Lessons - Why No One Really Hears What You're Saying | Dr. Mark Goulston - Dying Expert, International Keynote Speaker & Author

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All listeners can save 30% off their first order. Just head to cornbreadhemp.com slash success and use code success at checkout. That's cornbread hemp.com slash success code success for 30% off your first order of these amazing gummies. In this lessons episode, discover how to communicate effectively and captivate your audience, whether you're pitching to investors or building personal connections, learn the power of being compelling to open minds and convincing to close deals as well as insights into understanding and addressing what your audience truly wants. You understand communication exceptionally well and everything that you've done if you go back and I think you were at one point a hostage negotiation trainer. So I mean listening communication is paramount and if you don't have a message it resonates with the audience, keep in mind my audience is significantly lower risk in terms of disappointing than somebody who's holding a hostage. I think that's a high stakes game than that podcast listener driving on their way to work, but the point is you still have to communicate in a way that it resonates with them where they don't tune you out and they don't say oh this is a waste of my time. So you've nailed it 100% you've nailed it. So where do we go? So let's build on what you just said. Something I do with accelerators and their cohorts is I will often do a presentation on how to pitch to investors after you run out of friends and family money. And something the CEO of some of these accelerators say my people love this when you bring it up and and again when I'm there speaking to these startups I'll say how many of you have ever pitched to an investor and you smile and you think it's a yes and you think oh good they're going to give me money they're going to invest and it's not a yes and what I say is investors don't smile it's about money they're smiling to be polite because in the first five or 10 minutes of what you've said they already know it's a no but they don't want to insult you because you put so much effort into that deck of yours you know they don't want to have to four slides and you got 40 to say I think I've seen enough goodbye. So they smile and when I when I've done this with their groups you know three of the people say that happened to me yesterday I said well you know don't call it on the money happening and and I say this is what they're listening for because one of the most compelling things you can do and I have another saying you want to be compelling to open people's minds to earn the right to be convincing about what you're trying to sell them and too often people are so passionate about what they're trying to sell that they are convincing too soon and what's on your investor's mind and this is what I tell them is I say if you've had enough of those smiles which turned out to be nose here's a suggestion modify it to fit your language and when they smile like that and you know it's a no you stop all the slides and you say oh can we pause for a moment and they're going to get nervous because you caught them not wanting to be rude to you the gaha you caught that you but just a quick point before you go just a quick how do you know just you're saying that when they're actually smiling on the zoom call that is a very like a significant indicator that they're not going to proceed so the smile is them tuning out and saying no as opposed to if they're focused and concentrated and like kind of like what I could do when I'm trying to pay attention you frown and you focus that's more of an indicator so you're saying the smile is the red flag I think it's a red flag I'll tell you what would make them smile and this is one of the ways you can address it is is you and even if they're smiling and it's a good smile leading to a yes you pause and you say when we when I started this presentation we were like this I need money you have money you know and you came here because I'm possibly a company that you're going to give money to and now we're like this where this is you with money that I'm never going to see and here is me and hopefully that's intriguing because it shows so much self-awareness and you could say let me see if I get what you were listening for that you didn't hear or you didn't hear yet and maybe you don't think you'll ever hear it's kind of like what I said about you and your audiences now chances are you're not pitching to the head of an investment company you know you're pitching to someone is lower down you know maybe probably not even a partner and you're and what you say is I think you're listening for a unicorn because there's a good chance that you may have brought in some non unicorns and there may even be a chance that you've brought in some businesses that really made people question your judgment like what were you thinking and is it possible that you're listening for a unicorn for that grand slam home run when you bring it back they say how much can we put in you know when can you secure this so am I reading you right or wrong that you're listening for something that'll be that special and given what I've already told you it doesn't seem like this is that special so do you follow me you're you're tracking with something and here are the two things also just I talked about be compelling to open and convincing to close I was an advisor in the OJ Simpson trial to the prosecution and and one of the ways to be compelling is for the other person to think of the state of themselves I never would have thought of that ever and that is relevant to our problem so I shared some so what we're doing is we're good glad sorry so I shared something with the district attorney in LA and I said you know when you're picking a jury this might go this might be what one of the things you should look for and he went back to Marsha Clark and then he came back and he said we never ever would have thought of that and it's the elephant of the room and I don't talk much about it because they lost and again I'm not an opportunist I sent them 150 pages of faxes and they said you know 80% of your stuff is really off the wall crazy but 20% of it is just it's startling and they wouldn't tell me what which are my input they use although occasionally one of the prosecutors would say watch the trial tomorrow you might notice something and so so what's compelling is that I just main drop the OJ Simpson trial that wasn't bad and but also people thinking I never would have thought of that ever and that's relevant a huge shout out to bank on yourself for supporting today's episode entrepreneurs here's the retirement secret that Wall Street doesn't want you to know while you are pouring everything into growing your business they want you gambling your future in their 401k casino with no guarantees as a business owner you already take enough risks why gamble with your retirement to it is time to discover the financial strategy smart entrepreneurs are using to protect their wealth bank on yourself is the proven approach that gives business owners what they need most certainty flexibility and control in their retirement unlike traditional retirement 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anything she's I wonder what other things you know about me I wonder what other insights you have into me so I think those are the two best first impressions if you want to engage someone if that's what triggers what they're thinking and so again talking circling back to investors you know there is a good chance that they're listening for a unicorn and by the way if they say you know they may not be forthcoming they might say well that makes sense because they don't want to give up you know because they're all control freaks well that makes sense and they can say look if you can tell me what a unicorn would look like so that you could recognize it and it doesn't have to be something you brought into your investment firm it could be any unicorn that someone brought in and when they were celebrating it you know what were some of the things that made it such a unicorn and here's the other thing that I did with these cohorts they said uh and and if you can get them to scribe what a unicorn looks like because they're looking their lips to find it uh you can say oh we actually have that but that would have been slides 30 to 35 and you would have been asleep by then or I love this or you uh you know that that is so specific I don't have it we don't have it but there's three companies in my cohort that do and I'm happy to make an introduction and I'm not looking for a referral fee I'm looking for you to be successful and I'm looking for them to be successful and then you make the introduction and uh and you're generous with no strings attached because that will enable you to go back to that investor and to go back to those members of your cohort because you focused on their success other than your own can I can I tell you a funny anecdote please yeah so I'm going to speak in Moscow and again my books are done pretty well and one of their biggest uh business publications it's called RBC it's I think it's like fortune or Forbes and because I'm coming there my books are so well known uh I get a call from Ilia and Ilia says to me I talk to Gulston I know you're coming to a Moscow and I'm uh I'm I'm assigned to do an interview with you and I said Ilia it's good to meet you can I tell you the one and only thing that I'm concerned about what is that doctor Gulston the only thing I'm concerned about is that you write an article that gets you a big raise of promotion it's the only thing I care about that's the good news the bad news is uh as my good friend Scott knows I kind of talk in tangents I throw in this story I throw in this insight so uh it's going to be up to you to somehow pull it all together to write such an article and here's the proof of method uh a building that kind of generosity I go to Moscow and the person planning the event said uh uh Dr. Gulston do you remember the interview you did with uh uh for RBC I said yes they said it's been viewed four hundred and sixty five thousand times and it's in the top ten number of views of any article in the history of the publication so there was something about that I should reach out to Ilia and say how are you doing but you know we're in kind of a war zone yeah but can you see how that could work thanks for tuning in if you found this valuable don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode and if you want to dive deeper into this conversation check out the links in the description to watch the full episode see you in the next one