Liquidity & Liquor #4 - Chris Lee | How to Transform Your Life

Welcome to success story the most useful podcasts in the world. I'm your host Scott D. Cleary the success story podcast is part of the HubSpot podcast network The HubSpot podcast network has other great podcasts like marketing made simple hosted by dr. J. J. Peterson Marketing made simple brings you practical tips to make your marketing easy and more importantly make it work now If any of these topics out interesting to you, you're going to love his show How to write and deliver captivating speeches how to market yourself into a new job how design can help and potentially hurt your Revenue and how to create a social media ad strategy that works if these topics hit home and there are things that you want to learn about Go listen to marketing made simple wherever you get your podcasts Today you're going to hear an episode of my new podcast liquidity and liquor. I co-host liquidity and liquor with Josef Martin a serial entrepreneur who sold his last company boxy charm for over 500 million dollars on liquidity and liquor We have conversations about business money and life with some of the most interesting people in the world You can download and subscribe to liquidity and liquor on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts I think the best person to present creases crease but I will say that crease is known to be one of the best Life coach he works with many Known individuals in the business world and also a Flutter inspirational people like Louis house, so on. I think then there are two books that you wrote, right? Yes, or two books and you're pretty much speaking anything that's matter every Conference related to business money conferences around motivation. You're going to be there You're always going to be the main guest and we're honored to have you over here, so thank you for coming I think it's good if you tell a little bit about yourself Well, first of all, it's a blessing to be here every opportunity I have to make a difference and to share wisdom Because I believe that wisdom is to be shared. It's not mine. So I'm just sharing with what was given to me and I'm paying it forward And so to be able to be part of this platform is amazing and I'm 57 years old and look 27 and feel 27 and You know 34 years. I'm from San Juan, Puerto Rico. So I'm bodicua and Latinos listening. Yeah, but I'm a I'm a Jew Russian Jew immigrant to Puerto Rico. It's a it's a crazy mix That my family is Russian Jewish and I was born in New York and Long Island and then from Long Island We moved to Puerto Rico when I was a year In Puerto Rico when I was six my dad gets arrested get sent to jail and he never comes back So there we are with my mom five kids in a you know house that we had to give up and move from a mansion What appeared to be a mansion right to a three-room apartment with five kids and my mom's to be in the couch So talk about Jurassic change at six years old and I grew up in Puerto Rico and Puerto Rico opened, you know, it's arms to my family and really took us in and took care of us And then when I was 10 my mom remarried and then removed to the suburbs and then went to all the American schools But it was when I was 22 that I participated in a transformational seminar Where I was able to learn the tools of emotional intelligence and mindfulness and I decided to That I found my calling my purpose which is to share Tools and to use my energy and my life and my pain and turn it into purpose to make a difference And that has brought me all over the world that has allowed me to do the work that I've been doing for 34 years And I feel I feel blessed. I feel like I'm a participant of my life and a witness of my life Because I know that my life really isn't mine. It's I'm here for a moment And I think we're all here for a moment and what we do with that moment is up to us So yes, I love to transform people's lives, but also I love the party on yachts So that's how we met that's what we met I have a question. What was the thing like way back in your 20s when you went to this first Transformational seminar that made you that resonated with you so much that made you want to commit your life to that Well, I it was I was studying psychology and communications I have a degree in speech communications from Northeastern University in Boston and while I was in college There was in one of my psychology classes There was a group of people going to this workshop and it inspired me to go and so it was in the workshop that I learned something that was just Mind-blowing which was I don't need to be defined by my circumstances or my past That I could create my own definitions Because I was born into a box called I'm a boy and my name is this and this is the religion and this is the culture and the all these labels And then growing up I had more labels thrown at me because I was bullied right and I think a lot of us have been either Bully or the bullied and so I was bullied and then became the bully So I was reminded I thought that how I was destined to live my entire life being who I've always been and in this workshop I learned that an important quote which is In the moment I interpret I become that interpretation So what I interpret myself is stupid or I interpret myself as lazy or I interpret myself As disgusting or in all the negative stuff that we place on ourselves You become that And I learned that responsibility the true definition of responsibility Isn't the tagline bumper sticker of it's to be it's up to me. We already knew that But responsibility means I have the power to interpret myself and the world however I choose And that led to me reading about Victor Frankl and Victor Frankl wrote a book called Man Search for Meaning He was a Jewish doctor who was taken into a concentration camp Everything he owned seized Family murdered and it was in a concentration camp that he found freedom And one of his quotes that has become something that I've lived my life from the moment that I learned about it Is between stimulus and response lies your destiny And we don't have control over a lot of the stimulus like when I look at my past and my dad leaving and bullied and abused and all the stuff that happened all that stimulus But my response to all of that is what's determined my joy or my misery And so that's what happened for me in the workshop and that led to wow I want other I mean people need to hear this That's powerful. Yeah, very powerful. I mean think about Will Smith right between stimulus and response lies destiny So stimulus chris rock saying your wife tata tata Response will Smith jumping on the biggest stage in the world and slapping this shit at a chris rock Outcome it completely sabotage will Smith's entire career and all the good had been he had done And so my point here is we are all and we've all been will Smith Where we where we lose it Someone does something and we think okay, well, that's the reason why I'm gonna you know react cause effect And it's not always it's not always an aggressive reaction either it could be your depressed you give up on something You you break up with somebody you kill a business idea because of all these external things you quit your bail You leave a friendship you move from a country in other words you make decisions that are fear based And when you make decisions that are fear based and that's the outcome that you're gonna have and so I learned to take to pause So when something happens like you know somebody cuts me off let's me the bird I take a breath and I go okay What's the response I'm gonna give this that lines up with my purpose which is love and I think that that's all of our purposes on earth is to Live from a loving place and create love and give love and and be unconditionally loving And a lot of people might be thinking wow what does love have to do with business everything if you show up loving and kind and generous in your business And you are interested in your client and seeing how you could serve the client That client's gonna go with you versus someone who just has a great product and as a jerk I think when it comes down to business it's it's a own point what you just said I think in order for you to and you mentioned You have to be able to be a cell person you have to sell your product If you're a CEO and if you love your product if you believe in your product first You have to believe yourself that that product is good Entrepreneurs are optimists by default and that needs to resonate first on their employees Then goes to the consumer that those are the three steps and you have to love what you do If you love what you do then you actually tell him look this is the journey we're taking I love what I'm doing you We give them that motivation and everyone goes together you're using that path that you Pay for them, but you have to believe that this is the path and then not just about the product So love is everything you have to wake up on Monday And this is the best day of the week not Friday and it's all about that Well, that's the and that's the second thing and so responsibility is the first thing that led me to The career that I have is taking responsibility for my energy and my joy and my love in my heart and for choosing Empowering interpretations Victor Frankl found freedom in a concentration camp. That's an insane story I know that's yeah, I mean it's insane. It's beautiful. It's beautiful It's it's like to and for those of you who don't know who Victor Frankl is or was um was actually He he is the author and the founder of local therapy, which is the therapy of interpretations is choosing empowering interpretations Cause effect, you know, I could I have the choice over how to respond to things that happen And it's I don't know if you've all seen the movie life is beautiful. I didn't want to start the Yeah, well, I I understand as but it's actually a beautiful movie and Basically, he inspired his son To see everything like a game and to see everything in a positive light and so at the end of the you know I'm not gonna give the movie away, but it's a beautiful ending But anyway, it comes down in interpretation and the second thing is gratitude I learned about gratitude and I used to be the most and a lot of us are this way the most grateful person in the world like life owed me something and I showed up in the world like you owe me and I was wronged and when I shifted this negativity into gratitude And realizing that I am I'm a billionaire already because I'm breathing and I'm alive and I'm awake And like you just said I wake up every day the first thing I do is I go thank you God for giving me a new day and I am so grateful And I see life through gratitude and of course when you're grateful in the universe The universe gives you more to be grateful for So Chris when you talk to founders And coach many of them Is there kind of like Transformation that you see you say well that person I can see it right away where he's he's he's gonna make it or not if you go to smaller companies Right the ones that are kind of like early stages. There's something that identified the one that's exceed that makes it versus the ones that you don't see it in them well As a coach and someone who steps into your universe I bring the tools that I've been using for so many years to read people So I'm able to read people like I could I read people and I see people Right away And I don't look at it like whether they're gonna make it or not. I look at it With from the from the business standpoint of what are the assets? What are the liabilities? And are there people with more liabilities and others? Absolutely Are there people with more assets than others? Yes But the what determines whether someone's gonna make it or not is a how committed they are to confronting their liabilities How committed they are to developing their assets? How coachable they are What are the worst liabilities you've seen in the person being right That's that's the deadliest one Being right because when you're right, there's no growth When you're right, it's you're you're saying That the way you see it is the way it is black yourself for Information no, and then someone I mean we see it in our leaders I mean the downfall of the biggest leaders in the world is being right and And you know being right about my point of view being right about my way and some people show arrogant That even though they know they that they're wrong, they'll still go down with the ship that they're right I want to ask you because I'm gonna play devil's advocate. I don't disappear with you But I want to I want to look at it from the lens of a founder Who has to have the courage to even take the first step so you have to have a little bit of arrogance when you build something for yourself Not complete arrogance, but I mean it's you can't be thinking like I don't know anything because I feel like you'll always be No, but don't don't don't hit don't hear that you need to say you're wrong What I'm saying is yes Of course you got to stand on your confidence. Of course you got to be an act in you know what if you're If you're providing a service or you're providing a product You got it like you just said earlier. You got to believe in it. You got to be all in on it You got to be a hundred percent committed to it What I'm saying is that if you're the captain of the ship And you're navigating that ship and you don't want to hear anybody else's input You're gonna drive that ship right into the iceberg and it's gonna sink So some people Take the their confidence A little too far understand those are those are I guess the one that are looking for yes people that always praise him Yeah, we're 100 percent that's never gonna be useful and start Looking for someone to give them real leverage where they ask them hey, what do you think about this if you keep telling you I'm right. I'm right. I'm right. I'm not interested. I need you to give me some different perspective Not only that but when it people that want to be right even when they get overwhelming feedback that they're not they ignore it And so these are people that you know surround them it's like an artist who Hit their performance sucks like I've worked with a lot of famous artists who I had to be the bearer of bad news Where I'm in the Concert and I'm right my favorite place in the concert just so you know the best place to see everything is where the lights are Right the lighting boot lighting move. It's smack right, you know further up from the center center stage And so you see the whole thing And so I'm watching the concert from the performers point of view from the person who bought the tickets point of view to the other performers to the message the energy And these artists are surrounded a lot of them are surrounded by people that are like oh my god You killed it you crushed it. You're amazing. You're the best and meanwhile they made maybe 25 different mistakes that Is detrimental to what they're up to And so I've worked with artists who were like oh my god. Yeah, bring it on I bring it on bring to feedback on I'm I have a pen and paper. Let's go and I've had artists being salted and how dare you and I'm so and so and look Being right only limits you because Where does being right come from it comes from you optimize everything everything was working right And that means you can optimize it anymore. You can't do any better than what it is you are eating the ceiling Yes, and I and look I it's I'll give you myself an example I'm an expert what I do. I know what I do But I'm I'm so open to feedback and I'm so open to and I'll hear feedback from people that that you know Like even from a 12-year-old student. I'll do I do teenage workshops as well and a 12-year-old will say hey Chris I think you could do this better Thank you so much What a blessing Thank you for sharing that with me don't ever hold back what you feel and I could just see tears and that 12-year-old's eyes Like oh my god. I made a difference for him. Yeah, because it's it takes humility to be successful It takes being willing not to be right if I was right. I'm like what am I gonna listen to you? So I think that that's answering your question. That's one of the most detriment. It's not there's many other things But that's one of the most detrimental thing. I want to move to your book. Okay transformation Transform your life then principles of abundance and prosperity Okay, and you start with the first rule which is outflowing giving And we discussed this I think The point is when you start a business Very hard to think about giving and I can tell you for my experience Sure, Scott can relate now at our point in life, right? This podcast is like the example of we are giving knowledge of us and others This is all we're not selling any course over here. We're not making no This is taking time out of your life. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, but when you start the business This is not what you think about right? You have nothing to give other than your time and you don't have time to give because you you don't have the knowledge to contribute You just started you don't have the money to probably give Don't have it all you have is time if you're gonna go and allocate that so is there a time Frame where you said okay look this is when you start giving it's get that was the first rule out of ten And I by the way, I think everything makes absolutely sense when you go through all the rules I just wanted to know if it's chronological or how would you I like to talk about that Well, you know how Eskimos have like 90 words to describe snow Because they're in the right, so an Eskimo has like we just call it snow or slush You know or whatever, but Eskimos live in the snow and they have 90 different variations of snow The same thing goes for giving giving in terms of how you see it That's that's true Because you're seeing it as a commodity you're seeing it as giving them Whether it's product or giving them a certain type of service or giving something to the client And so how I look at it giving is more of a mindset than an action It's a giving mindset It's a mindset of how can I make a difference Through my platform I don't need my business doesn't need to be Solid or taking off for me to have the mindset of how do I use what I do to make a difference improve the world To into the world to bring joy I could give love that doesn't cost money. I could give joy to you saying if I have a product I can so get that product is gonna make it different It's gonna be a unique product or you're seeing a set of my product that I'm about to sell Use your use your campaign to be focused on how you are going to make a difference in the world through your products How how what you're doing is going to elevate life how I believe that companies with a purpose and a mission By far are way more successful than companies. This is want to make money. That makes sense And so you know when we started outstanding foods and I've been there since ground zero mindset and vision was more important than the actual product And so we want to bring joy and love and you should see our branding a checkout outstanding foods.com It's or outstanding foods on Instagram and you'll see that there's it's pink and it's purple as yellow and it's just a joyful positivity and we snout we sell plant-based next But the whole my the whole model has been around giving And that's how we are in with the employees. We're always we do mindset Zooms every month every every week. There's a there's a meeting about giving and contribution So it's more of the energy and then of course we'll do give away We'll do give away is we'll give discounts and all that but that's That you I agree with you that is once The company is solid and able to do that But it's more of like when I'm referring to is more of an energy because there are people that have no money And that live in you know in dire conditions, but they're the most generous people I know Like I I had been you know, I'll just give it a quick you know anecdote. I was with a client Who was in this private jet and I'm not going to mention the aims at a confidentiality But he was with the private jet in a private jet. We're flying from San Juan to New York And he was married to one of the most beautiful women on the planet About to have a baby he had just made 40 million dollars because he sold so many records and blah blah blah and He was the most angry and sad and pissed off and he was not a giver. He was like the poorest millionaire I ever met And then you go to the mountains of Puerto Rico where there's Waterfalls and the rainforest and then there's a woman who lives in a shack house and no electricity But there's always music and there's always positive energy and it's just like the it's the most generous environment to be in To me, she's the richest woman on the planet to she doesn't need anything success. He's up. You know Yeah, so success is really about the energy that you that you are living in And don't get me wrong. I'm all about the 20 million and the happiness like yeah, I want it all Yeah, that's why I call the bugs for like if you talk about this mindset that you approach with your business This is this is a tying you to a greater purpose than just revenue and revenue revenue will come eventually But to get to even revenue milestones you need a lot more than initial motivation and that initial fire So you do need something it's gonna tie you to that long-term vision and that goal and I think that's where you're getting Yeah, I'm putting stuff out into the world that makes you feel good agreed and and people nowadays are so many options right so many products so many options and just companies who are so many companies and Guess who people gravitate towards towards something they can relate to so that's so that's the first sort of like the for and why did you choose that as the number one Or the first because it's a law what you put out comes back. So it's it's the law of attraction The energy you put out the the energy that you it comes down to to me Giving is generosity. Would that be more individual because everyone would think different. I think mine would have been Integrity that's the first one Well, there's kind of hard to decide what's against that right There's no real order yes. No, I mean look the whole thing about the principles is to have them as your guidepost, you know to have them as Reminders, but they don't that it's not an order. Yeah, but to me what's what triggers Prosperity is giving I I can tell you why why I like this. Okay, so I'm gonna read them. Okay, so it's outflowing Clean a clearing Integrity visualization Affirmation declaration Did you hear me? I said okay Resistance surrendering Sourcing surround yourself with inspiring people. I can tell you that each and every one of them is critical And I can absolutely see this as a 10 commandments which it's not by order It is all important. It's kind of like enough if if you in the reason it's important to Sorry about this is Florida weather Someone is listening. Okay, this is somewhere I absolutely is like he's right. So So I like that because ultimately when you when you have Simple way to guide your path with certain Principles, it's easier for you to know in a lieu of having a mentor next to you. It's okay. I stick with those rules That's how it started with the Hebrews and don't you know how do you know first of all that book Which is a small book and even career? It's also a workbook I mean if you do the book the book the way it's designed it's a workshop I have gotten more feedback from that about that book Than anything else I've ever done like I get letters and emails and Instagram direct messages from people from Israel from Lebanon from Latin America. It's in Spanish too So I get it from all over the world people saying how This specific principle changed my life for this because when you provide people a guide I can't coach everybody individually. It's not going to happen and not everyone can afford my workshops or my coaching But I saw the book as a way to give and by the way, I don't make any money off the book The book the book the actual book creation Is a example of giving all the money that book generates goes to St. Jude's Directly like every week I write a check to St. Jude's literally because the book thanks to the podcast School of greatness not to promote another one with yours, but you know, I like I like it We're big fans. We're big fans. Yeah, well, I've been on 25 different times. Yeah, different episodes The book came out of the podcast We did a podcast on a button spurs parody and then from there the feedback Was so overwhelming from people like literally 200 people were like can you turn this into a book? And that's where the book came from interesting, which is why Lewis does it forward And by the way, we're big fans of Lewis house So if you guys don't know Lewis house go check him out. He's amazing. He's a podcast. Oh, just Amazing. Yeah, he is You know, it's interesting because all the all the ones on here First of all, I think they're all important But the one that I think is not discussed enough is is clearing and I think that that's something that everyone's going to agree that Oh, yeah, integrity is important. Oh, yeah, affirmations declarations persistent. These are all very important things Aclearing it takes a special kind of look inside to understand when we have this negativity built up And it's something that I don't even think I do a very good job of at all so Let's let's understand a little bit more about why that's so important how to do it effectively Because all the other things are directly tied to business as clearing is as well Clearing is probably the toughest for somebody to accept that they haven't done a good job of in their life Yeah, so clearing is really about letting go And sometimes we hoard right we hoard emotions We hoard things we hoard people we accumulate limiting beliefs we accumulate guilt We accumulate resentment and a lot of us are like walking time bombs because we don't clear And that affects your effectiveness as a as an athlete as a performer as a business owner And every walk of life if you're not and clear like if I would imagine me right now really mad pissed off Guilty I wouldn't have the energy that I have and the transparency that most people most people go through their whole life like that Exactly, which is why it's so important to learn this and to hear it and to and I'm glad that you that you brought that out because to me That is one of the most like you're going to ask me what is one of the most important principles I'd say clearing is because clearing gives you the opportunity to heal And healing is so important and a lot of people in their arrogance go I'd love it to heal Well, you know what take a look you know take a look at your health take a look at your body take a look at your relationships Take a look at your finances all of our results is feedback Take a look at your emotional level your level of patience Take a look at how tired you are your body speaks to you your bank account speaks to you everything around you Your lack of tolerance speaks to you. Why do you think you're so much road rage? Road rage isn't about the guy who cut the guy off and you decide to go out with a baseball bat and smash You know the other car road rage is that's the final straw that broke the camel's back. Why? Because it didn't clear So like if I have you know in my refrigerator clearing is the same thing as having Vegetables in refrigerator that are starting to create a farm culture You know, I have you've ever looked into your refrigerator and you're like that lettuce has been there a little too long And there's like little people living in it You know before you know it if you don't clear that food out any rotten food You'll have to throw the whole refrigerator out because it will smell to the point that it's unbearable Same thing with us as human beings like we need to constantly clear And you know when I gravitate when I hear clear a side of understanding to clear negative thoughts from your head every morning Which it's natural and it's and it's important to clear those I think in clearing Is is something that I'll bring back to the business world is where you grow some company and throughout the years You create all those rules that eventually needs to be revisit and you create all those walls and taboos or it all We learn that doesn't work don't don't do it again and so on Eventually you create some process and procedures that are absolute and and slowing you down and it's time to kind of like be opened Like he said to other ideas when someone you shows up and say hey, why are we doing this? Why don't we do it like this? We used to do it somewhere else. Well, we don't do it over here. Why? Right you clear that negative thought that says we're not doing it just listen up and you'll find yourself being able to Restructure your company or your life for sure The governments government do the same if you go and you look at all laws. There was a law in California that said that if you have if they changed that recently where if you have a plaza in that in a particular size plaza if you have a store and That store has a cashier to so many feet from the window you cannot service alcohol over there for no reason Because in the 50s, there was a reason that something happened As soon as that cleared out they removed that regulation plenty of plazas that were dead plaza suddenly had lots of entertainment coming in and lots of bars were able to open up And companies were able to prosper and they were able to actually go and start servicing alcohol people came into the bars Then all the other stores around made sense. That's clearing. This is clearing for me. No clearing It's not just emotional clearing is clearing out an outdated idea clearing is like when you refresh your computer Right, you have restart it clearing is like when you have on your iPhone notification. There's a new download You know, it's it's the one thing that's constant in life is change And if we don't evolve with the changes which requires of course letting go of what was and being present with what is And to me it's also about Giving up the need to do the same thing over and over the same way one of the biggest problems that you see in government And you see in business and you see in your own life Is the definition of insanity which is repeating the same thing over and over and over expecting a different result If you don't clear old patterns like what you were just saying you can't create new You know you don't be experiencing the same things I want to bring to relationships Like I had a friend who was obsessed with this guy and she was in love and he was the love of my life And he's like this amazing hot guy and he's a producer and I love him in blah blah blah And then he broke up with her and her life was over And she hung on to that And every new guy that would come into her life she'd reject What's the problem she never cleared that energy that wasn't a problem when she didn't meet us those She didn't you're married at the time so okay But she but I coached her and I said what are you gaining what's what's the reward in what you're doing She's like I stay safe The reward is because what we don't realize is that a lot of our negative habits We actually have them because they bring us a false reward In other words, we wouldn't do it if it bring us some sort of false benefit. So her I call it a racket her racket was I don't trust many more I'm pushing men away and the false reward for that was that she got to stay safe and she got to be right And she got to be in control However, the price tag was her dream to be with a partner was never gonna happen And so it took her clearing that energy forgiving him forgiveness is one of the keys to clearing forgiving him letting that negative energy go and Basically getting her power back and Within six months a guy shows up in her life. She's open to him They fall in love I'm at the wedding and Casa de Campo and one of the most beautiful houses. I've ever been in other than your house of course And I'm giving and I'm at the at the wedding celebrating with my friend who is now marrying her soulmate and now they have a beautiful baby boy The boy is cheers old now and that child would not be around as she hung on to that shit So I agree with you clearing and clearing has to do with emotions Clearing has to do with patterns, but also can mean clear the shit out of your house Right like how much time ago? Yeah, we've got a hundred percent clutter in your house You got your closet in your house forgot for a bit clear toxic relationships. How about that one? But this is so I think everybody can agree on the importance of it, but my My issue not issue my The thing I'm trying to solve for somebody who's listening to this podcast. Are you clearing now? I maybe I am They wear it let it go is if you if you architect these false rewards in your head How do you have the cognizance and the awareness to know what you even have to start clearing Unless somebody else dissects that and understands it for you Well, that's why coaching is so important. I'm I'm telling you I think I think the most you said that visualization where you say where do I want to be Well, yeah, I mean, but but he's talking about when when you are you don't have a clue Like you're in a pattern and you don't see a way around that you've we've got to be open to other people supporting us Yeah, and yes, the the way out of any breakdown is visualization Am I getting an a foot this may do it? You are getting a plus Gold Gold stars, but yeah visualization. What's my vision? That's the question you want to ask yourself when you're in any breakdown What's my vision? What's the outcome that I want to create in my life? Where do I want to be? You know and by being connected to that then I get to look at okay So what are the things in my life that I need to clear what are the things in my life that are in the way But I also am a big fan and by the way, I have a coach like I I coach coaches I've been coaching for a long time. I invest at least a hundred thousand dollars a year in coaching seminars training personal development Why because that investment the return on that Has me have an unlimited life and I'm talking about unlimited financially unlimited emotionally like I am free And why do I have it's it's almost like you run a company and you have a board of directors Well in my life, I have a board of directors. I people that I trust That for different areas of my life whether it's book or TV or whatever it is that I'm creating I've got people that I trust to have Another viewpoint that goes beyond myself Because as human beings we don't see or so there's things we don't see and so that's how I would say And by the way, there's ways of getting coaching even for free Listen to these podcasts like this one is one way read books get educated google it emotional intelligence So what do you what do you choose to what do you choose to invest in when you know that you at this point in your career You could probably get access to some of the most brilliant people brilliant minds in the world to help you with the problems that you saw So how do you choose where I co I hire I have coaches. I have a personal coach. Yeah I am part of masterminds that are very expensive and that are worth the investment. I participate in other workshops I am part of a tribe of people that we continuously challenge each other And we present in front of each other and we do our work in front of each other I've got people that before I do anything like even before today like before this podcast I called up a mentor and I said okay, I'm going on this podcast. Here's my intention. Here's my vision What do you see or anything I should add Lewis Howes who's now one of the the leading experts in podcasts and in you know in this whole thing around mindfulness And you know he calls himself a lifestyle entrepreneur Before he does a TV show before he does an interview before he does something major He calls me up and I coach him. I'm like, okay, what are you going to do? So that's that and he pays for it like he's you know that that's the investment And that's why I think it's the best because the most important investment in your life is yourself And anything could do that's going to enhance you and bring you to a level that You can't do on your own is worth it. I totally see that I can tell you that I had two main companies that I sold and in each one of them there was a woman by my side one was Angela that they used to work with her from the beginning and she pretty much always gave me the woman's perspective That you just don't have as a man right then my my X-wife got bless her she was pretty much my biggest coach and she again gave me the perspective that I would just no matter what I'm not wired there's no way to go and say ever how a woman's perspective and learn especially here like a work Absolutely beauty in a box, right? Yes. Yes, and it's like I always gravitate towards asking women what they think because I knew and I had to filter the yes people because there's some that because of your status they'll tell you yes You're right. Oh, I'm surrounded by that all the time. Yeah, but you don't know how to filter that right And you and you just don't matter how many times you can ask some people stop just tell me for it But they they're trying to tell me tell me yeah, but then you find out the ones that are genuine and they'll tell No, no, no, don't ever you you're gonna only hear it from someone that sits on another hill with another angle at the Situation and tell you no, you don't see on your six. I'm covering your six. This is what so it was absolutely instrumental And I think that people that try to be arrogant thinking they know it all Or they say I don't need it like that's that's that's the biggest thing I see a lot of people Better famous or I think that one of the things that people don't realize is becoming successful is not the hard part It's maintaining it. It's it's once you're up there. What do you do? Because a lot of people will hit a goal or hit a status and then I'm sure you've seen this will completely sabotage it Like how many athletes? I mean look at look at um Aaron Hernandez Mm-hmm. He just signed I don't know $20 million or whatever the amount of money was He already accomplished his big dream. He's engaged She was pregnant The house of his dreams has the let and he went he goes and murder somebody and then he takes his his own life It's like what happens to us when we get to a point where no one can talk to us That's the image that's the image is very critical. I can tell you that your image Can can help you but can drag it down if you're so concerned about your image Maybe you shouldn't build up your image This is so like image so like if that image gets destroyed then that then that's all you have you are your image You think that that's yeah, if you are your image if you are if you are your record sales If you are your number one movie and then you don't have that anymore then who are you and that that thoughts of people Completely yeah, because if your self-worth is tied into that And so my self-worth isn't tied into a result my self-worth is tied into my values My self-worth is tied into my gifts My worth comes from me I am not what I do I am not what I have So myself worth is attached to 20 million in the bank and I lose 20 million I'm gonna commit suicide or I'm gonna think I'm a piece of shit if my self-worth is tied into weighing You know certain amount I'd be devastated when I gain weight because people gain weight I'm not I don't have the same size I had when I was 40 You know 57 and now for me to release the weight is it takes a way a lot bigger effort than it did when I was 30 I would drop 20 pounds in a month like yeah, you know the problem But the point is who I am Is not tied into what I do and a lot of people go through life showing the resume And selling people on who they are and like you know and you saw that it cons, you know everyone's like sharing how big their Assets are yeah, like oh why produce six movies oh really why produce 10 and you know who's hotter and who's more famous and who's got more Oscars And so basically we have a world that thinks that their self-worth Is tied into their net worth in other words My net worth meaning Image house car money is what gives me my self-worth and I've been teaching for 34 years. It's the other way around Self-worth generates net worth Put your energy into your self-worth develop yourself value develop. What's great about you? What are your gifts? What are some parts of you that you wouldn't trade for any amount of money? Like I have a great heart. I wouldn't trade that for million bucks I have a you know, I care about people. I wouldn't trade that so there's a lot of Counting the wrong things But if you that's what you're saying. I love it. So if if you understand and identify those things that are True to you and then you double down on those yes, then you don't have to worry about the money because the money Well, that's in my book exact that exact point is in my book Because in order to give right in the outflowing that the first Principle which is giving you've got to know what you're working with And so I have you make a list of okay, so what are your 10 biggest skills? What are your 10 greatest qualities? What are your biggest accomplishments? What are you proud of? And so double down on that Because when you think of the word self-worth It's valuing me What's valuable about me? I love you for you. Not I don't know what you do for living I don't know how much money you make. I don't know. I have no idea. I don't know You know, I just knew about beating the box But I just I didn't know much more about you But we connected in one moment And I felt kindness and openness and giving and I'm like I like this guy when I want to be a part of his life You know, so that does more for Success I believe and I'm and I'm about abundance and prosperity don't get me wrong Like I love you know, I love taking companies that are worth nothing into worth billions I love taking artists who's unknown who's a waiter slash host slash bus boy slash actor And going to the premiere of his Hollywood movie with him seeing him now make Close to a million dollars a picture like I love seeing that But the road to success is really the road to inner discovery And the more you discovering you and the more you value having you the more you can offer other people You know, I think the transformation On one hand is going to be where you get experience in in your path over your business your career And it can actually make you forget where you come from And that is what is make that's where it's very dangerous if you still have The social intelligence to always be charismatic and cool with anyone no matter where you Where they are from you can connect with them That is going to give you that satisfaction and say no matter what I had in my life or have or don't have anymore It doesn't matter. I still have this. I have that ability to connect with people And I'm likable that makes me feel that I haven't forgotten from I was like that before I'm still the same I'm not putting my nose above above anyone. I love that and I look and and and I love people like that like One of the things that I talk about not in the book But I talk about this and Lewis and and I actually did a whole podcast around this is the power being present Most people aren't present Like when you meet them like when I met you you knew I was present. I was like Like my eyes go right into you, you know and say anything with you like I am I'm here. I'm with you when I saw you outside of my Hi, right like because I am present Because I don't want to miss any of this because I'm aware that there's going to be an ending I'm aware that I live from the awareness of time is precious And so I'm going to make the most out of the time that I have and I find that people that are present Become more successful than people that are just never there And at the end of the day, it's like you'll have people come and go through your life that you were never present for And so it's it's a gift to be present When when you go to events many times people would Staking that they're the doctor person and they're not sure What else they're missing out on so you can't really capture their eyeballs looking at you at the same time And it's kind of disturbing because just I'm speaking to you stop looking to the sides We're talking right now over here. I can be also rude. So it's important Because you're doing so it is very direct. Yes. I love that. I love that if you want to go and look for someone else go I'll be here when you're done I think that's an issue that everybody suffers from now because everybody is hyper-stimulated by everything and anything right Well, we live in TikTok world, right? So it's a candy crush tech talkic You know like like we need stimulation stimulation stimulation the new rule now is it's got to be a 30-second thing Because if it's more than 30 seconds people get bored. Yeah, so we live in a permanent 80 Even culture if you actually talk about business business, you know For business reasons you want to have a really tight three-second hook Yeah, on the beginning of that thing because to hook the people you need three seconds to get them into the 15 or the 30-second thing You know, do you know who's Antonio Garza? I've heard that man. You know I know what he he she started He started he started or she started doing transformation videos And not just trans-transformation videos, but what you'll see is zoom in out in out in out moving to the side just In a secolic way because the stimulation goes to the little kids that did that They need to be extremely stimulated. So in order for them to stick around It's not about hey, let's cut the video every three seconds and put the Position the head a little bit here and there just to stimulate the person over here. It's every point three seconds In out in out and that that got Antonio Garza. I think right away about one one or two million followers right on YouTube of course, which is hard right that was that was in 2018 Wow, and now is on YouTube YouTube That's YouTube much harder It was already because it's also applying demand right if you have so many creators already on YouTube It's very hard to go solve over some to existing platform But you come in with a completely new species kind of like an apac predator strategy that just take all the all the 12-year-old From from your Messes up their their attention spend you'll never gonna watch your video and that's what that that transcends that transcends day-to-day conversation right So I mean, that's the issue that everybody has how do you say present when you come from a tiktok world And you always want to check your phone and you're always on actually it's funny because I think one of the guests We had on this show you did it for like two hours. We had a two-hour show and they said well, that's the longest I remember not checking my phone And it was a two hour yeah Well, that's the unfortunate thing about the world we live in it so fast pace that people have so many ways to avoid Connection and there's a whole generation that doesn't know how to talk to each other that doesn't know how to communicate Like I have nieces and nephews and you know friends of theirs that all they do is text. They don't talk Like they get if you call them they get offended. It's like you've got to text them Because it's very invasion of privacy, but when you go like what are you doing just text me? I'm doing something. I'm playing a video game. How do you it's it's it's one of those things that you have children, right? Yes, I do how do they eight and 12? Oh wow boy and a girl. That's awesome. Yeah, not yet for me Now that you're aware of right no no no no you're aware of Yeah, so What's what I wanted to go and talk over here actually and when we look at the phone by the way It's not because we're being rude. This is where we put going. I know you're talking about you You're guilty like people This is our news texting while we talk. We're not texting. I'm on airplane mode. Yeah This is happy knows I've been looked at my phone once. I'm giving you two points. Yeah, I keep making points. Yeah, two non transferable points. Okay, so I want to ask you about I mean I understand everything. I want to hear more about sourcing Well sourcing is is attracting We attract into our lives. What's there a lot of people complain about what's in their life They complain about the relationships. They complain about their bodies. They complain about the You know the jobs the opportunities and they they come they come up with a story of victim story That the condition or the circumstances the reason why they're not happy or the reason why they can't get a job The economy or the pandemic and so when you are a victim What you're doing is you're killing your ability to attract What you want to attract and you attract things that Line up with that conversation So I think everyone's a dirt bag all I'm gonna see is dirt bags everywhere if I think that but why is that so I want to understand I also want to understand it from the law of attraction perspective because without when you don't go deep into this concept It just becomes confusing for people who don't already buy into it. If you say I'm just gonna think about dirt bags and all I'm gonna attract into my life is dirt bags That's a confusing concept people the graphs because they're obviously so consciously still looking for good people So why if they just assume there's only dirt bags where they just attract dirt bags because that's all they could see In other words Have you ever gotten glasses or a cast and also and you notice everyone with a cast? Where you notice everyone who had glasses like something that you never noticed before or you got a Tesla or you got a car A certain color car and you start noticing that Your brain is hardwired to focus and zero in on whatever attention you give it And so if I say don't think of a pink elephant The first thing comes to mind is a pink elephant and so if I if in my mind my programming is that People can't be trusted I could be in a room with a thousand honorable men But I won't see it because I'm gonna look for What everything that looks like what I'm thinking about And so the minute someone you know does something I'll go see. I knew it That's the law of attraction. It's kind of like me thinking and I don't want to be I don't want to sound you know Limiting towards any sex, but like a lot of men believe that women can't drive right to limiting belief And could you imagine being a woman who's a good driver and you're a man who thinks women can't drive and I'm next to them You're like watch out watch this watch that you know and then you know the backseat drivers. Yeah Well your energy puts that person so nervous that even if you're the best driver in the world You're gonna drive like shit because you fell self conscious So as human beings our beliefs Become the filters that we see life through And so if the only options I see are the ones that I see in front of me that I'm not gonna see beyond that And so What I think about the energy that I am is the energy that I attract And so that's that's a little bit around In terms of sourcing You can if you have a mindset of the opposite People are beautiful people can be trusted people are amazing You could surround yourself with people that maybe don't have that Maybe they're not trustworthy But you'll find like Mother Teresa you will find goodness and everybody He's also that you hire people like you Subconsciously and then sourcing is no don't stick to you get people that can complete you That you what so if you if you look at many companies and you look at teams you'll find out that Based on the team many times not not all the time, but you'll find that there is a certain Homogeneous part in certain teams all right, so if if it's for example Elatino manager you'll hire a lot of Latinos or so on people like mind it I'm from Stanford. I'll have a bunch of Stanford because you're creating you are the source of the sourcing is also a culture Like what's the culture you're creating? Have you noticed that the owners of companies create a certain culture and they hire based on that based on what they're looking for But this is why I'm going against because I think that you're limiting yourself if I Come from a particular area that just say the suburbs I want to know I want to bring some city people I want to bring people with the different backgrounds So they can complete a vision that we might be missing over here and we can be a little bit better So we can all create our own culture within but we need to be in different backgrounds because then will be With now without any blind spots, but that in itself is a culture But I also know it is a culture, but I'm saying If you if you want to go and diverse yourself and be a little bit better, so you have to Right, but that in itself is for example, there are companies that do that because they want to bring diversity They want to bring it sourcing is not or attracting isn't just about attracting only what you want or how you want it It's attracting based on what your vision is So my vision is to create a company that is multicultural and has a lot like what you've done You have brought in a woman's point of view Because you have your way of saying it and you have a woman who is providing An angle that you're not wired for Yeah, that's what you attracted based on your vision to provide them a product May provide an extent but one more point on that I think it's also important that When you look at the world a certain way to say you look at the world In a way that people are good and people can be trusted That's sort of like your high level lens at what you look through Yes, at the world, but I mean It within that lens you still have people of different Talents convictions that you bring into your organization So I think it's still important that when you do go out and you do want to attract into your life You want to look for people to work with you have these these non-negotiable values that you bring into that Discussion absolutely, but then once but so that's like the the work you have to do on yourself first You have to understand how you want to build a business the ethics the more There's two things. There's there's what you're attracting and then there's within that There are your boundaries correct. Yeah, and your boundaries need to be clear Because if you're just attracting Let's say you don't have a clear boundary you'll attract all the people And including people that will violate those boundaries So you have to be very clear on what's non-negotiable what those boundaries are But sourcing is really about attracting it's about we attract to our lot and this take it to science energy Attracts energy like like energy attracts like energy correct. Yes. So it's you know, it's that's the the Source of what sourcing is And so a lot of people complain right about what's in their lives as if they have nothing to do with it And so my point of view and it's just a point of view Is it is it guaranteed it will it always work? No, these are all points of views That I find that when you live in these point of views More times than not it will bring you the result Because you could question every single principle go well. It's not always true. I agree What I'm sharing is not the light to truth in the way. I'm just sharing these are platforms that I see That will benefit you in the platform of sourcing comes from responsibility I am also responsible for what I attracted my life And so if I am committed to honest loving people and I open that up and I I've got to be honest in loving Yeah, if I'm negative and you know and and someone who pushes people away Then honest people don't want to be around that and loving people want to be around that Why are we together we attracted each other yeah if I was if I was different than I am I wouldn't be here And so when you when you when you apply sourcing into your life what you're doing is you're clarifying What's the environment that I want to have And so I get to kind of like what got the Gandhi quote be the change I wish to see That's it mean that it's always going to work. No, sometimes people get in. No, but you got to get these You got to get these these pillars as part of your life set first of course Then all the derivatives of the energy that you put into the world is is at least As much in line with these pillars as it can be yeah, like I'm unconditionally loving And I believe and I give everybody's been in doubt yeah, but I'm like baseball three strikes in your out Yeah, I got you fail me one shame on you. Tell me twice shame on you. Tell me three times shame on me Yeah, because I'm Maintaining the environment I want to create and I'm responsible. I'm the custodian you're the custodian of what happens in your business Relationships and your life Interesting that's good. So when you go back to I'm like vision when you look at the company and book about the negative Now when you look at a young entrepreneur and I think it's good for an investor to hear this If you had to look at a company that just started you see positivity where you see that person has the attributes to actually succeed Why would be the first thing that? Amazon investor want to look at the company I want to ask myself about the entrepreneur and try to like pinpoint on his personality Okay, that is a person that can make it outside of skill sets and everything else personality wise What would you say if you seem certain people that you can say okay? I can tell this person's gonna make it you you're talking about liabilities and assets what are those assets that we need to search for Well, when you're talking about when I hire somebody when I bring in coach you coach companies Startup stage that grew tell me about kind of like a commonality on those that made it. Why was those assets that Their founders had Got it. So what are the what what are the assets? What are the quite strange strengths that you saw in their personalities that they knew and you said okay, I can tell well I think I think I think one of them is a growth mindset having a growth mindset having a mindset of being open to possibilities being open to change being able to Go beyond the way things have always been one of the things that I saw without standing foods was That the people involved have a growth mindset and the reason why they were successful Is because the first product they put out didn't work because the mushroom was too expensive and the pandemic they put out a vegan bacon chip And it sold well But it got to a point where it was just too expensive to make and to scale up And so what I believe was one of the key assets of that company was We need to come up with another product We need to do it at a certain amount of time And the people involved Instead of looking at the evidence of what's been done in the past and how long it's taken Because normally it takes two years to get a product out And if they'd have the fixed limited mindset of what's never been done before so we can't do it And they pump the brakes on the vision The company would have folded But since everyone involved in the in the decision was so open and so like all right We've never done it, but let's let's go for it and let's you know, let's um So what you see over here, let's make it happen within six months They came up with the outstanding puffs. So you're saying you're saying you're seeing an entrepreneur founder That was really searching for good product market fee He did not compromise on the on the fee to just economically didn't make sense Yes, it hit the mark but not economically and he said okay I am not gonna go and bury myself because I'm married to a process of two years that I had to put out there I'm gonna focus on results And I'm willing to be uncomfortable again And try something that wasn't done before Yeah, so I'm willing to risk. I'm willing to trust. I'm willing to be outrageous I'm willing to go I'm willing to create what's never been created before interesting And I and I think that for an entrepreneur to to have that mindset of Let's create what's never been created before and let's trust our resources Of course you had to have a a solid foundation of people with talent Yes, and the guy that created this is his name is David Anderson. He created Beyond Meat He's one of the creators of Beyond Meat And you know, which is the you know, you see that everywhere of course And so he was like okay, it's take normally takes two years But let's let's make this happen and he made it happen and the and the product has been a success And since then they came out with the cheese puffs Of the cheese balls, you know the which is like little you know Cheetos and they're coming out with cookies and they're coming out with all these products but the whole mindset Within that company is a growth mindset And it's a mindset of willing to risk you know that now educated risk not stupid, you know, irresponsible risk But it starts with the willingness it starts with the trust in myself So trusting myself willing to risk being open to other possibilities I think that those are ingredients that are necessary for Not just companies to be successful for people Yeah, focusing on a process can be extremely dangerous if you focus on the processing other results You can take yourself into a very long path where at the end You could have just looked back every time in the rearview mirror and you can say it's not gonna work There is a case that I used to give and boxy charm about Motorola where they launched A satellite they decided to change the satellite phone which had at the time early 90s a slight delay when you would speak to someone So one of the engineers said well, we can actually change that we're gonna go and Launch 53 new satellites into orbit just a different Path a little bit closer to earth different frequency No delayed it took them 10 years and 10 billion dollar 10 years later the necessity for satellite phone crushed Why because the antennas everywhere right who build those antennas Motorola They could have stopped at any time Right, but they were focused on the process. It took them six months to bankrupt that particular organization and lose 10 billion dollars and they were looking For buyers for that technology and they called it ready shoot aim And it was because they were focused on the process and not the results and no one There to go and say guys the demand for satellite phones fall off a cliff the only one uses now It's people on the ocean military. There is no more demand for that. We should cut it short And that's where you focus on if you focus on the process If you focus on results and you understand why you're doing this right you have to Let the company know Do not getting this courage if we stop you in the middle of a year and a half process if we think it's not going to be a product market feed It's part of us succeeding. We rather fail during the development versus after the execution right It's the intention so it's it's focusing on the intention versus the how And I think that that that is an incredible tool the another ingredient is people are intentional A lot of people like you said they get caught up in the process and the how we're going to do this and let's research and let's investigate and You know the and they stay caught up in the mechanism and a lot of people believe that once you have the mechanism Set up in the right way that's getting guarantee success, but I know people that have Could spend years and millions of dollars on mechanism and then it's too late because time is up So intention is being committed to the outcome being committed to the result Whether you know how or not. I actually think that's where experience can be a detriment to your success. Yes as well Absolutely Well, that was the pushback without staining foods. I mean in the beginning, you know They was like there's no way we can do this. I mean it's like I I'm an expert and then we kept saying yeah, I hear you and what if Versus yeah, but yeah, but it's it can't I'm like what if and so being in the what if And I don't know you could call it Esoteric or whatever and once you do it one time in six months You created a new standard. Yeah, you said okay guys. We've done this before We know what you're capable. Can we push that boundary? We know we pushed already one time We can get in this way you no longer bound by those rules because he cleared those. This is clearing so you clear the expectation And you clear the way it's it's always been done. It's like My favorite thing is what's been done this way unless it had unless it's not or it needs to be done this way unless it doesn't Yeah, in other words like in other words, I think that we're the ones who placed the rules on things Based on our comfort jumps, you know, and so that's why I said risking intentional being committed to the to the outcome And that creates and I asked to believe I was I was making the point that it may be woo or strange or esoteric But I believe that when you commit to something that's impossible The universe inspires like I just think that all of a sudden What you didn't see before you see now and I saw that happened when this product that was launched in six months versus two years The minute he committed to it. I'm serious. The minute. All right. That's it. I have no clue how this product's gonna come out I have no clue how we're gonna do it, but I know we're gonna do it All of a sudden green light green light green light green light green light green light red red red red red Okay, we got this green light green light green light until the product came out And that's the outstanding puffs. You see the whole food. You see it all in place And it's a very successful plant-based snack. I want to try this And definitely want to do that. I honestly think it's because when you have energy towards something I don't think it's esoteric or or anything I don't think so when you have energy and focus on something Things start to you start to understand alternative options alternative solutions that if you're so negative You won't even start to be creatively trying to address solutions and trying to creatively address problems It's like the guy whose air who gets lost and won't look at a map a hundred percent and then he's like He's like, well, this is the only way. It's the it's the path I've always been on and then someone goes well Look at Google Maps Google Maps says you can go this way that way that way. We'll get there sooner. Yeah, you know And so it's it's being open to other possibilities being open to other avenues sometimes You know, you just tell yourself the worst thing that can happen you won't work The worst that can happen if I don't do it. I know that doesn't work already We established that we have to change in that's the only way. So let's go and I distinct that words matter and words are vehicles of energy And so when you say things I will I'll try and I hope and I wish and I want and let's see What you're doing is you're creating a back door for it not to happen versus I will I did I'm done I'm committed this will be done That and that also to do with sourcing that energy Creates collective energy and that's synergy and of course Collectively we see other options other possibilities. How many impossible things have been created in life I mean all out of the belief that it can be that you expect to be a unicorn and do only things that were done before then It's you know, I'm gonna be in a work and if the only tool you have in life is a hammer everything looks like a nail That's a good analogy Get me going let me take another sip of this red wine two two more points I think that The it starts with the first request when you ask someone How would you able to do it instead of can you do it? Right The approach begin with you know a question and I like to ask a lot and I think it's a great question Even when things are going wrong How much better can this be? Because the answer to that is always positive How much better can this be or how much better can this get So like I'm losing you know my business is going down. Okay. How much better can this be? It's going well How much better can this be? You know, you're putting out this energy forward that that is forward move you're falling forward And this is this is something when when you your last rule is So on yourself with inspiring people so look This is the thing when you're with people that are doing better than you or something completely different that can give you better perspective That is where it's the easiest way to crack that ceiling that you don't think big enough Which is a challenge it is very hard to think big than what you already think But once you see that with the person you know that you have humanized that person It looks something that is humanly possible to achieve It happened me in cans I go to cans and it's the first time and I and I went with a red carpet like I got paid to go Which is great, right nice. I got paid to go. I got flown first class. I stayed in the most beautiful hotel You know everything was a red carpet for me and people paid to listen to me But while I was out there I went with a mission of What more can I be who more can I be what what's a bigger possibility and I started talking to people You know, I I spent time with My musk my musk Elon musk mother oh yeah nice and we we just gravitated so she's stunning woman And she's talking about just things that are so out of my reality You know about having a home here and traveling here and doing this and impacting people this way and raising Half a billion dollars for a certain charity and and I'm thinking why I never thought in those numbers But now I'm thinking in those numbers Now I'm thinking like yeah, I want to get a house in the south of France Why not You know when Oprah was asked why do you have 20 houses? She goes because I can Exactly, you know, and so and so to put to your point when you when you surround yourself with people That challenge you and that are that you don't necessarily need to be the smartest person in the room Some people don't like being the person who knows the least And I think that's important who you surround yourself. There's a saying in Spanish and it says Tell me who you hang out with and I'll tell you who you are Dime con King and us eat the wrecking it is So the people that surround you Says a lot about you and and then when I think when you talk about clearing this is part of that when you have Evolution in life and you said well look I have people that I love them, but This is not the ones that I want to spend most of my day with It's not enough to just have successful friends if you want to be successful financially It's on also how much time are you actually spending with them right if you decide to go and really move forward Then you have to start Spend more time with who You have to decide people out of your life. It is it is politically wrong to say this today But it's I don't call it cut people out that I mean I what I call it is Making a choice of where I'm investing my energy. So I don't look at it like I'm cutting you out I'm just making a decision that I'm not gonna put my energy towards you And so I've got I say that there's my inner circle people that are daily and people that are people that are part of my Direct communication. Yeah, and there's people that are on the outer circle That from time to time I'll check in on and we might go out for lunch and then there's people that are Friendly acquaintances and there's people who I don't want near me You want but but on the day to day you want people that influence you in the right direction only only only I talk about toxic relationships and and how a lot of times the toxic relationships Is really something that you're doing in other words you're it's your own selfishness that keeps that relationship There's a there's a payoff or else you wouldn't have it You know the payoff might be familiarity or they're my family or they you know I owe them something or whatever But I think that the the biggest detriment in relationships is when you've got the wrong people around you So you see now we'd see yours and you tell them look Specifically those people that I see you hanging with I would recommend you spend less time with them do you actually go there or you just I don't I don't tell anybody anything. I ask them. Okay, so I don't go you need to do you know I'm gonna do that I go so tell me what's your vision? What's the environment you want to be around you So talk to me about the people that are in your life. Let's go for it One what does this person add to your life and then they'll go nothing Okay, so suppose what do you what do you need to do with that person do you want to continue to invest time and I'm you know what I don't okay So what action can you take Let's go through the next one. What's the reason you go through a question and not directly telling them that because people tend to Apply what they come up with on their own versus what I tell them So when I coach people I coach people from an open-ended question type of coaching versus an instruction Unless they say give me this instruction like someone like could say give me 10 tips to But when it's like that it has to do with like a daily ongoing thing I like to ask the questions and I find that in my trainings that people have bigger breakthroughs when they discover it on their own Then I go oh you relate and that's unacceptable I'll say okay, you relate what do you think about that So I could say you relate that's an acceptable, but you have an employee that's late and you go hey, you relate today Is that your vision? You know what we're doing. It's actually good because um, I don't know if you read the crease boss Uh, he explained how it's much easier to have someone saying no versus say yes So if you go to someone and you tell them you need to cut that person of your life. It's very hard for him to go and tell okay Yes, it's easier if he you ask him when would that sound crazy With the way you're doing this is actually great because you said well, that's something you're looking for no, okay You came up with the conclusion is really would go into person and if you need to ask them directly and I say I need your help said you'd be mad Yeah, I'm leading them Yes, yes, so and it makes it easier for them to make a decision. Yeah, and I knew that without reading the book That's it. I can said you're a special person But I love it. I love reading books. I mean, I'm always looking at stuff But I just think that at the end of the day people Need to honor themselves and when I say When I make a decision not to invest time in someone who's toxic. I'm honoring myself. I'm taking care of me Because by allowing someone who's toxic in my life, they're just draining me and it's exhausting You know, some people are in marriages to the toxic and friendships to the toxic and family members It's okay to divorce your mom divorce your dad. I'm not saying get rid of them I'm saying don't give them the importance or the Significance in your daily routine that you're giving them Some people have to call their mom every single day and they're depressed after they have to I'm like well, you don't have to call her You know, yeah, you have to be selfish when you say I love you start with a word. I Because you have to love yourself. Absolutely One of my next book by the way is and I'll come back and talk about that. Am I getting a point by the way back? I just gave you a couple points. Thank you so much. Yeah, so my next book is It's called put your oxygen mask on first 30 years from 30 lessons. Sorry 30 lessons from 30 years of flying And basically I've taken my experience on airplanes, which has been my life right living on an airplane And extracting 30 powerful Transformation lessons Interesting and the first one obviously is put your oxygen mask on first We tend to sacrifice for others. We tend to Violate our boundaries. We tend to say yes to other people About what they want. We tend to put it first and so you can't pour from them to cut so Back to your point You gotta love yourself first. Yes Yeah, if you can't love yourself you can love others. No, you don't know what love is You can't pour from an empty space empty on dinner I wanted to ask something But I didn't want to divert from this sort of the thought that we were had over here But you work because it's gonna be In the same vein but slightly different. So you work for some of the most incredible high performing people in the world I do and I want to I want you to give advice to the listeners Some lessons or some personality traits that you see in those individuals that have accomplished and are operating at the peak of their game That you see somebody should maybe think about or try and optimize for in their own life Well, I have even better nerves than that. Okay. I'm gonna. I'm gonna up it. Okay. Let's go. All right I'm gonna go further I think that your personality trait as it is is enough If you bring forth the positive aspects of your personality trait And adopt some of the positive aspects of other personality traits And in order and in order for you to be able to do that you gotta identify that so there's there's been lots of studies on personalities I love that you're asking this. There's gonna be a bit. Is that okay? No, I love it go into it Because I always love okay figuring out that the less is a trend. Yeah, athletes and no this is So there's been lots of studies. It comes from Greece. It comes from mythology. It's There's different manifestations of it's called different things But basically it's called the personality matrix and the personality matrix Identifies four styles of personalities that are generalized and these are leadership effectiveness styles Everybody has their own style based on whatever the background is And there are pluses and minuses to each style And no style is better than the other Every style has value and every style has detriment The key to success is mastering the positive of every style Including your own and breaking through your own detriment So the first style of personality that you would think is the prototype of success is the controller The controller is the confident leader of the one who takes charge to one who initiates to one who makes happen The one who will will walk on fire to get anything done And so that personality style the strength of that style is that they have confidence They have a vision. They have a goal and their results driven The decrement is that they don't ask for support. They don't listen They sometimes aren't coachable. They want to be right all the time They have a hard time expressing how they feel they have a hard time connecting to people The opposite style of that is the supporter. The supporter is loving and kind and they come from the heart And they're vulnerable and they put everybody first and they are the mediators and we are the world we are the children This piece in love The decrement the detriment of that style is they're lacking what the controller has Which is they lack decision they lack power they lack putting themselves first they lack initiative They let fear drive them Then there's the analytical style this is the person who is overly thinking they're analytical they're structured They love flowchart they love or you know math and numbers and they're introverted And the gift of that is that they're rigorous and disciplined and detail oriented Then there's the dreamer The promoter the outrageous one the one who is the life of the party who is energized Who has passion who has million ideas like jack of all trades master of none You know, they're the ones who they're great politicians don't promise promise promise promise promise promise I'm unable everybody off and that's the promoter The good news about them is that they have energy and passion the bad news. They lack the rigor of the analyzer And so what's the best personality type to be successful the one who has all of it The one who has the passion right to inspire vision But the follow through and the rigor and the discipline to get done and to keep their integrity in their word And the person who is powerful who's not afraid of anything, but if they're afraid they're courageous They were willing to walk through water and they'll walk through glass to get things done And also the person who's loving and kind and vulnerable and and it's a combination of that as human beings We tend to be in one of the four quadrants And so there's like a home base It doesn't mean that you're not that you don't have one and a little bit of the other right? You could like for example you could be a controller, but also a promoter So you're controlling promoter or promoting controller Or you could be a supporting promoter Right a promoter who's also very sweet and put there to be first Or you could be a analyzing controller Right, which I think that's what you are So analyzing controller is someone who likes to be in control, but also thinks through Right, so there's also the Control uh, there's the promote controlling analyzer Okay, that's the person who leads with control, but then they back it up with analyzing being analytical So what's the best personality type all of them? I just think that it's a question of identifying within your personality type What are your liabilities Working through those liabilities and what are some other ways of being that I could adapt because to me We are not fixed as human beings. It's not like well, that's just the way I am that's that's that's an outdated Limited mindset. I think that we can be who we choose to be we could reinvent ourselves And the best employee or the best entrepreneur you've seen that happening right over and over and over again Yes, the most powerful entrepreneur the most powerful business leader is the one who's willing to reinvent themselves Based on their vision based on what is wanted and needed And so it's about accessing all of it and I'll give you the link to So that you could post it and yeah, the link that goes right to the study There's a test they could take to see which personality type they are and there's a history to it But it's an incredible thing. It's a great tool Because you know people go oh no wonder why I have a hard time connecting to people I'm a controller or no or no wonder why I have a hard time expressing my feelings I'm analytical. I'm like a robot You know or no wonder why I put everybody first. I'm more I'm a supporter or no wonder why I just I get bored easily And I have permanent ADD. I'm a promoter. I need to be inspired all the time You know, but ideally a leader and a transformational leader is someone who For example my case I have been a promoter from hell my whole life like since you know promoter like I want fun And it's got to feel good the minute it doesn't feel good. It's not fun. I'm out the minute It's not entertaining on board. That's why I got kicked out of school. I got you know in trouble all the time because I was bored And so being a promoter I had all these ideas and I would follow through one none of them And so through the trainings I learned to develop the analytical part The one who is looking at the fine print. It's good because once you learn those you can actually identify some of the people The work we're doing. Absolutely. So if I have a supporter as an employee and I'm a controller I'm going to shut her down every time I push her. So I need to be soft with her and I go listen I appreciate you and you know, there's a whole I do a whole workshop. I'm sure there's like different ways to to manage each Oh my god. You type of one not each personality types requires different questions different ways to interact with them And it's good in sales like if you're in sales and you're in your like a promoter and you're trying to sell to an analyzer And you don't have all the details. You're screwed because of an analyzer needs the facts or they're not bad So so people that are listening to this You're not going to see our but our interactions if you're watching you can see how we like chat bad you clock What personality type I am because if you're in a sales situation that'd be a highly valuable skill Is it that with somebody you can see? Yeah, I mean because just based on the different things that I That I see that a controller and an analyzer based on your questions Based on your demeanor based on your on how I see you mostly Interact so I see you more on the controlling like you like to produce results. You like to create outcomes You like to strategize you ask and sit you know like very detailed questions And he asks you know, and you're more of a promoter controller which you have you ask more general questions And you have a lot you have more passion more energy and you laugh more And but at the same time you're very driven about results So, you know, and I probably see you more of a supporter, you know, you're a supporter. You're a caretaker You know, I'm not we need a camera on valentina. We need a camera on valentina. So when we need a caretaker You are you you support you love that and that's your strength by the way those we're talking about superpowers But every superpower has a liability that you need to work on speaking up You need to work on saying no you need to work on creating balance that coaching everybody here And you know, you got to bring forth more of your energy to say no Just don't say no to him. Yeah Anyway, you got me on overtime over here. No, this is great You get points. So it's all good. That's all right Anything else that that we want to go into any last words for the audience before before we close up Obviously most important word of people reach out and connect with you Mostly an Instagram Chris Lee motivator and you could purchase my book on Amazon Which is transform your live 10 principles of abundance and prosperity And also check out my workshops Through my Instagram. You'll see the different links to the workshop companies. I work with And also check me out on the school of greatness the podcast. I'm I'm in over 25 Episodes. There's a summit of greatness coming out Which is gonna have a lot of the biggest thought leaders and on a stage And I'm offering a workshop in that summit a two-hour relationship workshop So that's like an add-on to the summit, which is great and My final thing I would say is Transform your fear into faith. I think at the end of the day we could operate from fear or operate from faith Fear is the you know the Steven Spielberg screenplay of doom and bloom and how everything sucks and it's gonna You know end up in a bad way and faith is denoing that everything's gonna work out and having that mindset Because when you transform fear into faith You're able to take control of your energy And it all obviously to do that you have to trust a process that you're in. So if you're going through a health challenge Trust a process Went through a financial challenge trust a process. You're going through a relationship challenge trust a process Know that if you have the right mindset and surround yourself with the right people That you're gonna be able to get to where you want to be. I have faith in people always do Awesome. Oh, beautiful. I love it man. Thank you. Please. Thank you so much. Thank you guys. This isn't fun Yeah, I appreciate you guys