Lessons - How to Build Marriage and Money Together | Elena Cardone - Cardone Mortgage Co-Founder

In this lessons episode, explore how high performance and strong partnerships drive lasting, personal, and professional success. Discover strategies to build trust and clarity in relationships, understand how women can overcome imposter syndrome and access key resources and uncover ways to leverage personal power to grow influence, elevate families, and scale impact. You know, one thing that I've actually always thought is you and Grant are probably the best example I can think of of high performing individuals that make a relationship in a family unit really work well. And there's of course tons of tons of people to do this, but I also see the flip side a lot of people that are high performing individuals and have been divorced and cheating and stress and broken homes. What do you think the difference is it's that allocating the resources to what you're good at building an empire together? Is that what made you work out this why so many people don't work out because I was going to ask I was going to ask a question you saw the question I was going to ask before it was you know, do you think it's easier to build a business with or without a partner and some people will say without because they don't have to be accountable to somebody they don't have to worry about anyone but themselves, but I don't agree with that. Why did it work so well for you? Because we really figured out our roles in the relationship we had the purpose big enough. We also we we keep it really clean with each other not that we haven't not been perfect over a 19 year marriage and 20 years together, but we have the courage to talk about every single little transgression that we have ever done against each other and we we work through it and you know sometimes you're angry at first, but then you figure out okay well where can I take responsibility for what led you to do that or what problem were you trying to solve? And and then it makes us more fortified and more trusting of each other and and and and a lot of couples do little things to each other you know like date like they throw the penny yeah the penny but over time like the pennies you you've been hit by a million pennies something's gonna break or get hurt in your body right so people do a lot of long-term little things of oh I'm gonna stay out or I'm gonna flirt or I'm gonna do this oh it doesn't matter so and so does it it's oh have fun you know oh I'm gonna drink I'm gonna flirt oh I get my will but then you go home and then not sitting with you and then you don't want him to know about it or hurt and know about it because you're like oh I can't so then it creates more distance because now you're hiding different things from each other do you know what I'm saying you become individuated and isolated and the more bad things that you do to a person the more you withdraw from them but here's the worst part the more in order to justify that you've been doing the bad things to that person now you're gonna pull in different critical aspects of that person to justify why you did the bad thing to them so now I go out I flirted you know I had too much to drink I'm with my girls I'm like oh yeah you know I'm about to turn 50 or 40 or whatever the number he still thinks I'm hot woo and I'm you know and but that's not cool like I wouldn't want to grant doing that behind my back but let's say I do that right and now I'm like oh I had too much to drink I feel bad about that because I woke up late I didn't I was I had a headache I was bitchy to my daughter you know if there's a whole compounding little effect of these little tiny things that's just life or whatever but now I've done that like let's say to my daughter to my husband you know my own self integrity let's say I already had a commitment I don't drink and then I did so now I'm like affecting myself I'm affecting my husband I'm affecting my daughter from that one little thing that it is and now I'm keeping it a secret from everyone now what do I have to do in order to justify that I did this horrible thing to all these people involved now I have to go back and say well you know what he doesn't pay me attention he's a jackass he tells he's always trying to tell me what to do he didn't compliment me he walked ahead of me on date night you know instead of walking with me all the other guys walk with their partners but not grand not grand he's like you know oh he's misogynistic like well he asked me to make him something to eat like I'm like what am I like a my time's not valuable you understand so I have to start in all these negative things about these people to justify that and the thing that's made us successful is from time to time we just lay it all out on the line for each other in a in a space where we can work through it and then there's nothing there like there is nothing that you can find on me that grant does not already know so I get to walk in the light I'm not worried I'm not afraid I have no reason to separate from him I have no reason to individuate from him because I'm clean I love that I want to talk about I want to talk about the concept of having it all who's that message for and what does that message mean that message means it's a mindset it's like lack of scarcity you can have it all you we I don't think we were conditioned I don't think we were conditioned to think that I think we were conditioned to say wins enough enough and you know you're greedy if you want it all and you know what's wrong with you et cetera et cetera et cetera at least that's that's I can only speak about myself that's how I feel I was raised you know like you're here and they're there and that life is there and you you know because you're here you can't have that those are for those people and that's not well I think you can have it all the women you work with though the women you work with do you feel like that imposter syndrome like plagues them more than men imposter syndrome like like like when you work with like all the women in the 10x ladies do you feel that getting them started getting them feeling they can build something maybe because they haven't really that's not something they've ever been exposed to is that's something that you know the content of having it all it helps them understand what they're able to do yeah I really do and and you know yeah the imposter syndrome that's a that's a whole another topic but oh yeah yeah fair you know and and there's also you can have it all but what are you willing to give up in order to get where you want to go yeah do you know what I'm saying because yeah you might want to have it all but if you don't already have it all what what do you what do you or if I want to go sit in the chair across the room I literally have to give up something I have to give up the comfort of this chair and actually do an action which is walking over and sitting in a new seat so a lot of people want it all think they're entitled to it all think they can't have it all but the reality is is you can have it all what are you willing to give up toxic people a comfortable chair like you know are you willing to give up your mentality that you can't work with your partner like there was a lot of things I had to get rid of in order to have it all but you can have it I think what I was what I was alluding to is is and this is not across the board this is a huge generalization but but stay with me on this one um of course there's incredible women female entrepreneurs but for example if you're a woman you want to have a family and you want to raise a successful family maybe you have stuck in your head that that's going to be hard to do while you build a business or maybe you have it stuck in your head that's going to be hard to do while you rise through the ranks in the company and that's really what I was alluding to like you can have you you're you're literally doing it and that's to think the message is very important too for women that haven't taken that jump or that leap and I'm assuming that's part of what you're teaching over and in your actual in your content in the in the conference you're having as well million percent sometimes the thought of oh if I have kids or get married it's going to be a setback but actually if you get with the right partner uh and they're pushing you toward a heightened level of success you can reach it faster and yeah it's not going to be easy you know probably for anyone doing anything because we live on planet earth so the woman that thinks oh I can't do that and have kids you just have to let go of the idea that anything's really going to be easy or doesn't have to be figured out like it has to be figured out nothing's going to be easy which side of that do you want to be on easy with a family that actually you know inspires you and motivates you and expands who you are and who you had to become in order to get there or not yeah yeah I love that um so let's let's talk about what you're doing with with 10x ladies and the reason I want to go into this in a in a bigger ways because you're so focused on it now and I I believe there's not a lot of resources that are marketed towards teaching women about finance about entrepreneurship um I mean there we can talk about everything with glass ceiling gender pay gaps all this different thing I mean I know my backgrounds and startups women are massively underfunded compared to men there's a whole bunch of issues but what are you specifically teaching over to women how are you helping them what are the problems that you're seeing they have when they're starting a business trying to take it to the next level it's sort of you know without without being without being silly like 10xing themselves right right um the problems that they're having are probably a little bit what you're talking about the kind of the the the lack of know-how or confidence or um feeling that they have to be something already in order to be able to do something uh for the you know the confidence or the know-how or the resources but over at 10x ladies um what I'm trying to do is provide a platform in a community where like-minded women can get together and support each other and really hold them accountable and be the woman behind the group behind the vases women supporting showing active interests in the success of them now if you want to be a woman in business you are going to have to take certain steps you're going to have to understand with the target is what do I have to learn what do I have to learn about this in my business or money or finances or how do how do how do you make sales you know if you make sales in your entrepreneurial business and you can show this is what we've done and you go to an investor and they're they don't care whether you're a a male or a female you you've got to produce the stats you've got to show the return of investment and then they want to do business with you so at 10x ladies we we really curate that community and then start with providing the right information so that people can function there's there's the concept of being the four pillars of being a 10x woman there's the being 10x in mindset 10x in money your relationships and your health and wellness like how to design your life so and the concept is you can't be 10x in health and have your money failing and you can't be 10x in money and your relationships are failing and I know and look beyond just the relationship with your partner I mean relationships if you want to build an empire no empire has been built alone whether you're in bed with someone or not you need relationships to expand to grow to to delegate out you forced to grow an empire doesn't happen with one person never has in the history of the world so far so it's how to educate and power women on these areas so that they can actually own their power and the power means the capacity or the ability to influence the behavior of others it doesn't say you have to be a CEO a millionaire billionaire it says you have to have the capacity or the ability to influence the behavior of others so what does that mean how do I become empowered myself how do I live up to my full potential how do I educate myself on my little entrepreneurial business so that then when I go and pitch it to somebody and investor I can have the power to influence your decision to want to invest with me that's power it goes to that big level to something small if I smile to someone on the street and I'm like this and they smile back and I influenced them that's a smile it's about really owning your powers a woman growing it to the point where then you can then bring it home to your families expand out to the families influence the families to reach a heightened level of success then beyond that your communities to your group and how well can your group do around you and then if you want to go even bigger than that and you've grown then you go okay how do I go global how do I go to all of mankind so that's what 10x ladies is is really about empowering women to take responsibility for their role for their power for making a difference for the better for to helping to change the trajectory of this planet to make a difference for the better thanks for tuning in if you found this valuable don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode and if you want to dive deeper into this conversation check out the links in the description to watch the full episode see you in the next one