Lessons - What Is Money Trauma? | Ken Honda - Japan's #1 Money Psychology Expert

In this lessons episode, discover how deep-seated money trauma from childhood shapes financial decisions and limits potential. Learn why healing these early wounds is essential for personal and professional growth and understand how forgiveness and compassion at reflection can transform your relationship with money. You're known as one of the names you go by is the Zen millionaire. Zen is obviously very important to you and very meaningful in this whole framework of asking these thoughtful questions that require you to think deeper and go be at the go below the surface. If you would help somebody understand maybe why Zen is important but more than Zen, the concept of asking questions to help you look at the world in a different way and maybe a better way, explain that and help people understand the questions they should be asking themselves that could unlock a different view towards money, towards wealth, towards success, even like an exercise somebody could do right now that is in a really dark place. Right, so you know every once in a while we fall into this dark place that nothing works and then people's around us seem to be very cold or indifferent or sometimes mean. It's because our world or in a world is made of anger, resentment and frustration and that will be protected out. So when you are having a hard time or just struggling, you have to breathe in deep and then relax and you can have a different life. But in order to do that you have to take a look at your life in a totally different way. The reason why you have financial issues for example is that you're making too little and spending too much and you're in the wrong place. But if you just find your own reserved seat which means that if you find a good environment to lift you up, you will do well. You happen to be in a bad place at the bad timing. So you have to find who you are and what you're good at and if you do more of what you're good at, you get promoted, you get paid well and you get moved to a place where people respect you, love you and appreciate you. So you have to find the right place for you. It takes time, sometimes it takes a few years but it's okay because life is a fun trip or process to find your best place, find your best partner, find your best friends and you can surround them with the people that you care about. So it doesn't really matter where you're stopped. Entrance is not the most important place. Exit is very important. Where you end up is more important because it doesn't really matter if you're just a junior high school dropout or Harvard graduate school graduate because what you end up doing it means a lot more so for example you can give instead of what you have done or you're having done. I love that. That's very important. That's so, so important and you speak actually about you go a step further in terms of what we believe is true and and how we look at the world when you go back to childhood and you speak about money trauma because you speak about the perception of money and how basically it's scarred us and like the money wounds that we have as a child. So we have these money wounds as a child and I would love for you to explain that but then we also have the school we went to, the friends we have, the degree that we did or didn't get. We have all these things that impact how we see the world and so many people have this hard time breaking out of I would say you know after 25 years old our view of the world for most people doesn't change too too much that's what's the sad thing about it. They just all these learned experiences make them see the world a certain way and some people do the work and try and sort of break out of this shell that their parents have molded them into and that you know school high school and university and college have molded them into but a lot of people don't and I think that that's what actually hurts a significant amount of people and it really inhibits their potential but this is besides the point I want to go back to money wounds, money trauma because the rest of what I'm talking about is really just like your experience professionally and academically that impacts how you perceive yourself but what is this money trauma that I've never heard of this before but I'm really excited to understand like what it means for the jobs I take on the the the the risks in terms of investment the things that I spend money on the the companies I want to start so how does this play into it. So I remember whatever I hear word birthday present I remember my seventh year birthday you know I think I was thinking I'm already an adult so I wanted to have a mountain bike you know it's a very expensive you know very stylish one and I thought it's cool you know I'm grown up enough and my parents said that's too expensive and I was so hurt you know I I'm not worth it you know that he then meant that you're too early for that and they're they're they're right because I cut my forehead here and here because of the bike accident afterwards after my parents parents sometimes know best but I know but at the time I feel like I'm on worthy of this expensive gift you know I'm a cheap boy is what I what I what I thought and then I was denied a few times later on when I was 14 15 there was this homestay program to LA Los Angeles or a mayor born in in Australia I wanted to learn English but by then my father was a heavy alcoholic so I talked to my mother and she said okay when you when your father is a good mood is in the good mood talk about your homestay uh and I sighed because in my home that means never in home my mother my father is never in the good mood so that means I forget it right so I just had to brochure ready when I find my father is even in a little bit better mood and when he's in good mood I was going to and then pitch my homestay program for him but he never happened because if I did my father get gets angry at me or my mom and he could get obviously right so I still remember on the day that the airplane goes somewhere my friends are going to either LA or Australia and I was like oh my god you know I'm I never felt jealousy for uh for anything like I was so jealousy I was I was going to die I was going to burn in my jealousy and by the way last year uh after 40 years I landed in the soil of Australia and I almost cried because my dreams of 40 years you know of course I could go but I my trauma like oh whenever I heard Australia you know my heart ached so um every one of us had some kind of funny trauma sometime big like your parents are divorced because of money and you're heavily scolded or I know a person who was kidnapped for money you know so a lot of money related trauma happened in our childhood and unless we feel the side effect after effect of that is when we want to buy something this uh uh deep voice saying you're too cheap you know this is too expensive for you when you want to start your own business no no you can't make it because you you didn't you didn't deserve uh ballet lesson or soccer lesson or nice summer camp why such a failure can't study business as a succeed so subconsciously all these traumas just taught you and limit you and I've struggled with that because later on I wanted to study English and do something internationally but it took me almost um 40 years since I started thinking about that so uh unless you heal your money money trauma or money scars you know we limit we tend to limit those self in a small box you have tips on where people can even begin to start healing because that's some deep rooted stuff that's going back a very very long ways right right so you don't need to meet uh see uh see your your therapist and it's it's very simple if you're willing to do it you know it you may in your imagination go back to your living room like 30 years ago 40 years ago and just look at your parents in your own eyes adult eyes and then your parents are maybe younger than you are now you know during their 20s or early 30s right so um you can see your parents kind of like puzzled uh we don't have the money you know so to send uh send the kid a child to express if summer school or ballet lessons or uh you know Disneyland or whatever and then uh you can see they're they're as they're so confused and they feel so shameful so instead of just confronting their shame and uh anxiety around money they turn it on to their kids and they made their little one a bad guy so like you're too expensive you know what do you think we we are made up you know we're in a matter uh money you know stuff like that or even even in a very upsetting tone so you can see uh 70 year old a 10 year old boy or girl girl saw her because of the comment that your young parent made so you can say you can go to close to your um your boy or girl and say it's okay okay you know right it's not your fault it's just your parents didn't have money so um so that's why they cannot afford it but if they have if they have the money they'll of course they'll be happy to give it to you so it's not your fault and they just hug your uh you know a child uh your self many years ago and then be with the boy be with a girl and then just give a blessing to the young parent because they they didn't know much about money they were as confused you know they're young they maybe came a little smarter but they didn't know much so uh do you want to blame them you know for it for being ignorant and if you have compassion and love for them you can send love to your parents as well so by looking at your young parents as innocent uh ignorant people and you accept them as who they are and if you can forgive them just give them your blessing and by doing that you realize okay nothing wrong with me that I can start my own business I can just invest in new things I can get married in or nothing stops me uh at least at least money doesn't stop me thanks for tuning in if you found this valuable don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode and if you want to dive deeper into this conversation check out the links in the description to watch the full episode see you in the next one