and the neuroscience together and where they meet. I knock out the skepticism. I knock out the we will. I'm not interested in think positively and it will all appear now. Forget it. That is not what helped me. What helped me was the science unlocking my brain. Our mind are this piece of hardware two million years old is the most incredible piece of hardware that we have in our body. This helps us function and also helps us defunction if we don't use it correctly. Sometimes you've got to unlearn what you know to grow. I'm right here. I'm going to talk through a few pieces if you want. Yeah, I want to. Okay, so I don't know if you want to break it down because you brought actually you're very kind. You brought an early copy. This isn't even printed yet. I think it's going to have some more updates and if you for it actually goes live. But okay, so let's, you can break it down however you want. Amazing. The chat to stop that. I'm like, let's go through the chat. Okay, so unlimited power of the subconscious mind where 98% of your thoughts and actions flow from. And how to rewire your subconscious permanently to create wealth and abundance. So okay, let's talk about thoughts. Let's talk about the things you're thinking on a day today. This to me sounds like your thoughts and your subconscious that they're flowing from somewhere. That means that you're not controlling them. They just seem to be appearing in your head like like I'm sure we have. There's data as to how many thoughts we have during a day and I'm sure a lot of them are not useful. So where did thoughts flow from and then once we understand where thoughts flow from. Positive or negative thoughts. Then how do we actually tap into that so that we can be focused on thinking on the things that we actually want to be thinking about as opposed to things that are stressing us out. Probably drawing and draining a whole bunch of energy out of us. So how do we sort of like, and I've heard also. I think I've heard it called like priming your thoughts is like one way of phrasing it basically making sure that the thoughts that you think are actually your own thoughts versus all the other shit that's like imposing on you. This is an entire book in itself. So I mean, this is amazing. We're just going to. Thoughts flow from your mind. We have neural pathways, right? So neuroscience is something every such for many, many, many years. It's something that we we have in our brain neural pathways. Okay. And that's where our thoughts will start from if we go a little bit deeper. We have a part of our brain called the reticular activating system in the lower part of the brain filters two million bits a day to every second colors and sounds and things you see but not smell as a different part. And what it does is it shows you things that you deem as important. So what do you deem as important. Anything you focus your mind on is what you deem as important. So your particular activating system will show you evidence around you to prove that your belief system of what you think is important is true in people places and events. So if you are thinking thoughts of imposter syndrome negativity, I'm never going to be great. You know, I'm not worthy of love. I'm not worthy of the pay rise. I'm not worthy of having a good podcast. I'm not worthy of, you know, yeah, whatever it might be your brain, your particular activating system to be precise is going to show you evidence to prove that that belief system that you apparently deem is important is real. But actually, if you learn to maneuver that to change it to say, I do believe I'm worthy of the pay raise. I do believe that I'm worthy of love. I do believe that I'm worthy of starting my own business. I do whatever it might be and you believe it at a belief level and it sounds like I am worthy of right. And it starts like that and you start thinking thoughts of worthiness of abundance of wealth of something different, listening to podcasts, reading books, ingesting new knowledge, firing, rewiring your brain. It shows new neural pathways, the synaptic connections change, your particular activating system shows you new evidence around you to show, hey, your new belief system is real. And here's people, opportunities, events and places to show your new belief system is real. So it is up to you. What do you see around you? It's up to you. Do you ever find someone says yellow mini you now see yellow minis everywhere? I was just going to ask if this is what you're talking about. Yes, exactly. Okay, so when you think of a car, you think of a car and you'll see that car everywhere. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly this. If I say, oh my God, I'm on a winning streak right now. All of a sudden you get another phone call and it's another winning streak. And like, I had three things happen. You just say things coming trees, you know, I don't know why it is, but it's a powerful number. Tesla, the Tesla method of any of you know about that is a really powerful method to look into it. That's about three, six, nine, the numbers, but it's incredible because the other day I was feeling amazing and I didn't start my day like that by the way. I started my day in a very bad way. How do you change those thoughts? You shake it off. You go to yoga. You go for a run. You literally physically shake the body. When you shake up the body, the DNA physically moves the cells move the atoms move. We change. Plus there's actual hormone releases that will improve your mood and elevate your mood in your mindset too, right? So if you do like if you physical exercise, like there's serotonin release and whatnot, absolutely. And we can we can channel all of this, you know, our endorphins, our dopamine, serotonin. Is it serotonin? Am I getting the right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, serotonin and melatonin. Yeah, absolutely. And we can we can channel all of this and we can create more of it through exactly what I'm talking about. I'm going to give you one final thing that helps you to your thoughts because let me just preface this. Your thoughts become your feelings. Your feelings become your habits and your habits become you. Your habits become you. Who we are by the age of about 30 years old is just an amalgamation of our habits. You, I, we're just an amalgamation of our habits. What we do, what we do regularly and what we believe and that's who we are. Can you change that? Well, of course you can. Why not? You can become whoever you want to be hence the new book be it until you become it. Become the version of you you want to be before you get there and then surely it will become you. So every day, the first place to start if you want something to take away right now, you want to do this, get a pen and paper and write this down. Write down every single thing that you've done from the morning until the evening. So we're up a time of day or listening to the same keep going and before you go to bed, look back at every single thing you did and you wrote down. I had a coffee for five minutes. You'd write the time. I chatted on the phone to somebody for an hour about bullshit. I mean, it really didn't serve me. But you don't need to write that. You just need to write, you know, wasted an hour on that or phone call with X just whatever it was. And then I spent an hour filming a podcast. I spent an hour sorting out some admin. I spent another hour doing this, doing the gym, whatever it might be the end of the day, you have to go through that list. And you marked out of 10 and just mark it up. So you had your coffee with that served you. That was a nine out of 10. Great. You have that chat with your friend and that really that was a derogatory call. In fact, it was undermining somebody else. It was really negative, really putting more hate out in the world. That's not what I've done. I'm just saying other people have maybe done this today and believe me, I once did all of this stuff. Yeah, absolutely. And so that served you at like a two out of 10. And then you carry on running down out of 10. Now, why must you write down a 10? Because anything that is under an eight out of 10 is something you want to root out of your garden. You want to uproot it. Get it out of your garden. It's a motherfucking weed. Get the weed out of your garden. All the weeds of my mind led me to doing shit that I regressed up that I wish I'd never done. But it's a part of who you are. Your past does not define you. It is just a part of who you are. So habits define you because that is who you are right now. So change them if you want to appear different in the world. If you want to be a different person, if you want to be successful, if you want to get out of being broke, you want to stop making the same mistakes that you're making every day and whatever field you're doing, change your habits. Change at a root level. And that's your habits, that's your thoughts. And that is the law of attraction. I love that. That's a great definition. Thank you. I take the woo wow. It's just real. Yeah. Yeah. No, you get rid of the bullshit because that everybody, you know, if you're talking about different books and things that people subscribe to, like, like atomic habits, for example, like how big is that? Yeah. But like, that's the, that's the end result. So you have to go a couple steps back if you want to actually actually the habits are great. Yeah. But they're not going to turn into habits unless you get the mindset right first. Absolutely. I just want to take a second and thank the sponsor of today's episode HubSpot. Now if you're tired of slowing down your teams with clunky software, processes and marketing that's difficult to scale, HubSpot is here to help you and your business grow better. With collaboration tools and built in SEO optimizations, HubSpot CRM platforms tailor made to help you scale your marketing with ease. Integrated calendars, tasks and commenting help hybrid teams stay connected while automated SEO recommendations intuitively optimize your web page content for increased organic traffic. Ditch the difficult and dial up your marketing with tools that are easy to use and easy to scale learn how your business can grow better at HubSpot.com. Okay. What are we? Okay. So what other things are really important here? So chapter two is letting go to grow. So why do you place an emphasis on forgiveness? Why is that a big deal? I love that you brought that one up. Forgiveness Scott is one of the most powerful things we'll ever do. In fact, if you want to talk about thoughts, thoughts have a frequency. That's a fact, right? Thoughts have a frequency. Every thought you have has a frequency. And you mentioned before about positive and negative thoughts. So no matter whether you're having a super positive thought or a super negative thought, whichever one you're having, it's going to bring what you want to fruition. So if it's super negative and it's like, I'm not worthy. I'm so I'm a loser. I'm an idiot. I've dropped my keys. You idiot. We always say that as a common one. We say you idiot when you drop something when you break something when you forget something. Oh, you idiot. You loser. The common words that we say to ourselves. And so my point of mentioning this is no matter whether it's super negative or super positive, you will bring what you want to fruition. So be careful where you're placing your thoughts and your time because the mind goes where energy flows. Your thoughts become your things. These are all just well known quotes. So why is forgiveness important? The first thing you got to recognize you to forgive yourself. The first thing you need to recognize is forgiveness has a super powerful frequency. It's like gratitude. It has a super powerful frequency. If I tell you say thank you right now. So say thank you. Thank you. And just keep saying it. Thank you. Smiling feeling good. Eventually if you say thank you, you can't be angry when you're in a state of gratitude. It is impossible to be angry when you are in a state of gratitude. When you are in a forgiving place as well, it's impossible to be angry and carry hate with you. If you want to invert a comment manifest something into your life, I call it attract goals into your life faster. You've got to first remove the blockages. How are you going to build a house if there's already a shit house on the floor there already. You need to wipe out that foundation and build a solid stone foundation that you can put your new home on to correct. This is you. You need to remove the blockages inside of you and that starts with forgiveness. How do you do that? How do you? So the concept makes sense. What do you do to forgive yourself to remove those blockages in your life? Because that's an easier thing to say than actually do because the knee jerk reaction when you screw something up is going to hate on yourself always. So what do you do? So this is where my MBS comes in. So you can use, you know, many different forms of going into a deeper state of consciousness, which means not just doing it in the beta state where we are now. Wait, pause. What's that? Okay, so the different brain waves. You got, you know, beta and when you go deeper into alpha and theta and delta when you're asleep, what am I? What am I in right now beta? Usually. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I think I'm normal right now. We're sitting here and we're in beta and how it works is we're at a faster pace brain wave. And on EEG scans, you can measure these brain waves. It's called cilantro and syphonography. If I've said it right. And you can measure these brain waves when you're in an altered state of awareness, which is the alpha or the theta delta, you can, your brain waves are much slower, which means your mind, your brain is more impressionable. And that's where you can rewire the brain. So you don't want to try and just say, okay, that's it. I'm going to move, remove the blockages. They're gone because A, you probably don't mean it, but B, when you do it in an altered, calmest state of mind. As I said before, you're more impressionable. You can feed new thoughts and you can rewire the brain. You can create new synaptic connections, strengthen neural pathways, strengthen the connections in the brain that you want to connect to rebuild a version of you. You know, they do it with patients who are coming back from, you know, seizures and things. I'm assuming like to artificially change the brain waves. I'm sure there's a lot of this. Sometimes it's drug-induced like I'm assuming that if you're taking like some sort of drugs like that can actually change your brain waves as well. I guess I don't touch in that. I'm assuming like, but what I wanted to point out is like meditation at his core is doing it naturally. Absolutely. There you go. So you can use, you know, Iowaska or crazy things like this and some people do that. So that's the same thing that you're doing naturally, but that's really what's happening. Totally. You change your state of reality. Totally. And sorry, I say crazy. It's not crazy. You can, it's just different. You're average person would probably say like, oh, I don't want to touch that. I personally never done it. But I know a lot of people that haven't had successful journeys on it. That's a whole set for topic. But for me, you can go deeper and it's not just for me. It's for millions, hundreds of millions and billions of people meditating all over planet Earth right now. That's why I created my MBS method. So the MBS method incorporates ancient breathing techniques with modern day neuroscience going deeper into all to states for awareness and anchoring in a new belief once you're in that ultra calm state. Let's phrase it like that when your power sympathetic nervous system has kicked in right over the state that we're in right now. And you let it take over and your sympathetic nervous system. And it takes over and it takes you into a deeper state where you're more impressionable where you can now say, okay, release the things that have gone wrong for me. By the way, trauma isn't always something major. It doesn't have to be like I went through when I was sexually abused. My body was exploited. You know, it doesn't have to be that doesn't have to be like what happened when I was homeless and have to be major traumas that led me to that. It could be as small as somebody told you they didn't like you at school. Your teacher told you were never good enough. You were never going to be a who you are today. In fact, most of the people who are told that are now huge superstars and are super super successful individuals. And that's how they've used that trauma to become their cure and as room the 16th century poet once said, let your pain be your cure. You have to let your adversity be your cure and forgiveness is the first place to do it. So in the MBS method, when you go deeper, we remove in this 15 minute or half an hour meditation. If you want, if you want to call it that while you're in that altered state, you can remove the limiting belief inside of you that is blocking you from actually getting out there and being the version of you, you're born to be the version of you, you are destined to become. And so it's a very simple process and it starts with breathing because a lot of people like me, I had ADHD and I couldn't meditate very well. I can't meditate what even is meditation. There's the version of meditation that I teach is no dog, no religion. In fact, to most meditation, there is none of that. It's just about connecting with yourself, forget even higher self, just connecting inward, looking within yourself, being calm and in that calm state, being more rational. So once you actually achieve this state, so you're going through this process, you're going through a 15 or 30 minute meditation exercise and you start to change the state that you're actually in and you probably are achieving some of that altering from beta to other types of states of consciousness. Then is the exercise that you do and what you teach over to remove some of these beliefs, is that built into the actual meditation or is that an extra step that you have to type like if I'm going through the meditation right now, what do I have to do to make sure that actually accomplish that if somebody's listening to your meditation, what do they have to do to actually achieve that? You'll naturally go into that state of flow, you'll naturally go into that alter state of awareness, just because of the breathing exercise at the start, that's the difference. So the aim with meditation is to go into that altered state into that alpha or the theta brain wave state, that's where you want to get to, but this is why I created the MBS because it incorporates ancient breathing pranayama breathing exercise before you do the deep guided work on your mind. So you're already at a very relaxed state because you've been doing this special form of breathing where you're essentially improving the, these are facts of science around breathing exercises improves your blood circulation, it brings fresh oxygen to your body improves your immunity. It brings more oxygen to your brain, the checklist is incredible of what breathing exercises categorically do. So now I incorporated ancient breathing techniques, which have been around for years, those breathing techniques into my MBS method. And then when you do it, that's part of it, you're already very calm. So now when you do a deep guided meditation like a self hypnosis, you're feeling so calm and relaxed, you're in a deeper state naturally. And if you don't find you are, most people, I mean, I find it's a, you know, a very, very, very high percentage of people sort of 98% of people who will have a very, very, very productive experience from it. I'm maybe even higher, maybe even 99%. And what is that? So when they come out of the meditation, what is the thing that people would generally feel so calm, so relaxed and free of whatever they let go of? Most people are very emotional when they do the MBS. Most people cry for the majority of the 15, 20, 30 minute exercise. It's a very, very, very deep exercise. And you connect with what we call the inner child. The inner child is just you as a seven year old as a sexual five year old imagining yourself. And when you visualize and see your younger five year old self in front of you, it's very hard not to say sorry to them for the pain you've caused them or forgive yourself for what you've put yourself through and looking at that young child, it almost you feel like it is your child. And it's a very, very, very emotional process. And that's how we start to remove the limiting beliefs that are blocking us. And this seems like a super intense process to go through this. So if somebody wanted to start to include a meditation, a meditation regimen into their life, is this something you would do every morning? Absolutely, because you don't even know like you're crying through it. Through some parts, but now it's like super stressed. No, so there's MBS for in a child work, which I'm talking about now. Okay. Yes, for removing something like that you really want to get rid of. And then there's MBS for brain focus, a lunchtime MBS for productivity. And of course, you're not going to sit and cry. I don't want to do this at work. And I'm like, balling my eyes. Yeah. No, you're probably not going to cry during the one for brain focus. There's one on YouTube right now. And it's, you know, we give it to loads of teams. I give it to so many of my corporates that I speak at this helps you with your brain productivity and focus and rejuvenation suddenly in the middle of your lunch break. Like you just need 15 minute 20 minutes. Boom. Do this exercise. You're probably not going to start crying, but you probably are going to go back feeling rejuvenated and energized. Okay, good. Okay. That makes sense. Okay. So no, I just wanted to make sure because I've never I've personally have not done a lot of meditation. I think something that I want to try more of and I just want to understand how best to like incorporate in my life. And sort of I just act as like the layman. Like for somebody else who there's probably a lot of people that listen to this that have done a lot of meditation in their life. But how do you like how do you get started? And I guess that's sort of the questions like what's the best way to get started to like dip your toe in. So I don't know if tomorrow I'd want to be crying looking at my inner child. That seems like incredibly scared. So do an MBS or it doesn't even have to be MBS do an NLP or do that's quite deep as well. But you could do just a normal guided meditation. You can go on an app like, you know, yeah, whatever you're on. And then New York's when you work with when you work with MBS somebody works in MBS. Like you have a meditation that is specifically targeted for particular. Absolutely weight loss anxiety achieving a particular goal in your company creating more productivity in your team that you get your team to do. I mean, it really is powerful for every single thing. Why? Because there are specific breathing exercises that connect to a particular desire. So if you do a particular form of breathing with a particular style of meditation, you will be able to achieve your goal faster because you've already gone into the altered state of consciousness naturally. Which by the way, just feels super relaxed. Like we talk about it as like this bougie word. It just means when you're no drugs, just high on your own supply on your own breath. You're just super relaxed and chilled. Okay, last thing I want to talk to you about because I love this topic and it's the last chapter in the book. So obviously it's important to you. So it's abundance. So what does abundance mean? What does abundance mean to you? And how do you how do you incorporate into your life? And why is it so important? Okay, abundance is everything. Abundance is living with everything you desire in every area. It means having and being and doing all you were destined to be and being that version of you. It means having as much money as you want, living abundantly right, living abundantly financially would mean having as much money as you want or at least a lot of it. It just means a lot basically, right? What do you want a lot of more happiness, more success, more health? Those are the three common things my clients will tell me. Living in that state, can you imagine how good that would feel? So if I could tell you right now, here's the answer to living an abundant life, would you take it? 100% of course the MBS is I believe the root to that understanding your mindset towards I also think it's important like when you're trying to achieve a mindset of abundance that you realize that it's not all focused on you. So when I think about how I spend money, how I help people, how I raise people up, I have always found that it's like I'm looking at everyone else in my circle. And if I can live a mindset abundance like towards them, then everything always comes back to me. So like in how I help people and how I give absolutely, yeah, that's yeah, sort of the spoke yeah, so that's how I look at abundance mindset. You got it, that's it, the more you give, the more you receive, the more you put out there in the world, I'll put it like this is a really good example. Okay, if you are waiting to give to charity until you have millions in the bank, why wait? Start now, be giving right now. And guess what happens when you're giving right now, the world in time will get back to you. The world will give you more of what you want as you give. You know, don't wait till you have a hundred million in the bank to give a million to charity. Let's start giving now, the little you do have when I was homeless and had nothing I would still give the dollars at the time is pounds, giving the pounds I did have to people who also needed it. Give, give, give, give, give in every way and that is living a life of abundance because you are feeling like a giving person you take out jealousy pride and ego take out jealousy pride and the word take all of these out of your mindset out of your psyche out of you. And then those things that the most destroying things you'll ever have take them out guess what you're now free you're a forgiving person you're living happily you're giving you've got no ego you're just giving giving giving and now you're living a life abundantly and guess what the life around you looks a little different. 100% okay last thing I wanted to do I always like to do like a couple of rapid fire to close these out yeah but before we pivot where's this book going to be sold when when is it actually going live like all the all the and where do people connect you to amazing. So be it till you become it is out on the second of August and you'll be able to buy any bookstores to just go online and anywhere that you buy a book just grab it online. Barnes and Noble and all the above I'm sure I'll be on the list there have a look and see we'll put a link below right yeah sure so you guys can do it and make sure you get your you know get your copy and if you enjoy it I always say to people buy a book for a friend it's a great gift. It doesn't have to be mine it can be it can be whoever's but I think when you buy a book for yourself and you buy one for somebody else you guys have so many notes I do it with friends of mine so I'll be like let's go through this at the same time and then by the time we finish it let's go through it and let's go to our notes on what we learned and it's phenomenal because you find they read things you didn't and then you're revising through going through it it's a really great way it's almost like forming a book club so you know get one for yourself get one for your family enjoy it and if there's a part in the book that you love tag me tag me on Instagram. It'll be my pleasure to repost that out to my you know big audience and like you know just personally say thank you to you I love to be in touch with everybody and if you have a question do you have me about it you know ask the question I'd love to answer your question about be it till you become it and just quickly for anyone that wants to understand what be it till you become it really means you know growing up I I used to hate the words fake it till you make it I used to hate it I still do and the way I decided to do it. The maneuver around that was sort of about faking it you don't need to fake anything forget the word fake it till you but fake it till you make it be it until you become it become the version of you really authentically that you want to become before you get there in your mind and your heart and your soul and your business and the way that you show up to your friends your family your podcast your building of your business every day become the version of you that you want to become before you get there and there is so much around neuroscience in the books we really dive into how to become it by the end of the book you're already there for sure. Good okay let's do a couple of rapid fire so I already asked these questions that I had you on the show twice now but I'll go through them again because I want to see if your answers change too okay so what was the biggest challenge that you've had in your life had you overcome it. Biggest challenge of my life was when I was in a dark place and a drug addict when I was when I was addicted to drugs when I was in an industry I hated and it was just a rapid circle you know feeding each other the drugs were feeding the career and the career was feeding the drugs and it was it was a bad career all you know that I didn't enjoy and you know I own that and I stand up to it because that without that challenge of doing webcam being a webcam going having two sex types put out on me without that. I would not be who I am today I would not be the woman I am today because my past does not define me your past does not define you your past does not define you nobody's past defines you it is just a part of who you are. What was the thing that you failed at in your life and how did you get through that point. I failed at business multiple times before I built my empire my company I failed at business so many times I have I still have villas that I own around the world and the first one failed so badly I had you know I spent three years trying to get guests to stay in it and it just like it wasn't taking off it was costing me a fortune so I just didn't do the research I've never even been to Morocco when I bought my villa I'd never even been there and I still have it and I love it's now I just like it's so bad. I love it's now I just like it's a joke now at this point. Did you ever figure it out? Yes now it's a hotel it's what you call a re-ad so it's beautiful but I have to go through failures of years of like this is the worst investment of my life I've lost $800,000 on this freaking thing like it was a bad bad like scenario for me at the time. Who is one person who's had the most impact on your life? You know I would have to say probably John Astorath he's a really close friend of mine he was best man at my wedding my husband. John Astorath was that your wedding? Yeah you won Clubhouse. I didn't oh I didn't realize that. Yeah that was before I knew you. Oh my god no way. So I knew the Clubhouse what I didn't know that he was part of that. I sat him on my self-care. I was right here ago. Yeah I was just saying his half was the way to his house and Sunday I go. I saw yeah yeah. Him and his life is beautiful. He's been a massive impact in my life. He's been a huge impact. He's friend who doesn't know he's one of the authors in the secret the book the secret which inspired my whole life 16 years ago. That was a big thing and I didn't know that him from afar being my mentor would leave me to where I am today. But him being in the book and speaking his knowledge and his truth and everything that he's created and how to create a better life. Having a coach in your corner is everything. Having that one person behind you is everything and you know it's incredible because I manifested him into my life as a friend and we now work together. I'm one of the coaches in one of his programs and yeah we do some amazing things so he's definitely been a huge part of my journey. What has been a book or a podcast that you've consumed lately that's had a major impact on your life? A book that has had a massive impact I have to say is The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace D Wattles. That is an old book and it is absolutely remarkable for anybody who really is skeptical around the law of attraction or skeptical around anything around achieving things through like Wi-Fi. You can't see Wi-Fi. So it helps you understand what Wi-Fi is just in this modern day world. But really it helps you achieve your goals faster and understand how to get past your own barriers of your mind. If you could tell your 20 year old self one thing what would it be? It's all going to be okay and don't worry. Just have pure tenacity, pure ambition and be kind and courageous. Last question. What does success mean to you? Success is a reaction to your action. Success is not success without failure. Amen.