John Assaraf - Founder & CEO of NeuroGym | Unlock Your Hidden Brain Power

Welcome to success story, the most useful podcast in the world. I'm your host Scott D. Clary the success story Podcast is part of the HubSpot podcast network and the blue wire podcast network the HubSpot podcast network has incredible Podcasts like my first million my first million is hosted by Sam par and Sean Perry. They feature famous guests They discuss how companies made their first million and then some they brainstorm new business ideas based on the hottest trends and opportunities in the marketplace Here are some of the topics you talked about if you like any of these you will love the show three profitable business ideas that you should start in 2022 drunk business ideas that can make you millions asking the founder of Grammarley how he built a 13 billion dollar company or SaaS Companies that anybody can start if these topics are up your alley go check out my first million listen to it wherever you listen to your podcast Today, my guest is John Assaraff. He is a world famous speaker philanthropist and entrepreneur. He has built five different Multimillion dollar companies. He's written two New York Times best-selling books. He's worked on eight different movies including the self-development hit the secret as well as the quest for success He is one of the leading experts in the world on brain and neuro research and Neuro and brain retraining. He's worked with tens of thousands of individuals He's helped them achieve greater success in all areas of life through understanding how they think and how they operate You currently works as a founder and CEO of NeuroGym a company focused on leveraging the most advanced technologies and science-back Brain neuro training methods to help people unleash their full potential and get maximum results So we spoke about his origin story. We spoke about coming from a very tumultuous Very humble upbringing. He was involved in a lot of crimes while he was a child And then how he found a mentor that mentor changed his life. It helped him upgrade his identity and that was sort of the Breaking off point for what he now works on with thousands of clients from Early stage startup founders all the way through to fortune 100 executives We spoke about everything. We spoke about some neuroscience of the evolution of the human brain and how it impacts things like goal setting a goal achievement focusing on progress instead of perfection We spoke about self-awareness self-talk how to navigate the thoughts that we think we spoke about upskilling upgrading identity We spoke about the evolution of the brain I mentioned that but the lizard brain them a million brain and then the most modern brain and how to navigate that in terms of Allowing yourself to operate at your highest level. So a ton of Science and evolution things that was that were brought up to help you better understand how you Operate as an individual and then we went into some practical applications as to how you can train yourself to think different and Operate at the level that you have to operate at if you want to get to where you're gonna go and where you want to go So let's jump right into it. This is John Astraff world famous speaker serial entrepreneur philanthropist author. He's done it all. Let's go I got my yeah, I got my my start in my career and I like to think of it as turning my mess into you know my message and my vocation and From the age of 15 16 17 18. I was getting to a lot of trouble with the law I didn't do well in high school. I failed grade seven English failed grade seven math Left high school grade 11 because I didn't think I was smart enough and I hated school And um because I was getting myself into a lot of trouble with the law my family It was really concerned for my well-being and they thought that I was either gonna end up dead or in the morgue And the reason for that is one of my friends ended up dead one ended up in jail And uh or dead or in jail and um, I got you That all sounds bad that all sounds bad And um and so the my brother who um Had just finished playing the pro tennis circuit in Europe Um had a client in Toronto, Canada that he taught tennis to And he was telling my uh, he was telling this guy's name is Alan Brown about his younger brother Who was getting to a lot of trouble and Alan Brown was a real estate developer and had seven real estate offices about 5 800 agents something like that and Alan had suggested that my brother invite me to come from Montreal where I lived at Toronto where they were That was about 350 mile You know Difference in the cities the location So I took the train and went to meet my brother and this guy Alan Brown for for lunch and at lunch this guy very well-dressed individual Very very calm reassuring kind You could tell that this guy cared And he asked me First he asked me why was I doing the things that I was doing to get in trouble which was uh breaking in entries drugs selling them using them etc and I said well, I you know and just hang out with the group of guys that uh we do that We want to make some money and even though he said you well you should be you know working to make money I said I know but I'm learning a dollar 65 in the shipping department of a electronics company and He said well If there was a way for you to do better Would you want to say well of course I would and so he gave me this document Scott and the He handed me this document. I'll now date myself now because you weren't even born then But it was the 1980 goal setting guide And so he gives me this document. I look at this document and it's like three or three or so pages four pages with questions on the front in the back And he said why don't you spend 15 minutes and fill out this document and I said Sure I open up this document first question At what age do you want to retire And I'm like I'm 19 my father still working as a cab driver my mother still working There's never enough money Uh, there's always a lot of fighting about the lack of money and this guy is asking me on this document at what age do you want to retire And I looked at him. I said what am I supposed to put down here? He says just pick a number So I said okay 45 Second question was uh, how much net worth do you want to have upon retirement? And I'm like this is obviously for adults And so I looked at him and I said what does net worth mean And he explained to me uh, what net worth was and um, and then the third question was what kind of card you want What kind of home do you want? What kind of charitable contributions do you want to make? Who do you want to help? What kind of lifestyle do you want to live and I asked And what am I supposed to write down on these things? He said just come up with something out of your imagination So I wrote down retired age 45 $3 million net worth Italian clothes for bedroom house Mercedes Ben retire my parents travel the world I want. I want. I want. I want. I want. I want And he looked at this document and he said this is a actually a really great lifestyle that you have just laid out and he said to me um, I'm going to ask you a question And the answer to this question will determine whether you achieve every one of these things Or you don't And Scott, I can I could tell you in the back of my mind I was thinking yeah, right one question is good to term whether I have all of this stuff and I live this lifestyle Which was the furthest thing from anything Anybody in my family the new but the only place I knew where that happened was on TV on the TV show called lifestyles of rich and famous And so he leaned in and he said to me are you interested in achieving this lifestyle on having these things or you committed to Achieving it and having it And I was like what like am I interested am I committed and I and I asked him I said mr. Brown What's the difference? And he said if you're interested you'll do what's easy and convenient If you're interested you'll allow your current reality to control Everything that you do going forward if you're interested you'll come up with stories reasons and excuses Why you can't or why you shouldn't He said but if you are committed You will upgrade your identity your mindset your skill set and the behaviors to match this lifestyle And destiny He said you will let go of your stories you will let go of your excuses You'll get let go of all the reasons that seem like they make sense to you right now You let those go and you'll focus all of your energy and attention I'm becoming the type of man capable of achieving these goals and by the way he said Every one of those goals are achievable and they're achievable in way less time So he leans over again. He says so are you interested or are you committed? And so I was young cocky trepidacious So yeah, I don't know. I don't know why I just said well Almost like effort. I'm committed And he reached out his hand and put my hand in his shuck and said in that case I will be your mentor I go oh wow. Thank you mr. Brown What's a mentor I think people are underestimating How and backfully a conversation like this can be when you're so young right like this is you're like listening drinking from the fire hose one man one lunch one question One decision my life changed that day So long story short I end up moving from Montreal to Toronto I end up going back to school to get my real estate license I end up going to work for him you know on commission only zero I was making a dollar 65 before I went to zero Right and he taught me How to sell he taught me how to market he taught me how to change myself image he taught me how to develop beliefs He taught me how to upgrade my skills. He taught me how to develop habits and over the next 18 months From 19 to 20 years young. I made a hundred and eighty thousand dollars Through his coaching and he made a hundred and eighty thousand dollars because I was on a 50 50 split And he gave me a blueprint of You know, I became really good on the phones cold calling people I didn't know But he gave me scripts. He gave me the answers to objections He gave me a path to follow that was proven Versus trial and error So one of the things that I learned very very early on is Even if you don't have the mindset even if you don't have the skill set even if you have the past that you may not be happy about If you're committed there is a path to achieving whatever you want And there are people that know exactly how to get there even if you don't Now one thing that I pull out of that was you were so You were so excited to say you were committed But obviously when somebody frames it like that everybody's going to say I'm committed because the alternative is I'm not getting anything So how do you know if you're committed? How did he know that you were committed? What's what's the difference? What is the true difference in terms of your mindset? So I um So I cut the story short so after I said I'm committed He said to me great I need you to move from Montreal to Toronto And what I said well, I don't have a place to live in Toronto Um, I have a job, you know in in much I don't have a car. I don't know anybody here. He says I understand that But when you're committed you figure it out as I know mr. Brown But I don't have any money to move. He says you don't need money to make a decision First you make the decision and then you figure out how and this went back and forth to probably about seven or eight minutes And I was giving stories reasons and excuses and facts Here's the thing. I was giving him true Facts of why I couldn't and he kept saying Changed the fact So I said fine. I'll move to Toronto He says great The next thing I need you to do is enroll in real estate school. I said real estate school I failed English. I failed math. I'm not going back to school. I don't do well on tests I I'm not that smart to do that kind of stuff the legal stuff and finance stuff in real estate. He said stop There you go again reinforcing your negative mindset your negative patterns as mr. Brown But it's the truth. I have enough evidence He goes well the past doesn't equal the future So you make a decision to move here and you make a decision you're going back to school And you're going to pass this test so that you can get your real estate license because that's the process By which I can actually help you and this went back and forth like I've got 60 dollars in my account It was greatly only need another $440 because the course is 500 bucks. I'm like 500 bucks Where am I going to get that? He says well until you make a decision you don't need to answer that question So this went back and forth and I finally like threw up my hands. It's that fine I'll figure it out. It says good My brother said well bro, I can lend you a hundred bucks Maybe mom could lend you some money dad and your sister so I gathered up the money from my immediate family two weeks later I moved from Montreal to Toronto. I borrowed the money. I had like 60 dollars I borrowed the rest of the money from my sister my mother and father my brother I moved in with my brother who lived in Toronto. I went to real estate class for five weeks And it was the hardest flipping thing I had done and on June the 20th I actually graduated from real estate school in 1980 now. Why do I know that date so well Because for five weeks I'd racked my brain trying to study trying to learn trying to Figure out how I'm going to pass this test because for most of my time in high school I cheated on every test to get out of high school And this one I studied I put in the work and I passed the test on my own so Every single time I came up with a story a reason excuse of why I couldn't or why I wasn't possible He had me recalibrate my focus recalibrate my intentions recalibrate my behaviors Until I proved to myself that oh wow the process is actually reverse of what most people do Most people look at current circumstances and it controls their thinking And mr. Brown who's a mega millionaire said no you first see the outcome You make a commitment to the goals and then you figure out how you're going to do it no matter what you don't allow Your conditions your circumstances your past your beliefs or present To control your thinking you elevate above what seems to be factual And you start to create new facts that start to upgrade your identity and your beliefs about what is possible And I think this is an interesting point because You've gone into you've built Five businesses and I'm sure that you know, that's not that's not counting the fact that if you make or you write a best-selling book I consider that a business in it of itself like and if you do all the other things you've done in your career You've done a lot of things successfully in a very diverse and very diversified industries and categories Now when I'm sure you now apply that mindset to quite literally everything you do in your life because you recognize it It works But I want to understand how you can take that mindset In what I guess my opinion would be at the time a very low-risk situation But when you start to apply to more high-risk situations, I feel like a little bit more fear or or practicality or You reasoning or lodging with yourself when you have to make decisions that if I for example Stop this job and start something new. I can't pay rent my kids my family all these different things that are now weighing on you That you didn't have when you're 19 things that people that are listening to this are probably dealing with in their next career move In their starting their own side hustle or their business. You've navigated that I want to understand how to do that at scale or when there's more risk involved Yeah, and listen I've I've coached you know over 10,000 business owners everything from startup to a billion dollars from startup So I'm familiar with all of the phases, you know, I've also grown my own companies To the point where my remax region had 85 offices and 1200 agents doing four and a half billion a year in sales But we didn't start off with that, you know bamboo. We had we raised $28 million. We went from zero startup six of us To a thousand employees and less than a year raised a bunch of money than took it public on that So I so I know the gamut so think of it maybe a little bit differently If you're inexperienced let's say at diving you don't go to a hundred foot cliff and dive off Because the risk of getting hurt is really really big Right, but if you want to learn how to dive you jump off the side of the pool first Then you get on the small diving board maybe you jump off and you jump off five times ten times 20 times 30 times And you go okay, you know, I know how to do this. I know how to balance I know how to where to put my arms. I know you know to close my feet I know how to do that then I can go higher and higher and higher and higher well What causes fear? You know at one level does not cause fear at the next level and vice versa as you as you go up So we get accustomed to taking fear to taking Calculated risk based on experience So when somebody has a job and they're thinking of leaving their job for example and starting their own business What actually triggers the fear circuit in the brain is a behavioral neuroscience researcher I study the cause of thoughts the cause of emotions the cause of behaviors or the lack of taking action So whenever the fear circuit is activated the question is What is causing it to activate? So if we are looking to do something we've never done before without any training without any Skills in doing that Then our brain is going to activate the fear circuit because there is danger that is possible So what happens is most people don't have a problem That relates to their fear circuit they have a problem because they don't know how to manage the emotion called fear So it drives them or prevents them versus fueling them So the first thing we have to understand is in order to achieve goals We have to have the vision of the goal what the what the outcome that we want is we want to have some goals to get along the way But then we want to ask for a self-requestion is you know What are the strategies that we can implement that pretty much guarantees our success Now in the absence of knowing what the strategies are in the tactics are Then we have fear we have doubt we have uncertainty and we are biologically wired To move away from that not towards it Why well safety and survival of the number one responsibilities of our brain avoidance of pain or discomforts number two Conservation of energies number three and then number four is gaining pleasure So if we don't know how to mitigate how to feel fear doubt uncertainty Anxiety and navigate through that Then we are victims of our emotions So now we're dealing with an ignorance problem not an ability problem Ignorance just means not knowing So when the average person says I want to you know, I want to achieve this. I want to get to that next level of success I always like to use Rubik's cubes as an example. So let me let me bring you something Let's do it. We'll do it All right. Yeah, so so giving an example Let's say If I asked ever have you ever tried to solve the Rubik's cube 95% people say yeah, I've tried to solve it And when I asked how many people have actually solved it like one or two or three percent have actually solved the Rubik's cube Now here's a question for you If you wanted to solve the two by two Rubik's cube Could you hop on to YouTube right now and in less than five minutes solve this A thousand percent. Yeah. Well, what if you said um, I want to solve the three by three Could I go on to YouTube and solve that? I would assume I would say yes to yeah, let's say you have grander bigger goals and you want to solve the four by four Is the how to solve this Based on the algorithms to solve this and this isn't available Yeah, I So I feel like there's going to be one where people don't make videos about it But yeah, I think that most of the time I find solvable okay The monster what's that? Well, this is this is a Rubik's cube But this one is like this will take you 24 hours to do right? So the point I want to make is think about this for just a Let's let's get perspective on success If you want to release 50 pounds of fat and keep it off do we know how to do that in 2022 yes If you want to build a business to a million or five or ten or a hundred million do we know how to do that? Yes You may not but does somebody know how to do it? Yes If you want to improve your relationship Do we know how to do that if you want to have a deeper spiritual connectedness? Do we know how to do that if you want to do anything in health wealth relations career or business all the how-to exists unless you're trying to colonize Mars All of the house how-to exists So the problem isn't that the how-to doesn't exist problem one you don't know how-to problem two you haven't committed to because if you were committed to the vision and the goals you have Then you would find the book the video the course the coach the mentor the team the partnership That is capable of achieving that goal, but it doesn't happen unless you are committed So when people say you know, I want to leave my job and start a business or I want to grow my business from 200 or 500 a million to 10 First question I ask all of my students Is are you interested or you committed because if you're interested go somewhere else if you're committed. I'll show you how And with we when we start off with using our hundred billion dollar bio computer the right Way Every single brain Scott functionally works the same Every brain works the same now There are some people that either through training or through you know, being in the right environment Learned how to use their brain the right way and there's others That are victims of their conditioning their past their way of thinking I think that's the that's the majority right the majority of people go through life Think I was actually watching a podcast with Tony Robbins the other day and he was speaking about every morning You know the thoughts that you think when you wake up you think they're your own, but they're not really your own You have to prime and you have to understand like what is actually a priority for you versus what the world is making you think is your priority Well the world and your conditioning right and then the repetitive like there's a huge difference between thoughts Which we have 6200 of a day on average and thinking The average person if they said what they were thinking they would be speechless Because most people don't think most people have thoughts and they confuse that for thinking So if you ask yourself like what why am I afraid What am I afraid might happen? What's the worst that can happen? How can I mitigate that from happening? Is there somebody is there a process? Is there a system? Is there a coach? Is there consultants? There are friends. Is there somebody that can help me reduce the risk of that happening that I'm afraid of Now of course there is But you don't find the solution when you're focusing on the problem or the fear I love that I want to can you I've heard you speak to this before and I find it fascinating the evolution of the human brain So can you can you just give a you don't have to go like it's a super depth But I think it's important to understand people want to understand why they function the way they function Why they think the way they think towards certain things and that all has to do with the evolution of the human brain The reptilian brain all the way through to the mammalian brain So can you give a description of that and a maybe a summary of that explanation that people understand Yeah, and um I always like to have my friends So so listen if um if you were to her moment for those who are watching if you're to take my heroine my skin away And even my skull away And you were to think about what am I really talking to right you're talking to this You're talking to an organism with three pound, you know, piece of matter that's made up of mostly fat and amino acids and water Um coalesced into you know into this thing called a brain that evolved in in three distinct layers the Instinctual part of the brain made up a probably you know our brain stem that is therefore instinct for survival and safety Then as we evolved as a species starting 200,000 years ago or so We know with having more proteins and more food that we can cook to have more calories the next layer of the brain evolved Called the mammalian brain or the limbic system Which uh allows us to have you know deeper sense of emotions and love and care and sadness And then as our brains evolve we develop the neo cortex the top layer of the brain Which is comprised of you know what I call is the Einstein brain which is over there And the Frankenstein's monster brain which is up there and the Einstein part of our brain is our CEO the executive director The imagination side of our brain that can help us choose what we want and why we want it and and how to develop the strategies and the tactics and the tools and the resources and timelines to do that But there's another part of our brain right the Frankenstein's monster part of our brain that evolved to say you know what if you fail What if you're embarrassed what if you lose money? What if you make a mistake? What if your children suffer your husband suffer your wife suffers What if you suffer? What if you disappoint yourself? What if you're rejected? What if you're not loved? So we have almost this like gas and break part to our brain That for the most part most people don't know how to use and so our brains number one focuses survival and safety first Second is avoidance move away from behaviors and move away from emotions of things that are distasteful things that discuss us Things that might hurt us and whether it's real or imagined our brain doesn't care It's a signal that gets popped up then our brain says listen because of one and two We need to do that okay with the 25% of the calories that we're getting a day from food and we need to make this an energy Conservation system. So we're gonna be a miser based on the past And we're gonna my brain and your brain focuses on predicting the future based on the past And so what happens is if we've had trauma in the past if we've had failures in the past if we've been disappointed or embarrassed or ashamed Well in the past because we try something and we fail Then our brain says move away from that because there's a risk here And you know We've evolved we've evolved to be pessimistic and we've evolved to self sabotage basically yeah That's exactly right and and that is because we have um a new brain in an ancient world And our brain hasn't caught up yet okay to the conservativeism of the brain and so our brain does this in billions of seconds before Okay, we're even aware of most of this happening and certainly before we do things to gain pleasure So it's a protective mechanism for survival of the species. So you can understand that I get that So then the question becomes how do I deliberately and consciously evolve myself? How do I deliberately use some of my higher faculties Of mine instead of just relying on what I hear see smell taste and touch or how I feel So for example in my news book inner size which is up there Um you science unlock your brains hidden power you know I talk about One of our neuromussels right so if you think about your physical body you got your Physical muscles and organs What about your neuromussels how well developed is your neuromussel of awareness Awareness of your thoughts emotions feelings sensations and behaviors Are you randomly just going through life? Were you aware of your negative thoughts Your disempower remote disempowering emotions are you aware of the habits that drive your daily behavior 98% of the time Are you aware that the results that you're achieving are nothing more than because of your habitual thought Emotional and behavioral patterns Most be like not really is it well when would now be a good time to start being more aware Right to be more mindful and then are you aware that you know you have the ability to focus And your brain is going to naturally focus on the negative first because of rule one and two about the brain And you need to learn how to be aware of the negative but then flip the switch over To the solution or the positive Well, most people aren't aware of their neuromussels Are you aware that you weren't born with any beliefs any habits any fears and you develop those Some are constructive some are destructive some empower you some don't some are positive some are negative And you're not your thoughts you're not your emotions You're not your beliefs, but you have all those and those are all a coalesced Pattern in your brain that's been reinforced creating your reality So can you shift your awareness can you shift your reality and get it more in line with what you want in this abundant universe It's already here And the answer is yes, you can And it's a skill Like tennis like checkers like chess like knitting. It's a skill like painting And if you don't want to invest any time In practicing the skill Then you are going to do what? Re-enforced the patterns that are there You're not going to grow in that area. You're not going to get better. You're not going to say the same or to do it Right, and you know Jim Rohn said in life you're either going to pay the price of discipline Are you going to pay the price of regret he says discipline ways ounces regret ways tons I just want to take a second and thank the sponsor of today's episode HubSpot now as a leader you're always on the lookout for more ways to arm yourself with knowledge The books the seminars and most importantly the podcast that help you make the best possible decision for you Your company your customers because when you know more you can apply more and you can grow with hubspot Sierra and platform you can store Track manage and report on all the tasks and activities that make up your relationships with customers With a bird's-eye view over all your customer interactions HubSpot empowers your decision making like never before so you can give your business and your customers all the good You've got learn how to make your business grow better at HubSpot.com So how do you how do you actually practice this? I love it the the inner size the the neuro Jim like that Like if there's a repetition component right there's a reps component in this. So what do you do? So let me give you an example I like to give concrete examples that people can just get Imagine You're sitting in your favorite coffee shop T shopper restaurant somewhere in your town Okay wherever you are and you're just minding your own business having a really nice, you know lunch or dinner with a friend coffee with a friend and you get a little tap on the shoulder and imagine Somebody that you love either His or her music or or they're a Hollywood actor okay on the big screen And imagine you can choose either one a musician or you know or a Hollywood actor Let's say you choose a Hollywood actor and they say to you hey My friend and I Steven Spielberg. We're just sitting at the table over there and we were just reading this new script And there's a part in the script is by the way my exception live loop and there's a part in the script That we think you would be perfect for And you go oh really? What's it about? Well, it's a drama with a little bit of comedy in it and They say to you that hey if you learn this this new script We'll pay you a million bucks and then we'll hire a coach for you And we'll hire the entire team that you need to learn the script and let's say you said oh my god Really and they said yeah and they gave you a contract and you signed it and they actually gave you a $500,000 deposit and You agree that you are gonna learn that script So imagine this you've never seen the script all you know is it's like a drama with some comedy And you've never ever acted before What would you do? To learn the script so that you could In six months or a year be on camera filming that part What would you do Scott? I would I would read it and read it myself How often five five five times an hour as much as I could Five times an hour times ten hours is fifty times a day times how many months Every single month until until shooting if it was a big enough opportunity for me If it was a life-changing opportunity. Yeah, every single day a month it will be shoot So live changing offers so you'd read it would you possibly read it while you filmed yourself? That's my mom by the way. I would I'd record myself. Oh, you'd read the friends. Yeah Oh, so you'd read to friends and family you'd get feedback. What if they criticized you That didn't sound really good. No, no, no, no, that was awful. You asked would you think it for me? I wouldn't take it personally, but I'd listen to it. I wouldn't I would I would listen I wouldn't let it I wouldn't let it you know put me down But if I respect that person I'd be caught and sitting aware of what they're saying and trying to prove So you'd read it you'd practice it you recorded you'd videotape it you'd get critique from people who you cared about You probably would listen to the advice of a coach who can help you right and you would practice Until you created some permanent patterns in your brain And so at first you'd be a clumsy beginner But as you practiced and got better and better and better and better better practice is what makes permanent patterns So what we practice consciously We wire subconsciously over time and it takes between 66 and 365 days to create a new pattern that reinforces itself Let me continue. So in essence What you would practice and maybe even visualize because visualization is a simulation You could see yourself being filmed you could see yourself acting the part you can see people clapping You could see maybe even getting an award and you could do all that in your mind and even practice in real life until You and what you were practicing became one So you would in essence create a new identity with skills that you didn't have today So let me share something with you Mr. Brown when he asked me to fill out those documents many many years ago Every day when I came into the office I had to take what I had written down and I had to read it I had to close my eyes and visualize it and I would run my fingers across left side right side So I would send the signal through the tactile senses to my brain I didn't know it then I certainly know it now That he was helping me create a new neural pattern a new identity new beliefs a reinforced vision with some goals and some timelines backed by the behavior to actually achieve them every single day amazing I became The person capable of achieving the goals by Practicing Becoming the person who can achieve those goals I became the person capable of achieving those goals not just through the successes But through the failures and the feedback loops that every brain requires to make adjustments We all have a need not just to succeed, but it's in the failure that we learn how to adjust It's in the standing and falling that a baby learns how to walk It's in trying to eat getting food and a spoon all over a baby space that the baby learns how to coordinate Okay, their hand into their mouth It's in messing up tying your shoe 500 times until we actually can do it at a subconscious level It's in messing up putting on pants or blouse or a shirt or a belt or a tie that we learn the correct way And then we can add the speed to it once we learn the foundation so The way that our brain works is that we have cells right and the cells that fire together and wire together create a pattern The pattern that's reinforced creates habitual patterns habitual patterns require almost zero effort on our part So Everything that I teach my children my students my $10,000 an hour clients is we are going to focus on positive constructive empowering habits And that's all we focus on initially so that once we develop the habit the habit then develops us I love that and that's that is because when you when you are in those previous habits or the habits that you you're living in today Those set points those are incredibly hard to break that's why you need these feedback loops constantly reinforcing Okay, and they're especially hard to break when you don't know how to break a habit Everybody's using conscious effort to break habits habits are unconscious patterns That would be like me trying to reprogram my computer, okay by tapping on the hardware When when somebody wants to take on something new we so we understand how they're going to get from point A to Z It's not going to be easy. It's going to be habitual. It's going to be feedback loop. It's going to be constant. It's going to be repetitive are there Are there certain things that they should do like I guess it depends on the actual activity or the thing they're trying to learn But at a high level like what should they what should they be aware of like the things that they should it be like writing stuff down should it be practicing the thing daily Is there a minimum amount of their life required to vote to that thing before they can actually succeed at it because If I just read that script one time a day even in six months it may not be enough, but I have to balance everything else going on my life Well, and and the way we balance is is actually by making decisions based on our highest values And the highest need that we have at the time so listen you're never going to solve this Rubens cube ever Unless you know how to solve this one So you first need to ask what what is the foundation that I need to put in place What's the foundation for the thing that I want to achieve listen Think about your a watch with moving pieces inside Think about your car Think about a rocket ship think about a Rubik's cube think about staying in shape Are there not foundational things that need to be put in place before a second layer and third and fourth think about building a house Yeah, of course You don't focus on the story of a house until you have the foundation So let's not worry about the fifth story ask yourself this question this question What are the foundational musts That I need to have What are the foundational musts that I need to have in order to get good at those first you can't run Okay, I'm marathon Okay, unless you train at least you know a 10k or a 5k Like it'll be ludicrous to try and go and win a marathon, right But if you committed to running a marathon a year from now and you ask yourself okay Nor for me to run a marathon a year from now. What do I need to know about running What do I need to know about equipment shoes what I even know about hydration What I need to know about rest what I need to know about about Stretching what do I need to know about food the different types of fuel that my body burns like there's five things that that start with that Don't start running start with that Now that you have a foundation go okay great. What should I do my first week in running and we say I don't know great Go to Google just like I'm a beginner runner. What should a beginner runners Process look like Like you're beginner runner in shape beginner runner out of shape male female weight height Right whether there's certain things that you're gonna need to know And then you say okay from those things like can I do that great do that Don't worry about how you're gonna run a five-minute mile I just want to take a second to think the sponsor of today's episode swag.com now You know if you've ever received a corporate gift or swag in the past How many of those gifts did you actually keep probably not many? Which is probably because the stuff that you got was not so great. I've gotten Like a lot of stuff from great shows and from companies in the past that I've just thrown out the second I get it. 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They're giving everybody who's a success story podcast listener special offer It's 10% off your entire order But only when you go to swag.com slash success and enter promo code success 10 remember for 10% off Go to swag.com slash success and use promo code success 10 One of the things that you mentioned before to thought was interesting um was it fear is a go signal for you What does that mean exactly? so when When you understand that fear is an automatic reaction that is triggered in your subconscious mind And yes, well, what is triggering that circuit like think of fears a light switch on off, okay? So if yes, so what does fear Or why does the fear circuit activate? well It activates because there's something real or imagined From my database of experience Okay, that is causing the fear circuit to activate So most people when the fear circuits activated the release of cortisol epinephrine or norepinephrine or adrenaline is rushing through their body And what they don't realize is it's because of the fight flight or freeze signal That fear is it's part of the sympathetic nervous system being activated So whenever mine is activated, right? I can feel the surge of that energy, right? It's energy in my body a neurochemical release Right, so I can feel that energy and that means Right that a I need to be aware of is the danger real or imagined Understand I get I get that's why and that's what that's what should prompt you to to take action to start to figure out Why you're even feeling that in the first place correct? So am I afraid of taking action because there's real danger There was danger sometime in my past. Okay, or is it my imagining that danger because of something I've read or heard about etc So first it's the awareness piece, right? So whenever I feel fear the first thing I do is what I call inner-sized number one which is take six calm the circuit of fear I want to make decisions out of my Einstein brain not my Frankenstein monster brain Fear is because this part of the brain's been activated. It's called the right prefrontal cortex So it's not that I don't want to listen to the signal. I want to understand what tripped that wire So first thing I do is deactivate listen if I'm like walking on along the street I'm about to you know go off the sidewalk to street. I hear a car coming and I jump off Perfect perfect time for the fear signal to work, right? I'm just going to retreat fast. No worries. That's that's a great reaction But if I want to raise money if I want to hire employees if I want to merge with another company if I want to Release weight even though I've lost the released weight 25 times if I want to go across the room to ask a young lady or a young man You know who they are because I'm attracted them if I feel that surge of fear That's because something in my memory Okay, in my experience Library is activating that there might be something that can cause me to fail to be embarrassed shame ridiculed judge to be disappointed to be rejected So I want to calm that circuit first. I want to thank the signal Calm the circuit and then I want to be aware of like what is causing that So inner-size number one takes six calm the circuit inner-size number two is called AIA AIA Which is standing for I want to be aware of my thoughts emotions feelings sensations and behaviors Now I'm operating from a state of awareness. I want to analyze those and then I want to set my intention. What's my intention? Well my intention is to follow through and do this because I want the reward My intention is to protect myself great. How can I do that? So AIA is awareness Intention than what's one action I could take That moves me towards what I want and not away from it Now who's in control now who's gaining more self-confidence now who's gaining more self-trust now who's gaining more awareness now who is taking inspired action And now who is deliberately and constantly evolving themselves being versus being a victim of past conditioning in many cases my parents So you are you are all when you feel that when you feel that that fear that's like you're like That's like your flag that I need to I need to follow these steps take these actions get the hell out of my comfort zone So fear is indicator for that you're pushing inside your comfort zone Basically and that's it. Yeah And also think about this why do firefighters Get training on going into a burning building or building that's blowing up and how do they Manage the fear death. I mean death is possible real death That's like the highest level of fear navy seals when they discovered That there was an issue many years ago scot when navy seals were We're going through the entire motions of becoming a navy seal many of them failed the last test What was the last test? There was submerged underwater with all of their equipment on and three instructors would go down there with them You know 20 feet below the water that removed their mask remove their Their BC the regulator they shut off their air supply They pulled off their fins they they created chaos and you know what the navy seals that were untrained wanted to do Both right up to because they were afraid they're going to die And when they taught the navy seals to Stay calm so they could respond Versus react out of fear they graduated 50% more navy seals What was the difference the difference was mental awareness emotional control and Practicing the skill of staying calm. They teach it to navy seals They teach it to fireflies they teach it to astronauts when life is on the line Well, those are the Olympic athletes of emotional control Well, that means that we could be better at mental focus and emotional control and what if it's just a function of practicing We can now these reasons I started Well, the reason I started my company my neurogym right and the reason I wrote inner sizes to give people the The understanding that that we have this 100 billion dollar bio compute the most advanced sophisticated Okay, organism as I like to call it in the universe We already own it no mortgage no payment plans But we're maybe not very good operators of it and so part of my You know war cry is to help people understand that you are capable of way more than Then you're you're displaying right? I mean me too. So I just want to constantly never end you know my improvements I love that all right. That's a good spot to do to pause here I want to do a couple rapid fire at the end We went through everything that I want to go into so I'm really happy. Thank you You know before I pivot into to rapid fire questions Sort of a two-part question that closes off The first part being when when you're when you're you know passed and gone and you know 100 years from now What impacts you want to have on the world? What do you want people to say about you and your work? That's that's part one and then part two probably the most important is where do people find you all the socials and websites? So there's so it's really a two-part question because I really don't care what people say about you When I'm gone, amazing Okay, so all the socials websites that we're people yeah I'm on Instagram every day. I'm on my Facebook fan page I've got a YouTube channel We've got john asteraph.com With plenty of free stuff on there. I've got my neurojim.com as well So my company his name is my neurojim.com my personal website is john asteraph.com and then all over social media sharing Lots and lots of stuff every day. Perfect. Okay. Let's do that. Let's do that. Also my books on amazon. I was gonna say it usually are unless there was a weird publishing deal or whatnot But I'll put all that stuff. I'll find it on Amazon. I'll put it in the show notes and all that Thank you All right, biggest challenge you've overcome in your personal or professional life. What was it? Had you overcome it? What you learned from it? Sure, our biggest challenge was not thinking that I was smart enough to To make it in life I was voted most likely to fail in high school my evidence of how badly I did in school caused low self-esteem And as a result of the low self-esteem I built this This harder outside shell and got into a lot of fights got into Martial arts got into breaking and injuries. I did a lot of things to have this This air of being you know strong on the outside and what I did was Everything that I teach around building your self-image self-worth self-esteem Visualization affirmation challenging myself going to seminars reading Probably two three thousand books by now spending a million dollars You know on coaches consultants programs over the last 40 years Um to counter that to to finally get to the point where you know, I don't even think I'm smart anymore I think that all of the stuff that I've done and the successes and failures of maybe just a little bit wise now Only just a little bit wise life's life's life's long you Life's lessons Yeah If you had to choose one person obviously there's been many people but pick one person who's had an incredible impact on you Who is that person and what do they teach you I really have a hard time with one person um Only because I've never I've never just spent learned time learning only with one person So I have different people for different aspects of my life You know, and so early on you know mr. Alan Brown was was one of my you know first mentors Then it was Bob Proctor who just died then it was Walter Schneider and Frank Polzer then it was Len McCurdy Um, but then I've had so many people in the personal development arena that I've I've read and followed So there isn't one person's just like there isn't one food that I love above all You know, um, there's it's fair. That's fair. I think that that's an important That's an important point too that you don't have to have one person for everything either You can find the the person that that's best at personal development Starting a business Relationships fitness and that's really what I've done You know when my first New York Times best selling book is called having it all and that's because from the age of 19 When I first started to set goals my goal was to have it all Health wealth relationships career business finances charity spiritual connectedness being a great husband a great father And I focused my life on on how do I raise my my standards and how do I become the best version of me for me and and it hasn't all been a Rocketship ride through the stratosphere But it's in learning how to Navigate through life's challenges that Becoming you know the person that I've been dreaming of becoming for many years and then it just gets better and better and better Amazing A book or podcasts or audible something you'd recommend people go check out I don't listen to a lot of podcasts I'm on a lot of them, but I don't listen to them What about a book another book that you've liked that you'd recommend Price Pritchett Not a well-known person is an organizational psychologist has a book that you have to order from his website It's called you squared You squared not a lot of people have read it. I've given away a thousand of them They're about eight dollars. They're late. It's 25 pages and I've read that book at least 150 times You squared it's it's he's he just puts words. It's like poetry of just brilliance Amazing good. I've never I've never heard of that book before so I'll get it Yeah, that's awesome. Thank you. That's a good good recommendation if next question if you could tell your 20 year old self one thing What would it be? You Go even bigger Good very good. I agree And then last question what is success mean to you? Success to me is harmony now in a success to me is having the the harmony in my life between um Health and wealth a relationship and career and business and fun and experiences and and being a great husband and a great dad and and a great CEO to to to my team and to contribute Whatever I can to the world um in balance so that you know, I feel fulfilled on an ongoing basis of my life has purpose and meaning and I've been very very blessed that I've I've only done what I've wanted to do for the last 41 years It's not that there hasn't been challenges, but I've never like I've never had a job I've always done what I want to do and so I feel very very blessed and fortunate