Lessons - Japan's Most Famous Money Author on Why Rich People Are Still Anxious | Ken Honda - Author of Happy Money (8M+ Books Sold)

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In this lessons episode, discover why money can become tied to survival, self-worth, and the pursuit of more.

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Understand how redefining success and knowing when enough is enough can change that relationship.

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Explore why focusing on creating value allows money to follow and uncover how finding the right environment can unlock greater fulfillment.

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Money is still so intrinsically tied to self-perception and self-worth.

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And yes, it's not a normal practice when you go bankrupt to kill yourself and your family, but it also happens in some cases where people kill themselves when they go bankrupt or they lose someone money or they make a bad investment.

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Why do we have this incredibly, for the majority of people, toxic relationship with money?

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That's a good question, Scott.

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I think it's because it's tied up with our survival.

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A few hundred years ago, when we were all farmers, we just grew our own food.

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But since many of us moved to the city after 1800, when the industrial revolution was happening in UK, we were in the city.

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All the workers were moving to the city.

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And in the city, you have to pay for your food, pay for water, pay for a roof above your head.

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So you need money for survival.

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If you have your own land and if you grow your own food, you don't need money.

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But in a city, you need money to keep going.

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So I think money was tied up with survival in our head.

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So no money means no life.

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And so we get scared when we are fired because that means like death, right?

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Yeah.

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We can't provide.

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We can't live.

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Yeah.

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I mean, you don't die instantly, right, on the spot.

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But gradually, you lose money.

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You cannot pay for the food.

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You can pay for the house.

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You end up being homeless, and then in cold weather, you die.

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You know, that is a vision, right?

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So we are so scared of losing money.

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We are so scared that our bank account number goes down.

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Because that means like a closer to death, right?

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So that's why we are fearful of making mistakes.

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Because if we keep making mistakes, we're going to get fired.

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We're going to lose job.

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Nobody is going to hire us if we are freelance.

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And then we're going to die.

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But anyway, we feel like we are so fearful and we are so worried that less money or no money,

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equals death.

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That's why we think money is so important.

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So we are so afraid of making mistakes.

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We are so afraid of losing money.

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Now,

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You teach this lesson over to people, but I'm very curious about in your life, because yes, you had that, you had the interest in money because it had such an important place in your life growing up and you started to research it.

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But even if you started to research, you would probably be interested in it.

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You'd be interested in making it.

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You started a business at 20.

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You retired at 29 because there was some success, but your perception of money changed.

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What caused your perception of money to just starting a business would not change your perception of money.

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In fact, going through what you went through with your dad and his friend, it would almost create this highly negative perception of money.

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So how did you have this sort of this awakening moment where you were like, money is not actually a bad thing.

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And I'm my whole life is going to flip the script on how I perceive money.

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Yes.

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You know, I thought money was very negative.

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But once I started making money, I realized that, you know, I...

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I was wrong.

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You know, money is fun.

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It is.

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It is fun.

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Yeah.

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And in English, I heard the expression, I don't like it.

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I love it.

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I'm learning English now.

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So, you know, that's how I felt.

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So in my early 20s, I was making more money, and then I became suddenly very popular among men and women.

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A lot of people wanted to spend time with me.

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And I was just...

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Oh, my God, money.

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I thought money was bad, but money is good.

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And then I was addicted to making money.

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And then one day I realized, oh, wait a second.

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Unless I just say when this is enough, this is going to be dangerous.

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I sensed that.

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Because one time I had this conversation with a very wealthy man who had a public company already.

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So I wanted to know, I was in my 20s, I wanted to know when he started feeling successful.

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Was that like when he was 25 or when he started business and the money was pouring in?

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Or was that when he was 30, when he took his company to public?

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Think of Steve Jobs, you know.

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When he invented Apple, he didn't feel he was successful.

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You know, probably he felt successful.

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That was the idea.

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So I asked him this question and I was so surprised when he said, he was thinking for a second.

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And then he said, I don't think I'm successful.

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And then, wait a minute.

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He has a big company with thousands of employees.

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Are you serious?

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And I said, yeah, because I don't have a private jet.

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And his definition of success is that if you have a private jet or not, right?

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Japan is a small country.

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You don't need a jet even if you're successful, right?

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And then, oh, wait a second.

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And then later on, I met a man who had a private jet.

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And I asked the same question.

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And he said, no, no, I'm just a small potato.

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I feel so small whenever I go to the special terminal, right?

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And then look at my plane from my Mercedes.

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My plane is so small.

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It seats only six people.

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And here are all the other giant...

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in jumbo jets with Arabian kings and entrepreneurs.

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So mine is like a bicycle.

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So I'm not wealthy.

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So unless you say this is enough, this money-making life will never end.

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You had a mentor at one point, and I don't know if it's one of the individuals that you mentioned, and let me know if it was, but this mentor told you when you spoke to him about money, he had told you the first thing about money is to not focus on money or something along the lines of that.

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Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

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Explain what that means.

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Help the listeners understand and maybe give some context as to who this person is and why he would give you this advice.

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Yeah, so I asked my mentor in my early 20s, I want to be wealthy.

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Give me a tip.

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And then I was expecting business tips or investment tips and all that.

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And he said, if you want to be wealthy, forget about money.

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And I said, what?

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If you forget about money, how can I be wealthy?

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And he is my Zen master.

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And his teaching was very Zen because he asked me more questions than I did.

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So his questions led me into thinking deeper and deeper and started to understand about what life is all about.

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And so he shifted so many things in me

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After he said, I forget about money, I focused on what he meant by that.

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And then I realized that if you forget about money, you focus on what you do.

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You focus on what you can give to other people, your clients, and your future customers.

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And if you focus truly on your customers and how to make them satisfied or entertain them or solve their problems, and then as a result, money will follow you.

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If you think of money, you try to cut the cost, you try to think that on your benefit.

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So, yeah.

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You try to get profit from them.

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So the arrow goes this way for me.

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And what he meant was like, you have to focus, the arrow should be for you.

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And if you become for you person, people will just want to do business with you.

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But if the arrow goes for me,

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Nobody wants to do anything with you because you always try to cut a good deal for you, not for your customers and friends.

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You're self-serving as opposed to giving value, as opposed to giving more, and you don't expect anything in return.

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Yes.

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Just putting, yes, I love this.

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Yeah, so he said you forget about money, but he didn't explain more, so I had to think.

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But isn't that the best question though?

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The best questions force you to think.

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It's a concept, you know, you're known as one of the sort of the names you go by as the Zen millionaire.

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Zen is obviously very important to you and very meaningful and this whole framework of like asking these thoughtful questions that require you to think deeper.

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and go below the surface.

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If you would help somebody understand maybe why Zen is important, but more than Zen, the concept of asking questions to help you look at the world in a different way and maybe a better way,

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Can you explain that and help people understand the questions they should be asking themselves that could unlock a different view towards money, towards wealth, towards success, even like an exercise somebody could do right now that is in a really dark place?

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Right.

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So, you know, every once in a while we fall into this dark place that nothing works and then people around us seem to be very cold or indifferent or sometimes mean.

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It's because our world, our inner world is made of anger, resentment and frustration.

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And that will be projected out.

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So when you are having a hard time or just struggling, you have to breathe in deep and then relax.

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And you can have a different life.

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But in order to do that, you have to take a look at your life in a totally different way.

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The reason why you have financial issues, for example, is that you're making too little and spending too much.

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And you're in the wrong place.

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But if you just find your own reserved seat, which means that if you find a good environment to lift you up, you will do well.

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you happen to be in a bad place at the bad timing.

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So you have to find who you are and what you're good at.

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And if you do more of what you're good at, you get promoted.

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You get paid well.

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And you get moved to a place where people respect you, love you, and appreciate you.

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So you have to find the right place for you.

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It takes time.

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Sometimes it takes a few years, but it's okay.

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Because life is a fun trip or process to find your best place, find your best partner, find your best friends, and you can surround them with the people that you care about.

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it doesn't really matter where you're stopped.

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Entrance is not the most important place.

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Exit is very important.

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Where you end up is more important because it doesn't really matter if you just junior high school dropout or Harvard graduate school graduate because what you end up doing

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It means a lot more.

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So focus on what you can give instead of what you have done or you haven't done.

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Thanks for tuning in.

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And if you want to dive deeper into this conversation, check out the links in the description to watch the full episode.

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See you in the next one.