Lessons - Why Most Self-Improvement Advice Keeps You Stuck | Michael Sartain - Dating & Success Coach

In this lessons episode, discover why taking bold action beats, playing it's safe online. Learn how having a strong opinion helps you stand out in a crowded market. Learn why seeking attention is not unethical, if you are solving real problems, and learn how inaction is the true enemy of progress, not fear or failure. Yeah, so I actually think you're not giving yourself enough credit. Because what you're talking about is really just creating provocative content. Oh, no, no, no. Despite the point of view, no, no, but I want to tell you, you're out of my idea, and then I know you'll have an answer. But my point is, what the Paul Brothers do, what Grant Cardone does, they're not like evil people. Some people I'm sure think they're not great, but they're not evil people. Being an asshole on social media is very different than being like doing illegal shit and building a business that way. So I think there is still a line between good and evil. There's there's shades of, of course, good. Of course, yes, that's what I know. Of course, what you're saying is correct. I'm not telling you to be evil when I'm telling you is to give yourself permission. That's all I'm saying. It's like so many people don't want to take action on social media because they're afraid to give themselves permission. Yet we just put a man in office who fucked a porn star while his wife was pregnant and we elected him twice, okay? And I'm not criticizing him because I voted for him too. My point is, you're worried about a meme you were going to post or an Instagram account you were going to make or a YouTube video because you cared so much about what the people at work thought about you and your fat aunt that you go see at Thanksgiving every year. By the way, just in case you're wondering, you join my program, this is how you get spoken to every day. Okay, I'm a former US Air Force captain. I worked in counterintelligence for two years and I flew spec ops for five. This is how you will get spoken to. This is how we talk every day. But like you watch this over and over again and I just hear these excuses about, I just care so much about what other people think about you. When I say all this stuff, of course, I don't want you to do any of these things. I don't want you to start a shill coin. I don't want you to sit there and start a, what is the other one that's just complete? Forex, I mean. Forex, yeah, yeah. 100% of retail forex is a scam. There you go. I'll say it. You can come after me. I'd be more than willing to debate you. 100%, not forex. Forex is not a scam because there actually are sovereign for well funds that need to use it. But 100% or four retail forex is a scam. I say this and people get pissed at me, but it's still true. But now I'll tell you something to do is by the, with the amount of money my friends have lost in retail forex, I'm not disagreeing with you. Yeah, I disagreeing with you. But my point is, do you see what I've done? No, like by doing no, I've taken aside and now I've become a little bit scandalous in here. Even though what I'm saying is objectively true, you want to know another place where I get like huge hate and I can get hundreds and hundreds of comments. I've debated flat earthers before. Want something that's objectively true? I studied astronomy and college. I know the earth is round and I can prove it. And I sit there and I have a debate with them and I just completely dunk on these guys for like three hours. And I get all these views and comments and all this kind of stuff. And people are like, I don't know why you do this. And I'm like, well, look at the algorithm. I just got 100,000 views for this video that I just made. But most people don't want to take any chances like that. What my point of everything that I just said about good guy status and bad guy status is are you giving yourself permission? Or are you listening to the same platitudes over and over again? It's like every time you fall down, you got to get back up. Have you ever seen some of the stuff that Gary Vaynerchuk writes? Some of his tweets, like I like Gary Vaynerchuk. I'm sure we all do. He's an inspiration to all of us. But his tweets are very much. If you believe in yourself and you do what you think is right and you stay the course, eventually you'll be successful. And I'm just thinking if I said some shit like that, nobody would listen. And if you said some shit like that, it would get no one would care. No, can you imagine being so famous that all you have to do is like be Alex from Ozzy and just tweet work harder. And then you just get like 5,000 retweets. Can you imagine me? But you know what, we're not. We're not that famous, Scott. We're not. And so for the rest of us, we are going to have to be disruptive. And if we're not disruptive, the world will pass us by and they will forget us. And because of the way the fractal nature, you know, Prado's principle, because of the fractal nature of the way social media works now and the way marketing works, that you start to come to this realization very quickly is that you have to do something to separate yourself very quickly, which goes back to my original point. You have to give yourself permission to try different things. And when you do, then you come to you can start to figure out ways to get a leg up on your competition. But if you don't and it's just like, I'm going to be the ethical salesperson. And I'm just going to say platitudes over and over again and feel good about myself and tell myself that I'm good enough. Yo, here's the thing. Internally, all of you are watching this. You are enough internally. Externally, someone will take your partner and someone will take your girl. Someone will take your money and someone will take your clients if you don't do anything about it. Sorry, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this. If I'm the first entrepreneur to tell you that other people are out to get you, I have, especially if you're successful. If you're not successful, you're just starting up. Forget everything I'm saying. You got a while to go. But for those of you who get like a couple million impressions on social media every week, I've got bad news for you. People are going to come after every single part of your life. They will. They're going, they're going to make reaction videos about you doing normal life stuff. And when they do so, how are you going to deal with it? Are you going to sit there and deny it? Are you going to block them all? Or are you going to take that new found status, that new staff found in for me and transmute that into a way to get more clients? In a way to get more business and a way to improve your business. Because that's what you're going to have to do. And if you just want to ignore it and just say everything that I'm saying is wrong, that's fine. You can keep your head in the sand as long as you want. But there's some of you out there. I'm sure that are watching this right now that deep down, you know that what I'm saying is true. You know that the guys who make the, we have a personal injury attorney here in Vegas and the guy drives around into $4.3 million of Bugatti and puts like hot girls in the passenger seat and he's crushing it. He's crushing. But wait a second, I need a personal injury attorney. I don't need a guy with the Bugatti who has a bunch of hot girls in his car. But why does everyone call him? Because he's famous. And I don't know what he gets attention. That's it. That's that's the main thing. The other part that I'm going to tell you as far as entrepreneurship is concerned is the biggest disease you can catch. We call it procrastination, but it's actually something else. It's inaction. It's not procrastination is giving a word, another word to something else. The disease is inaction. My course is called men of action because I watch too many people take other self-improvement courses and then they would they would cry. Oh my god, the life changing. Thank you so much. The giant within like of whatever. And we take Tony Roberts and it's not Tony Robbins fault because he teaches a really great program. But a lot of people will take his program and feel fucking incredible about themselves and then just go right back to living in their mom's basement being overweight. They won't take any action and not the scary part of my course is I force you to take action. There's a thing in science. We know about in psychology it's called cognitive behavioral therapy. We use CBT or DBT dialectical behavioral therapy for people who have like borderline personality disorder. We see that it's being a very effective treatment. I think for men the most effective treatment is called behavioral activation therapy which is basically when you feel depressed you go to the gym. When you feel depressed you go take an action and that action then creates dopamine release and you start having rewards in your mind. I think the male brain and the female brain are different and so the way that we treat some of these symptoms for depression or sadness or melancholy is different. I think for men the one of the main things you have to do is go and take action rather than read a book do a breathing exercise and look in the mirror and tell yourself that you're enough I think you need to go hit a personal record on the bench press and go talk to a beautiful woman that you would have been afraid to talk to before. I think you do that you're going to feel a level of happiness that you've never recognized before because that's what your ancestors did in order to survive and when you do the same thing you're also going to have that same feeling. So then what is the issue with all of the self-help advice that's out on the internet right now and I know you probably have a thousand issues with most of it but I just want to tie a knot in the status thing because I think that's important so and then we'll talk about sort of self-help we can talk about what men should do and by the way in terms of mental health if I ever get a stressful call a stressful email I do go to the gym and I'll go deadlift I'll go bench I'll go squat I'll go kick my own fucking ass be in there oh god that sounds that sounds like a very traditional masculine answer you're going to get cancelled if you say that too loud you better be careful Scott you're you think this is a thing I mean this is but this has always been how I how I decompress because that gives me the room to think through the problem it removes the emotion out of the situation too your response is just going to be in that positive when you wait a second you removes the emotion you mean you come up with logical answers dispassionately you better be careful saying this stuff on the internet Scott you are going to get cancelled you better be careful saying stuff like this bro you're the American psychological they get a hold of you they're going to get you cancelled buddy watch out I think I think we're in an era of non-cancelation I think I think we've got to buy dude I hope so I hope so I really do man when he said there made those promises about you will no longer have your account taken down for no reason and you're going to get a right to a speedy appeal I was like I voted for the right person as soon as I saw that as soon as I saw that it's like you mean I can tell the truth and I'm not going to get ratioed because of it that's incredible no the whole point I was going to make was like whatever whatever you're building whatever attention you're trying to find you have to have spiky points of view you have to have an opinion on shit and listen you're not going to get cancelled if you're not being a complete fucking asshole like I know you take it to an extreme to a degree where you're saying you can still build an audience that way but where you are right now and where 99% of people are building audiences it's so far even like a small amount of opinion is uncomfortable for most people they take a fucking baby step like put an opinion on anything in your life in your world relevant to what's happening and like just have a fucking opinion because like if not who are you you're vanilla you're not going to attract anybody do you how hard it is to get leverage on youtube right now very to start from scratch like you have to do something with an incredible cover photo and an incredible title to even get any traction whatsoever and you have to post consistently and I just keep reminding people it's like when you use platitudes like trust yourself feel better trust your intuition yo I don't believe like you're ready here you can make a clip out of this 95% of you watching this should stop fucking trusting your intuition it has not led you down the right path if you are a pilot and you've done 2000 landings then you get to trust your intuition look up the definition of what intuition is it has to do with domain expertise and lots of experience if you're a cardiologist and you've cracked open 100 like 500 people's chest and actually looked at the heart and be like oh there's something wrong here you get to trust your intuition if you're a psychologist and you are a psychiatrist and you've dealt with maybe 500 people that have had schizophrenia you get to trust your intuition the rest of us who have no domain expertise are like my intuition tells me that I need to start a restaurant that makes paint tacos that are vegan and like no you're doing that for you that's not your intuition bro that's your ego that's what's going on most of you have no right you have how dare you you do not have the right to trust your intuition because you don't have the domain expertise to do so you do have the right to study you do have the right to become a subject matter expert you do have that right which then will lead you to proper intuition but what happens instead is people who have no clue what they're talking about are just like follow your passion do you think that Wayne Heizingle won't woke up one day when he when he when he had a waste management open your waste management the company and he's like you know what I know he was he's from he's from here he's from Miami yeah do you think that do you think that Wayne Heizingle was like you know what my passion is Scott I just want to tell you portapoddies I've just been wanting to clean shit out of portapoddies my whole life to clean diapers and feces I've been so excited about creating dump trucks do you think that Wayne Heizingle's passion was waste management or do you think he solved someone else's problem and made billions of dollars because of it again I want you to think about the attorney Harvey Spector on the show suits I don't know if you got some of you guys watch the show suits but what made him so great is not that he's a great litigator it's that he makes problems go away if those of you are watching this if all you do is make problems go away for other people and you can't do that with platitudes you can only do that with action if you can just make problems go away from other people give away as much free stuff as you can and ask for 1% of your audience to buy your product you will become outrageously wealthy thanks for tuning in if you found this valuable don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode and if you want to dive deeper into this conversation check out the links in the description to watch the full episode see you in the next one