Lessons - Building a Strong Personal Brand | Natasha Graziano - Author, Speaker & Podcaster

So you're just posting, when did you actually think, oh my God, I have some momentum here, I can actually turn this into something like, where did you look and see, because I know when I started my show, I was looking at other people that have built audiences and shows and I'm like, if they can do that, I can do that. So who is that person for you? Wow, I love that. The person that was for me was a fashion influencer. I just looked at her at the time and just thought, if she's earning money, she's a set home mom, she's earning money just from wearing clothes, I can do this too, you know, like I can go and broke some sexy clothes and look cool and throw them on and earn some money and get myself out of the situation I'm in, like that's what I wanted to do. I just, that was all I could think of at the time. It was nothing greater than that in fact, I didn't have a bigger goal at the time. You ever self-conscious putting it out there? Yeah, I think everyone's self-conscious at points, you know, I felt insecure and I had imposter syndrome and I felt like, if I don't, if I don't do this girl, people are going to hate on it or comment on it, now hates like a part of my story, like, you know, you sent me out, if you don't have haters, then you're not successful. Like, that's a part of your story, but I didn't know that at the time. So I was tiptoeing around putting up a pose and I was, I was scared. I was like, oh, no, if I, if I don't put this up, if I do put this up, somebody's going to write this and you're always self-conscious, but it's about overcoming that fear. Fear is just false evidence appearing real, allowing that, say that again, say that again. What is what fear is false evidence appearing real? It's not real. It's something that you've built up in the constraints of your own mind. You've built up a wall around you of limitations, which only exist in your own mind. They don't actually exist in your life. They, then there's no wall look. There's no wall around us right now, okay, maybe here in the studio, but there's no actual wall saying Natasha, you can't do this or Hannah or Martin or whoever's listening. You can't do this. It's just a wall in my own mind and you have to overcome that. You have to step back and say, I'm going to break that wall down. You know how hard that is? You know how hard, because ever since a young age, like you put yourself out there, you get bullied. You're different, you're bullied. You're really fun of, right? True it all. It happens to most people in their life. So to put yourself out, not even in your own friend group or your peer group or your family to put yourself out on social is like incredibly scary. So you started doing this. You had no money. You life kind of sucked at that point for you and you were just trying to like, put something under the world. I'm sure there was like a little bit of like, you know, feel good about yourself, put yourself out there. But when did it actually start to be something that you actually wanted to double down on? When was this like, okay, I saw an influencer doing it. I'm doing it. I'm mirroring that behavior. When did you see that inflection point where you're like, I'm getting some traction and now I can build this brand off of this thing that a lot of people just take as a hobby. So this is so interesting actually Scott. So what happened was I started to change my captions instead of saying something about the brand, like, you know, wearing this today, I would start talking around mindset. I would start talking around techniques and tangible takeaways and quotes from my favorite philosophers that could help people with their day to day. So the picture became almost a way to lure in the right audience that I wanted and then the caption was where the magic was that the caption was like the honey and the picture was the bees to the honey. And that was the way that I drew it in because I realized once I started posting about this, the pictures started taking off because they were more than just a picture. Sometimes I put a quote on the picture and you know, you see a lot of coaches do that sort of thing. I do that sort of thing now. And I realized that when you start posting about something greater, something bigger that is offering value to other people. So that was in my caption at the time. People were just loving it and it started to build traction and engagement and I was like, I'm building a community. And then when I realized I had a community, I was like, great. So I'm actually wanting to really transition who I am and what I am in the world. And then you know, I went through some crazy times in my life, but yeah, a lot of crazy stuff's happened in my life. And so going from being an influencer, you know, who was also dabbling in crazy situations in my life at the time, I was a webcam girl, you know, bloody hell, I got two sex tapes released on me. But all of the shit is just a part of my story. It's a part of my narrative. When all of that happened, I then didn't realize, I'm sorry, I'm going off on a tangent and you know, I want to just ask, are you happy you went through that? No, I have to say, I, not in like, I loved it at the time. Yeah, yeah. And are you happy as to who you are coming out of that? You think you would have been the same person or do you think you're stronger because of it? I'm stronger because of it. That had to happen to me. That had to happen to me. I was a drug addict. I was, you know, paying for a drug addiction. And so the only thing I could do to continue this horrendous addiction I had was do something that brought you in fast cash money. And for me at the time that was, you know, doing all that stuff and my body was exploited, heavily exploited. And the same people that are in charge of human trafficking and terrible, terrible things that happened to girls in the world now are the same people who probably exploited my body back then. And we don't know, you know, who, what, why when? But we just move on from it and know that if I didn't go through that, I wouldn't be where I am today now changing lives, saving lives on stage yesterday, saving lives the week before on stage. I wouldn't be who I am today and speaking for women and for men who have been exploited, have been sexually abused, who have been through anything in their life, even dealing with a narcissist, having been through some way that they've created a skeleton if you want in their closet for themselves and feel like I can't go on because I'm, you know, I was such a terrible person. You know, I do not sit and think, God, I, that was a terrible, I think it was terrible things that was involved in, but I don't sit for one day and think if that, I shouldn't have done it. I needed to go through what I needed to go through to get to where I am now. Success is not success without failure. If I didn't go through the most depressing hard time of my life, then I wouldn't have been hit with homelessness, which was the wake up call to say, honey, stop what you're doing. Stop what you're doing. And then I didn't listen when the universe throws at you physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially, mentally and every way. And then the illness hit me and that was the physical pain I went through. And when I hit that, when that hit me, that was the wake up call. That was the final wake up call I needed. And that was in, I had the illness in 2018 and, you know, that was painful. And okay, so you are at an all time low at this point. Yeah. Of course, that's a wake up call, but it's not easy to just change your life like on a dime like that. Like you have to figure out, you know, okay, so the stuff that I'm doing to make money is not what I want to do in five, 10 years from now, like, you know, I want to have a family. I want to, you know, maybe pursue a more traditional way of trying to grow a business and I want to work. So absolutely. So I realized, you know, at the time that bear in mind, I was high most of them. I don't remember half the shit that I did in the webcam. I was high. I couldn't even tell you that you got fucked up so that you didn't have to deal with the reality of what you were experiencing and it was a vicious cycle. Yeah. It was a vicious cycle. So you know, I was just young and dumb. And when you go through that and when you come out the other side, you realize, that's not a way of life. That's never, I would never choose to do that now. Of course, this is 10 years ago. When I did all the, the, the stuff this was 10 years ago, you know, the illness only hit me years later. I'd already stopped all of this stuff. But it was, you know, 10 to seven years ago, it was when all this was, it was like 2022, 2023, 2023, sorry, back on the wrong day, 2013. 2013. Yeah, wait a second. That's the future. Yeah. Yeah, you know, this is like 2013, 2014, 2015, so we're, you know, we're talking way back. Yeah. Okay. So how did you pick yourself up? What was your, what was your point? Like, what is your, when did you find your why? Because I think that that's what drives a lot of people. Yeah. They find their why. Yeah. Now you have a why that's very impactful. Now you want to change lives. Now I know you have, you have non-profit ambitions that you want to help people overseas unless, you know, in, in, in countries that are not doing as well as we are here. But when did you find that why? How did you find, how did you find that why? When I, when I felt pregnant, when I got pregnant with my son, he was born in 2016, so in, in 2015, when I found my why. As soon as I got pregnant, I just went, oh my God, you know, I'd already stopped doing all my crazy shit from the year before that. And like, 2014, but 2015 was when it was like, wow, this is a wake up call. This is a massive, massive wake up call for me. And I just ran from it, you know, I just like, I was like, how am I going to be a mom? And then I started getting into a very dark place, you know, the dark place after I gave birth to my son was what led me to being suicidal and then homeless. You know, I'd already stopped all of this stuff way before, but because of this series of events, I let me- You saw how to fix yourself. How to fix myself and the fear ate me up in the shame and the guilt. And if you live with that scarcity mentality, if you live with that thing in your mind, you will end up on the street, you will, you will take yourself from your family, from your friends, you will alienate yourself in your own mind. And that's exactly what I did. So how did that lead me to being who I am today, helping millions of people, being a mindset coach, being empowered, being, you know, helping nonprofits, et cetera, and being involved in charity and philanthropy, because that why, if having my child and watching my child alone, watching him and not being able to be there for him in the way I wanted to be at the beginning, not being able to be the most, you know, empowered mother. I wanted to then be a role model to him, but not only to him, I wanted to go on to be a role model to people in the world. I wanted to go on to be a role model to help millions of people, hundreds of millions people, the same way that I picked myself up the ground. The same way that I took myself when I was on the floor, when I had nothing, when I was broken, when I was suicidal, when I was having anxiety attacks, three a day, if I managed to pick myself up the floor, you can too. And that's why I wanted to show the world. That's why I created my MBS method, my meditational behavioral synchronicity, which I've been giving away for free for years now, and we have, you know, a membership program of course we can get into like a more exclusive version of it, but the MBS method was born out of me understanding how to meditate and how to take myself away from the craziness of the world and how to go inward, how to go into a higher state of awareness, how to go into my higher mind faculty. The stuff that you were doing to fix and help and heal yourself. Yes. These are the things and now you teach over, which makes a ton of sense. Yes. I want to go into MBS. I don't want to go there just yet. Yeah. What I want to do first is I want to understand your playbook for building your personal brand because I want to sort of showcase how you use your social and now that is a kick off point for launching MBS, for writing a book for the speaking engagement you're at last night and all the other ones. So you have a formula that works on Instagram, you, you know, you're building a community on Instagram. When do you start to monetize and how did you monetize what's your strategy for somebody that would want to say, okay, I have my own community, I want to build my own community. She's done it. So now she has 10 million plus followers and obviously the opportunities for her have opened up. Totally. So how do you do that? Okay. So you can easily monetize from, from 10,000 followers. I mean, you can monetize at any point. The thing about it is exactly what you said is about building a community. It's about having people trust you. People look at three things when they come to a brand. Number one, what value are you offering? Okay. So what value are you offering? Who are you? What's your story? What's your USP? Your unique selling point? Are you offering to the world? What content are you posting? What are you putting out there? That's the very first thing they're looking at. The second thing they're looking at is who are you associated with? So when they come onto your page, they want to see you alongside, you know, you've had Joe Vitale on your, on your show, you've had me on your show, you've had Jack Campbell on your show. Some incredible minds on there, right? I love how I just put myself in that box. Okay. You've had some amazing, amazing people who show, so when somebody comes to your page, they know, oh, I know Dr. Joe Vitale and Jack Campbell from the secret. So I trust them already. So therefore I trust Scott because I'm already seeing people that I trust on your page, right? And that's the same thing with anyone that's listening. Who are you associated with? So who is on your page with you? Who's speaking for you? Who are you showing up with? And that can be testimonials that can be people you're doing zooms with, people you're collaborating with, people promoting your brand. However it is, who is alongside you? And then number three, where have they seen you? What publications have they seen you in? Who's speaking about you in the press? Have you been in Forbes? Have you been in Trip Noir? Have you been in business inside of what publications have you been in? What TV shows have you been on? That is what people look at. Those three things. And if you can take every one of those boxes and you have, doesn't matter the size of the following, but of course the numbers help and I'll tell you why now. Every time I knocked at a door when I started my career and I didn't have many followers on there, maybe tens of thousands versus hundreds of thousands at the time, I would knock on the door. And if I didn't have a blue tick, people are not quick to answer the door because you're just the same as everybody else on the platform. However, if you knock at the door and you have hundreds of thousands, or I am now with millions and millions and millions, tens of millions of followers, then you knock at the door and you go to blue tick next to you, it's not knock who's there. Oh, it's you. Insanely validated social proof, yeah, yeah, yeah, instantly validated social proof. Your validity has gone up, your credibility has gone up. So anything that comes out your mouth now is already on a pedestal and on top of that, you then offer value. So you swoop in there with value. So it comes from a value mindset offering value. I was saying somebody earlier when I was on their show, I was saying, if you do something for somebody else and you make them happy first, they will go out of their way to make you happy and return. They will go out of their way to do something back for you. That's the law of reciprocity. That's the law of reciprocity. So give first off a value first. And when you knock on that door, give value and say, hi, this is what I can do for you. I've got 10 million followers on my Instagram. I've got five million followers on my TikTok. I've got another million on my YouTube. So, you know, we're adding up and my email database. We're adding up to near 20 million. Let's go. I didn't get them done. My math's wrong, all right. But what I'm talking about, yeah, just somewhere in the big numbers and calls. So this is what I can do for you. Do you want to do XYZ together? You're offering them monumental numbers or, let's say, you don't have those numbers. You're listening and saying, like, I don't have those numbers. What can I do? What can you do? Tell me what can you do? Do you have a great email list? Do you have a linked in platform? Do you have a group of community every Saturday that you host in your local community with 300 people? Any of this is more eyes on you. Any of this is more eyes on them. Eyes on you is the eyes on them and that is what you offer visibility. You offer something that's adding value to them first before you ask, so I started my career. No, I was going to say that was the good point. And I know that's how you started to grow it, but you're not only offering value to the people that you're doing business with, you're also consistently offering value to the audience and the community. And that's how you build it. That's how they trust you. That's why you have the 10 million followers. And something that you said before even started filming in the other room was really interesting to me. You've never actually filled out a speaker application before. I didn't even know what it was. And how many have you done now? Oh, well, in terms of like speaking engagement. Oh, speaking engagement. Yeah, yeah. No, no, how many speaking app? Yeah, a lot. A lot. We're not into the hundreds yet. No, but like people come to you. Yeah. So the whole point I'm trying to make is social is social is like the equalizer in terms of a business can go spend money on PR, a business can go sponsor a conference and go get their CEO to speak at a keynote. But what you can do is you can constantly post nonstop on social build a community and all of a sudden you have the same act stop opportunities that somebody who's spending a million, five million, ten million dollars would only have access to. It's hard to get PR for free. It's hard to get speaking engagement for free if you have no audience. Absolutely. The best way they say to sell a book. Yeah. Go on stage. Yeah, 100%. Sell your business right now is speak on other people's stages.