Lessons - Owning Your Present Truth

Welcome to Lessons episodes of Success Story, part of the HubSpot podcast network. These lessons episodes will be shorter conversations with past guests, valued members of the success story community, and myself. They'll be focused on teaching you actionable, insightful takeaways that you can use to upskill your personal and professional life. Imagine this. You're right about everything right now. Your beliefs in this moment, they are all true. This is such a powerful concept. I'm going to teach you why neuroscience shows us that what our brain believes is real, will make real, and there's a lot of science behind this and why it's so important to stay with me. We're going to learn to forget about external approval. We're going to learn why conviction is so important, why you have to trust your inner voice. We're going to pull in some stoicism so that you understand how to focus on your own energy versus the energy of outside forces. We're going to focus on how to grow as an individual, why it basically requires being certain that everything you do, how to stay curious, but stay grounded in the right now. Also, we're going to talk about neuroplasticity, how it allows to consciously reshape your neural patterns over time so that what you actually believe becomes your reality. It's basically all the self-help stuff, but actually turned into science, and I think this is very important because there's a lot of value in believing in yourself and believing in what you can do, but I find that the self-help gurus get it wrong. They don't tell you why having this kind of mindset can actually change your life in a very scientific way. A lot of self-help I find comes across as arrogant or delusional or out of touch, but I'm going to break down some science as to why mindset and believing in yourself and believing that what you believe is true and what you're trying to accomplish is true is actually very important to your success because your beliefs, your visions, your passions, these are all true for you in this very moment. Let me explain and I'll explain why it's also so important because all of these things, the beliefs, the visions, the passions, they can evolve over time as you learn and as you grow, but right now what you believe, what your vision is, what your passion is, these are your reality and when they become your reality, when you truly believe they are true, you start to ask yourself, what if you embrace this idea fully? What if you leaned in and acted with the confidence and conviction to do the thing that you're trying to do without external validation or approval? This is the power of knowing that what you believe is actually true in your mind right now. All the learnings, all the teachings, all of your experiences to date have cemented what you are trying to accomplish as your reality and it's a mindset that really frees you from doubt and from fear. If I think right now I am creating incredible content and I am one of the best YouTubers, broadcasters, content creators, I will start to act like it, I will lean into the content and create things that I feel are of that caliber and I won't worry about external validation or opinion. I start to trust my own internal compass and then that's what guides me and I want to show you how this plays out in some very successful individuals that really internalize this mindset of knowing that what they believe is true. Let's look at Jeff Bezos. He's a great example. Jeff Bezos, he founded Amazon in 1994. He always maintained this mindset. He had so much conviction in his vision. The quote Jeff, it's not an experiment if you know it's going to work. He said that. He had the ultimate conviction in his current belief system. He didn't know for sure that Amazon would become a trillion dollar giant but he believed in the idea that of the thing that he was building at the moment. It was his present truth and then we know the end of that story. We know at least where the end is as of today, but Amazon wasn't built overnight. It was built over many years with small experiment, consistent learning, alignment with his north star, attachment from specific day-to-day outcomes, but a heavy, heavy focus on long-term milestones and goals and he faced so many challenges, so many doubts, but he followed his beliefs and his instincts because he believed them to be true. Let's be honest, if he didn't have conviction in what he was building, he never would have taken the steps that he did. Imagine Jeff on day one, if he didn't have conviction in the things that he was doing every single day, there is no way he could ever have built something that large from nothing. Unless he had the ultimate belief in conviction in everything he ever believed in the current moment and he maintained that mindset repeatedly for the entire course of building that company. If you have disbelief in your convictions, if you have disbelief in your present reality, you're scared shitless, you don't make decisions, you freeze, which is a perfectly normal response when you actually don't believe that your reality is where you should be. A lot of game-changing companies and founders adopt this mindset. They let their convictions create reality. The lesson is that confidence is not a prediction of future success, it's trust in your current journey wherever it goes and many of you are listening to this saying, okay, great. But what if my beliefs are actually incorrect? What if I follow the wrong advice or direction? What if I'm not a great podcaster? What if I'm not a great YouTuber? Well, this is what separates an open mindset from a closed mindset. Let's use another example. The Wright brothers, they had a fierce faith in flight when the world doubted them. Their confidence propelled humanity into the air. In a different historical period, they would have been ignored as these mad dreamers instead of being praised as visionary. But in that situation, in their current reality, their dream was valid in their minds and they went through with it and they changed the world. Because our reality is molded by our perspective. So we have to be proud of our current beliefs, but at the same time, adopt a curious and adaptable mindset. Because your current truth, as important as it is for you to hold your convictions, is just your location today, a point in time. It shifts as life moves around you. So now that you've sort of understood the framework and a lesson that I'm trying to teach over today, there are four supporting ideas that I'm going to speak about that are going to back up this concept that I personally incorporate into my life that I think are very important for this mindset shift into our belief in our own reality. The first one is called the locus of control. So let me explain it like this. It's a mindset shift. Imagine you have two choices. You can either believe that your life is controlled by external factors, such as luck or fate or other people. Or you can believe that your life is controlled by internal factors, such as your skills, actions or decisions. Which one would you choose? Well, the answer seems obvious, but it's not. Many people have an external locus of control. They think that their outcomes are mostly determined by forces outside their control. They feel powerless. They feel helpless. They blame others for circumstances or for their failures. They wait for things to happen to them. And if you have that, obviously you can see how it's very hard to believe that your reality is true if you think that your reality is based on all these random external factors that happen to you. However, there is another way. You can have an internal locus of control. You can think that your outcomes are largely influenced by your own efforts and your own choices and you feel confident and capable. And you take responsibility for your results. You make things happen for yourself. This is not just a matter of preference. It's a matter of science. And this is how most high performing individuals think with an internal locus of control. Studies show that people with an internal locus of control are more successful, healthier and happier than people with the external locus of control. They also have higher self-esteem, self-efficacy and optimism. Why? Because they own their present truth. They believe that they are the individual being and their own actions, their own thoughts, their own beliefs, define their reality. See, they don't give up on their dreams or their goals. Because in their mind, it's all up to them to accomplish them. So something isn't working. They can fix it. They don't make excuses or complain because what's there to make an excuse about? It's just you that has to do the thing to get to where you want to be. So they take action. They make changes. They learn from their feedback. They make mistakes, but they learn from them. And they seek these opportunities and challenges. And ultimately, they create their own love. Because they realize that they are right about everything for themselves in this moment. And honestly, this is the most powerful mindset shift. The best part about the locus of control is that it's not fixed. It can be changed with experience and education. So you can develop a more internal locus of control by recognizing your own agency and influence over your life, taking responsibility for your actions and choices, setting realistic and attainable goals, seeking feedback, learning from mistakes, celebrating achievements, embracing uncertainty, developing a growth mindset, all the things you hear again and again and again and again. By doing these things, you shift your mindset from external to internal locus of control. You can realize that your perspective and your beliefs shape your reality rather than external factors and then you empower yourself, own your present truth. This is the locus of control mindset shift. This is one of the first things that is very important to understand that you have control over your own reality. Second thing I want you to learn about is the science of shaping your neural self. This idea revolves around the concept of neuroplasticity. So when we embrace our reality as truth, we start to form neural pathways in our brain. So there's a psychologist, Rick Hansen. He explains this way. Who you are today was built slowly over time from past experiences. But the magic is you can reshape those neural patterns through incredibly focused effort. From the time we're born until the day we die, our brains are continually forming new connections in neural pathways. This is the remarkable capacity that our brain has for change. It's called neuroplasticity. And what does this have to do with owning our present truth? Well, everything because our self concepts, our beliefs, our identity, are basically ingrained neural patterns that are built up over a lifetime. They shape how you perceive reality. As Dr. Hansen puts it, the self is a transient construct of the brain. Who you are today was built slowly over time from past experiences. But here's the incredible part. Because of neuroplasticity, you can consciously shape and evolve the neural patterns and form your sense, identity, and truth. Studies show activities like meditation and cognitive behavioral therapy literally change brainwiring over time related to your identity. So if certain beliefs limit you, you still have some hope because your truth actually is not fixed, it's flexible and can be molded. Your strengthening neural networks that serve your highest truth and highest self every time you do something. A lot of people don't strengthen the right neural networks and actually form these really bad self images. But you can do it because the brain believes what you teach it. So you have to help it understand your ever expanding potential and your reality and what you can achieve. The third concept that you have to understand is the idea of inter-temporal choice theory. Let me explain. Imagine you have a choice. Option A, you get $100 today. Option B, you get $120 in a month. This is also similar to the marshmallow test if anybody knows what that is. What would you choose? And I'll do, by the way, another video on the marshmallow test later on. Most of us would prefer the immediate $100 even though it's less money. We have a natural bias for the present over the future. Actually, I caved. So the marshmallow test is very similar to this what they did is they put kids in a room. They were offered marshmallows immediately, a small amount, or more marshmallows at a later date. And they were basically testing whether or not the children could display delayed gratification for more marshmallows that were going to come in an hour, two hours, tomorrow, whatever. But most of the children chose the smaller amount of marshmallows up front, meaning that humans intuitively are not great at delayed gratification. I think we know this. We're all about like, how do we get things instantly? Look at our economy and our software has developed Uber, Netflix, all on demand right now, right? But this behavior is basically explained by inter-temporal choice theory. And it's a concept from behavioral economics. So studies show the humans tend to value rewards that are available now, more than rewards that are delayed. So what we do as humans is called future discounting. We reduce the value of a reward as the time to receive it increases. See, our minds favor what is real and present over what is possible in future. For instance, in a Stanford experiment, there was some participants that were given the option of $20 now or $21 in a week. Most people picked the $20 now. The extra $1 in the future was not worth it. How does this relate to embracing our present truth? Well, the simple answer is that we are wired to focus on and optimize the present. Our minds stick to what is happening now. This means that the easiest way to live is to be fully present. Because when we pay attention to the moment without judgment, confidence emerges naturally. Imagine, I'll give you one more example. When I go on stage once in a while, the more time I have to prep, go on stage, the more nervous I am. But if I don't think and go on stage and focus on the moment, there are no nerves, significantly less. But we really don't need to chase confidence in some uncertain future. That's what really bogs us down. We can relax in this truth. We experience in the present without devaluing it. There's so many lessons in history that enforce this. There's Buddhist wisdom that says, do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moments. We've known this for thousands of years. We have to believe in our abilities and our vision today. Don't future discount your present truth. Don't worry about what's going to happen tomorrow, the day after. The fourth lesson you have to learn is how stoic philosophy and focusing on the controllable plays into all of this. So we're going to, for this exercise, we're going to apply a stoic mindset to the power of being right in the now. Stoicism is a school of philosophy that comes from ancient Greece and Rome. And the stoics believe that the practice of virtue is enough to achieve eudaimonia. Basically, a well-lived, nourishing life. This is what eudaimonia is. The stoics taught that we should differentiate between what we can and what we cannot control. Epidocus, who was an ancient Greek stoic, said, it's not what happens to you, but how you react to it, that matters. See, we cannot control external events, but we can control our judgment and our attitudes. See, this shapes our experience. Modern psychology backs us up. Studies show that our belief in controlling a situation reduces anxiety and dysfunction. How does this apply to this present truth? Well, external validation is not in our control, but owning our beliefs, talents, and effort is. Another stoic quote, Marcus Aurelius, confidence comes not from always being right, but from not fearing to be wrong. So we can't control being right, but we can control fully embracing our current today perspective. Put your focus on today in the present. Define your worth by your values and conscience. Not external. You can't control the winds. All you can do is adjust the sales. You are the sales, and this will let you navigate with the conviction that you need to get through every single day. Stoicism provides tons of empowering tools to separate the external from internal control, and this really allows you to fully own your present truth. This is basically the stoic mindset shift. So we spoke about a couple different mindset shifts that you have to take on, but ultimately, it all comes down to owning your present truth, because we really started this video with a radical idea. You are right about everything. Not in like a cockier, a delusional way, but in a simple and profound way, because your beliefs, your passions, your talents are your truth today. They might change tomorrow as you learn and grow, but right now, they are your reality. When you embrace this idea fully, confidence flows. You can rewire your brain. Conviction comes from trusting your inner voice, not seeking all this external approval. Your present truth is this rocket fuel when you own it, and continue to own it, because your beliefs are true today, but not for eternity, and that's the beauty of it. You can update your truth as life teaches you lessons. So you stay curious going forward, but you're grounded in the now. And I really hope that you see the confidence lives in the now in owning your ever-changing truth with courage. The future always happens as it should. You can't control the future, no matter how hard we try, but for today, believe in your direction, no matter how many twists and turns it takes, because if you trust in your truth today, if you trust in yourself today, if you believe that there are no mistakes in life, just new learnings, the rest follows.