Lessons - The Power of Self-Integrity and Follow-Through

This video is for all my friends out there that I have a gazillion ideas but no action. This one is especially for you. It was character that got us out of bed, commitment that moved us into action, and discipline that enabled us to follow through. That's a quote from Zig Ziglar. Now, see, we've all been in that spotlight. Our heads are jam packed with all these incredible bits of ideas, plans to become better versions of ourselves, and all sorts of creative ventures. We're so pumped about the future, we can almost feel it in our bones, but when it's time to walk the talk to actually do the things that will bring us closer to that awesome future self, we suddenly hit the brakes. What is our go-to excuse? Usually life just gets in the way, but here's the thing. Life's never been about the day dreams. It's about actually making things happen. That's why most of us have a tough time turning our dreams into reality. We face being uncomfortable, worn out, challenged, and even afraid. We have to do things we might not really want to do, all for the sake of that amazing future we envision. And guess what? It all starts with self-integrity. Keeping our word and taking responsibility for the promises we make, whether they're big or small. Now, let's talk about life according to Kettering. So, you might know about a few smart people that basically championed the Industrial Revolution era, right? Well, let me introduce to you Charles F. Kettering. This guy had 186 patents under his belt and is pretty much the reason A, cars have electric starters and B, we can chill out with their conditioning. But it's not just his inventions that make me a fan of Kettering. He said something very insightful. My interest is in the future because I'm going to spend the rest of my life there. Kettering totally got that our ability to stick to our word to see things through no matter how tough would shape our lives down the road. He realized that when you think about it, the future is already here. We're living it because every single day all those 24 hour chunks of our lives add up to create the big picture of our future. So, why do we neglect it? See, if Kettering's first quote wasn't powerful enough, here's another gem. It is the follow through that makes the difference between ultimate success and failure because it's so easy to stop. It is so easy to stop. I used to spend so much time wondering why I couldn't just get myself to get going. I knew what I wanted. I was aware of my potential and all those talents I hadn't even tapped into yet. I had all these ideas from my businesses I wanted to start and the communities that I wanted to build. So, what was stopping me? Well, like Kettering said, it's just too damn easy. Take a step back and to stop trying. Giving up and settling for just okay is way simpler than pushing yourself towards something amazing. But you know, it's not just black and white. There's more to it than that. See, there's pressure in perfection. You know, there's a huge obstacle between us and our true potential. This is the idea that everything has to be flawless. What if you try to start that business and it doesn't work out? Does that mean all your effort was for nothing? Not even close. The reality is most of the changes you want to make or ideas you want to try out will probably turn out different from what you first imagined. Maybe you started a new work at routine instead of going all out, you discover a love for yoga or you launch that business and it's not quite what you pictured, but you learn so much from the experience that it actually ends up paying off dividends for the next 10 years. I'm really into this quote by Dr. Brunei Brown about perfectionism. See, perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system. It fuels this primary thought that if I look perfect and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of blame, judgment and shame. See, failing is just a part of life. So don't sweat it if your original plan doesn't work out. What matters is that you gave it a shot and you keep trying to make those changes. That's integrity. Sticking with something through thick and thin, no matter how many bumps you hit along the way. Along with the way to perfection, a lot of us, depending on your beliefs, are pretty aware that in the grand scheme of things, what we do here might not really matter. We could leave this world as a genius or as a couch potato and it wouldn't make a difference. We're all headed six feet underground. See, this harsh truth keeps many of us from even trying to make changes. It's like getting a free pass. If living a just okay life is way easier and inferior, why put in the effort? And the answer is quite simple. It's because we can. The beauty of living lies in being both conscious of our smallness and amazed that we're even here experiencing life. It's about cherishing and enjoying every hour of every day. Sure, you'll eventually pass away and none of this might matter, but right now you're alive and you have a chance to create something incredible for yourself and for the world. There's something way more powerful than perfectionism or pessimism that keeps us from taking action and that's actually the incredible wiring of our own brains. This compounds onto the problem. See, I have a big issue with motivation. Believing that motivation alone is enough to change our lives is a bit of a fairy tale. Imagine this. For the last five years, you've come home from a job you can't stand. You sit down on your couch and you're closed, you drift off to reality TV land until the glaring screen wakes you up at 9 p.m. It's almost like a miracle to expect that you'll suddenly wake up one day and turn your life around for good. Not entirely impossible, but let's be real. It's highly highly unlikely. And why is that? But we're creatures of habit. The more our brain travels down the same neural pathways, the stronger and more deeply ingrained those pathways become. That's exactly why we struggle so much to make changes we swear we're going to make even with the best intentions. We fall back into our old patterns and just like that, our ability to follow through vanishes in the thin air. So what's the solution? This is where self integrity comes in. We know integrity is kind of interesting. It's about being whole, having all the pieces in place. We use it to describe something solid and dependable or someone with a strong sense of right and wrong. But self integrity is about constructing and strengthening your own inner foundation. For me, it comes down to centering my identity around one key behavior. Follow through. Following through is just sticking to what you say. When you promise yourself that something's going to change, it takes specific action to make that change happen. So you might be wondering, how does this get around the barriers and the mental blocks? Isn't following through just another unrealistic goal that won't come true? Well, here's what sets it apart. With follow through, you're creating a behavior pattern that shapes your identity. Let me break it down. Every time you consciously decide to make a change, like getting healthier or learning a new language, and then actually following through with it, you're forming a little neural pathway in your brain. Plus, you're giving yourself real evidence that you've got self integrity. But it's a two way street. Every time you talk big and you don't follow through, you're identifying as somebody who's all talking no action. You start to subconsciously see yourself as somebody who can't make changes. And that's a dangerous mindset to fall into. See, one issue we often run into when committing to something new is that we think about the whole process all at once. This is super overwhelming. And this is probably compounded with everything we said before. Why so many people have a hard time taking those micro actions and micro steps and holding themselves accountable to themselves for the long run. So here's a few rules to live by when you're trying to become a person of self integrity. First of all, you're going to break down all the steps from where you are right now to where you want to go. You're not going to say you're going to do something unless you're fully ready to commit to it. Once you decide to make a change, create something new or step out of your comfort zone, you start by making a plan. You pick just one action step. You can realistically take each day to bring you closer to your goal. And if it helps, grab a wall planner or write something down on a docks or a no path, write down exactly what you're going to do. But don't set an end date since that'll add too much pressure. See, self integrity isn't only about falling through on your word, it's also about fully committing to your own vision. When we take control of our lives, our brains form new pathways and habits that set us up for this healthier, happier future.