Lessons - How T.D. Jakes' Daughter Built Her Own Empire Without His Name | Sarah Jakes Roberts - Pastor & Bestselling Author

In this lessons episode, discover how owning your power means recognizing your value without diminishing others. Learn how to navigate power dynamics by honoring what others bring to the table. Understand why asking the right questions builds stronger partnerships and explore how staying grounded in identity helps create meaningful growth without losing yourself. When you own your power, it does not mean asserting absolute power over other people. That is not owning your power. And I think that that is very important. So I don't want somebody to listen to this and then try and own their power and turn it to an asshole. And that's not good. And don't send us any letters. We did not boost anybody up into doing that. Yeah. So, okay. So owning your power, I think you have to start to understand if you own your power, like you mentioned with your husband and when you get into business relations, uh, business conversations is very different than asserting dominance in every situation. So step two, after owning your power, talk about power dynamics, talk about understanding how to engage throughout, you know, throughout your day, throughout life, throughout business. Okay, I will give you a great example because my husband and I, we moved to Dallas. My father has been leading this community and organization for over 20 plus years, but he's at a season where he's considering what transition and succession looks like for him. And so we're blending ideas. We've got two different perspectives from two different generations, two different definitions of what success looks like and definitions of what power looks like. And so I will tell you that I, I believe in the power of what I bring to the table. I believe that I understand what's important to this generation. I believe that I understand what detracts them from coming into rooms and what attracts them. When you are owning your power in a space where you are navigating power dynamics, you have to understand the power that the other person brings to the table. Not just that they are a decision maker, but maybe they have proven experience in a field that they don't even understand is changing yet. Because I think we see this a lot in generational shifts where they don't even realize that like, people aren't doing that anymore. People don't talk that way anymore. People don't navigate rooms in this way anymore. And so they're married to a concept that once had power that doesn't have power anymore. If you are going to blend power dynamics You have to honor the power that the other person possesses. And by honoring it, it means that you can't come in there and just be like, this is dumb. This is nobody does. It's old. It's antiquated because you have robbed yourself of an alliance you need in order to successfully transition from one way of doing things to another way of doing things or a blended way of doing things. When you say something negative about a person's expression or a way that things have been done, you automatically lose out on an ally that you need. So in navigating power dynamics, you have to honor the power that the other person possesses. so that they are more willing to incorporate your perspective, your views into how things can become better. When I see younger generations working with older generations, I know that they're very zealous and they want to get their ideas out and they want to tell them all of the ways that they can change things. But I think that they end up doing that at the detriment of making the other person feel old, antiquated, and no longer useful. And that shuts them down. And so in order to really build a bridge that is worthy of two generations crossing, you have to honor what the other person brings to the table. And I think that's in a relationship and in business because my husband... He's more of a macro thinker. I'm more of a micro thinker. And so I need his macro perspective of things, but he needs me to be micro because I'm going to execute it and get it done. And so we have to honor the power that the other person possesses. That's amazing. When you go into a relationship or a business engagement, because with your husband, you know how he works and you know what he brings to the table. When you're going into a conversation with somebody new and you're doing a negotiation or you're trying to figure out how to do a deal together, How do you, going to that discussion, figure out how that person operates quickly so that you can figure out whether or not you should bring more or sort of take a step back? I'm constantly asking questions. When we walk into potential business partnerships, I think that we often oversell ourselves and we don't hear enough from the other person. And if you're not sure about what you bring to the table, you can oversell yourself trying to prove that you deserve to be in the room and then miss out on the opportunity to work. fully understand who it is that you're sitting across from. And so generally when we're talking about partnership, it's because we have something that the other person could benefit from and they have something that we could benefit from. And so understanding how they have been able to provide value to previous clients or partners. to understand just from the, to the extent that they're able to share what it is that they feel like they can offer to you, to ask them questions about where do you feel like you have an opportunity for growth within your organization? What does dreaming look like for you? What does success look like for you? Because I need to understand whether or not this is a temporary partnership or something that has potential for longevity. And that helps me when I understand what their ultimate goals are. Understanding what their turnover is, what type of organization is this, because I hate doing business with the dealmaker. And then when it's time for me to actually work with the people who are going to execute, those people are constantly turning over. And so who would directly be dealing with that? I mean, there are all kinds of questions to understand what power they bring to the table and whether or not it's going to be valuable for you and for how long it will be valuable to you. You know, so you've mentioned three questions that you should ask a partner before you get into a marriage with them or an engagement. You mentioned, uh, what is your shared experience? I'm telling you in case you don't remember when you, when you put these out into the world. No, no, I got you. I'm not that bad. I'm not going to make you remember every interview you've ever done. But you suggested, what are your shared expressions of faith? What is the most traumatic experience you've had in your life? And how does that basically show up in your present? What brings you joy? And you mentioned these three questions before you engage with a partner. I was curious, do you have questions? And you can just think of them on the fly, just meaningful questions that you think you'd ask somebody before you get into a business relationship with them. Okay, so you're putting me on the spot. So, you know. Okay, so I would say what made you start? Because I want to hear the passion and purpose behind how you got to wherever you are. I want to hear about a time where you almost quit. Because if you're in business and you haven't almost quit. Yeah, you're full of it. Like, cause don't lie to me. Maybe you didn't pull the plug. Maybe you didn't fire anybody. But tell me about a time where you thought to yourself, I almost quit. And maybe what kept you going? I like that. Those are good. Cause those are, see, listen, you'd be a good podcaster. You have these like beautiful open-ended questions. No, they're very good. They're very good. Because then you start to see the real person, which at the end of the day, I mean, business is just human to human. And I think people forget that too. Like you're just doing business with other people. Everything is so transactional. And then I think COVID and Zoom probably didn't help, but it's all human to human at the end of the day. Um, talk to me about, so you built out, um, women evolve. So we're talking about concepts and ideas that can help anybody, but talk to me about the movement behind women evolve. What, what is the, the, the unique value that women evolve. brings to the table? What is the unique problem you're trying to solve for? Because you mentioned you talk to a whole bunch of different groups. You talk to people of color, underrepresented minorities. You speak to people, just the world at large. Obviously, Women Evolve is focused on women. So what's the problem? Okay, so Woman Evolve is solving a problem for people who wanted to, women in general, who wanted to believe in something bigger than themselves, but also did not want to lose themselves in the process of it. So I grew up in church and I was a teen mother. And so I grew up in church, but I really didn't feel like it was a part of my life. It wasn't something that I could really plug into. And then I also grew up on 90s hip hop and rap. And I'm just like, I don't think that the two could ever meet. And when I started Woman Evolve, I was, you know, sharing my story, but I also wanted to create an environment where someone felt safe enough to bring all of themselves into a room where they could connect with like-minded people and, you know, and have an encounter that was intentional and spiritual, but also practical in helping them to navigate health and wellness and pursuing their dreams and their goals and to leave with tools and resources. And so it started off, I was thinking about it just as an event, where I wanted to create an environment where these women felt safe enough. A lot of times for women's events, we have events for corporate women. We have events for entrepreneurs or just spiritual events. And I'm like, how do we create a space that incorporates all of who a woman is so she can bring all of herself into a space? From there, it kind of offshoot. We've got a podcast, a subscription on the main channel. We've got a really intentional social media following and devotional and courses, Because what I learned is that though the events were great, that they really wanted to figure out how do I walk this out day to day. And so our job then began to create content and connection points that allowed for them to continue what happened in that room and incorporate it into their day to day lives. And so from that space, we've gotten an opportunity to be really creative about understanding market needs. and creating the type of content that is accessible and also robust enough to fulfill them in the areas where they felt they had left. I'm curious why you mentioned this, and it's interesting. Why, when women, I don't know, try and build or upskill or take themselves to the next level, why did you say that sometimes women lose themselves? I don't know. man, first of all, a woman who has decided to scale in any way outside of what society accepts is... really being rebellious in a way that I think we underestimate. We're rebelling against status quo. We're rebelling against norms. Sometimes we're rebelling against what's acceptable within our culture. And I don't think we realize when we begin to pursue whatever scaling looks like for us just how difficult it's going to be to establish ourselves outside of what has been accepted. And I think in the process of trying to establish ourselves that we I'm an analogy person. So if you can imagine someone like breaking outside of their norm, leaving their comfort zone, You know, maybe they get a tent, maybe they get an apartment. It takes a minute before you decide where you're going to build a house. And I think that a lot of people get lost in between the breakout and the establishing. And it takes a person of real humility and commitment to keep going, even in the midst of that discouragement. And so I think Women Evolve and others like it, there's so many incredible brands that that dedicate themselves to meeting people in that middle ground are meant to help you keep going so you don't snap back into what was comfortable, but maybe not constructive.