Lessons - Overcoming Negative Self-Talk | Deborah Driggs - Actress, Model & Life Insurance Specialist

The last thing that I wanted to talk to you about, and I thought it was an interesting thing that you mentioned. I think it's something that a lot of people, obviously, everybody struggles with this to some extent. But you said, and you've touched on this a bit already. So I don't want to make it seem like you haven't spoken to this, but breaking through negative self-talk, you've done this again and again over your life. That's really how you've invented yourself. And I think that's such a noble thing to speak to because everybody deals with this. So what are your recommendations, tips, insights on breaking through that negative self-talk in anything that you do in your life? To name it, to name that person in your head, to name that person, oh, whatever it is, to name it so you can tell it, thanks for that thought today, but now you can go away because this person's taken over, and I'm in charge, and I think that when you give it a name or you give it a, you make it so it's yours, you own it. And so we're all going to have negative talk. There's just no getting around it. There are going to be days where we wake up, where we don't want to get out of bed, we just want to pull the covers over, we just want to go, you know what, today's just not the day. It's not going to happen today. And that's the voice that I go, oh, really? Okay, really? Well, let's talk, you know, really, you know, and to just make it funny, like, have a conversation. Really? Well, why do you think that? Why do you think that, you know, people might go, she's talking to herself, she's absolutely fucking lost it, and it's true, in a sense, you know, but I think that when you call something out or you write it down, it makes it less of a negative thing because I will tell you anytime that I've gotten into the deepest, right? When you get into that deep funk or that deep, like, oh, I'm so irritated or upset by this. And if you take out, and for me, this sits by me all day, it's just, you know, a yellow pad, and I know it's so old school, but literally if something's going, I literally write down all my thoughts about it and why I'm upset about it. And all of a sudden, it's like it doesn't bother me anymore. It's like, it's almost like, it's seriously, it's like doing yoga. If I'm really upset before I do yoga, I can guarantee you I'm going to walk out of yoga and go, what was I upset about? So writing can be like that. Writing can just be like, you know, talking to yourself through writing about what it is you're upset about, lessens the negativity of it. And I will say the other thing that I love a lot. And when I say a lot, because I really feel like it works, is I write a letter to God or to the universe or to angels, whatever you believe in. You could write it to mother earth, I don't care. You could write it to the plant on your desk, but you go, dear plant, and you write what it is that's really upsetting you like, why am I so upset about this, this, this, this, and this and this. Then you write the second letter, dear debs, as if you're the plant. Here's why you feel that way. And you write it as if you're writing and you have all the answers because here's the truth and here's what I believe. The answers are inside of us. We know. And when you really take the time to do that two part letter, it's so tremendously insightful because you're writing dear God. I need help with this. I don't understand why is this happening right now, what, whatever the situation is, and I write the whole letter, please help me love Deb, turn the page, dear debs, this is God, just got your letter. Here's why this is happening. And you write it as if you know it. That is a, that is an exceptional self awareness tool. I've never heard anybody recommend that, but I could see how that could be super powerful. That's a really, that's a really smart, that's a smart idea, that's a smart, smart idea because yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I didn't come up with it. I can't take full credit for it, but it was a recommend, it was a recommendation to me. I just do it a different way. I just do it a little bit different. I take it and do it the way I do it, but I will say this that everything, everything that we talk about is, it's been out there for millions and millions of years. So there's, you know, we just all look at it with a different perspective or a different idea or a different spin on it, but we're all trying to figure out what works. And I can tell you that two-part letter works for me. It may not work for somebody else listening to the program. They may be like, that's not going to work. You won't know unless you try it. And by the way, there's a lot of things that have been recommended to me that do not work and I go, no, that didn't work for me, but this did. And so I think that's kind of, that's kind of a fun thing because you can, I can take from so many great mentors, coaches, masters, books, articles, blogs, podcasts. There's so much available today that was not available, not even 10 years ago, you know. And how beautiful is that that today we have accessibility to such amazing wellness? Mm-hmm. I mean, no, that's awesome advice. I've never heard that one before, but I would suggest anybody who's listening, try it because that could be something that you're struggling with a personal problem, a mental health problem, a business problem, a family problem, whatever it is. It's incredible at how often the answers are so simple. It's just forcing you to come to terms with those answers by, you know, by asking yourself, right? Yeah. After you write it all out like, what's wrong? And then, then you write, you know, your name, dear Debs, and then you write, here's why. And then you write it, why, you know, it's, it's very, very telling because it really does in some beautiful way. I don't want to use the word forceful way because it's not a forced way if you do it really from your heart, it's like really just really looking at your part in the situation of why something's happening.