Lessons - Discovering Your Life’s Purpose | Kute Blackson - CEO of Blackson Group

How do you find clarity on that thing, that one thing that you're meant to do? Because that is, if I even start to think about it, if I even start to say, oh, I don't like my job or, you know, I don't like my relationship, that's fine. I can understand that and I can be realistic with myself about that. And then I think about the massive amount of things that I could do instead of the job or all of that. That's so vast. Yeah, you're talking a bit about the theme around purpose now, you know, in terms of, well, now you have to find your purpose. You can't leave people here. They're going to be stressed out. They're going to be like, don't leave me in the, in the free fall. Okay, so, so I have a perspective around this. So I'm going to start, okay, I'm going to start a bit from the macro and then I'm going to get very, very, very specific for people that will give them actionable things to what, in terms of what to do. So I'm going to start saying, first off, stop seeking your purpose. Stop seeking your purpose. The drive to find your purpose is actually taking you further away from trying to find your purpose. And many times the ego, who we think ourselves to be, our perceived sense of self and condition self that we attach to, the ego, the ego's job is to reinforce its existence. And so one of the ways that ego reinforces its existence is to seek and seek and seek and seek and seek and seek and seek and seek and seek and find my purpose and never find. And so there's a part inside of us that really doesn't want to find our purpose because by not finding my purpose, I don't have to live my purpose and the seeking, the process of seeking continues. And so I say, stop trying to find your purpose. On a spiritual level, number one, recognize that you are a soul. You are a soul that incarnates into the human experience. Your soul has incarnated and you're a soul having a human experience. You may have heard that before. You're a soul having a human experience and then the human experience you incarnate into the human experience in order to learn to grow to evolve. So to me, start seeing life, life itself is a school. Life is an evolutionary school for the growth and evolution of your soul. Life is a school for the evolution of your soul. And as a result, then every situation, every experience, every relationship, everything you go through is part of the curriculum for your soul's evolution so that you can realize more of who you really are and so that you can learn those lessons and grow and come into your most authentic self. And if you start seeing yourself as a soul and understanding that are, if I'm a soul and I'm here to grow, then the real purpose, the real ultimate purpose of life is to learn the lessons, to grow, to evolve and become your authentic self and remember who you truly are beyond your programmed condition self, to remember your essence, to remember your identity, to remember that infinite spark, to remember your true potential and power if that's the purpose of life. Then your purpose isn't what you do, your purpose is the degree to which you are learning and growing, no matter what you're doing. You can be living your ultimate purpose, whether you're a trash collector, a formula on race car driver, a podcaster, a stay at home mom, an author, an engineer, an electrician, working at barista, working in Starbucks, that's what you do, you are not what you do, your purpose on a deep spiritual level is about evolution. In any moment, regardless of what you do, any moment, you can be living your purpose so long as you're growing and evolving and learning and asking yourself, what is my soul seeking to learn it in this experience? What is my soul seeking to understand in this situation? What is my soul attract this situation? What is my soul attract this boss? What is the classroom that I'm in right now in this experience? And I think when we do that, we are growing, when we do that, we are living the true purpose and when we do that, when we learn those lessons, we begin to transcend the experience and we start attracting new experiences to us. So your purpose can be lived every moment that you're growing, learning and evolving. That's the bigger level. Now on a human level, which is connected to your question, but I wanted to set a bigger context to connect it to because I think we live on different levels as souls and human beings. On a human level, stop seeking your purpose instead. So now what the hell do I do? Okay, you can sit there and just try and figure out your purpose from the side lines, but life doesn't work that way. That is another can be another strategy of the ego to avoid. Instead, move in the direction, if you look, I don't know, okay, fair enough, but don't just sit there, move in the direction of what lights you up, move in the direction of what turns you on, move in the direction of what's sets your soul on fire, move in the direction of what brings you joy. Just move in the direction. You don't have to know where it's going to end up. You don't have to know where you're going to get to exactly where you need to be because there's an intelligence inside of your soul that knows it knows. So just go in the direction of like, I feel joy here, I feel the liveliness here. I don't know where this is going to lead me. I don't even know how I'm going to make money, but at least start navigate rather than just sitting and going, I don't know. And then 10 years go by, go in the direction, stop moving in the direction. You start moving in the direction of what makes you most alive, the liveliness is a sign. The liveliness is a navigation, the liveliness is a radar that pulls you. So as you start going in the direction, take a step. You take a step, then what you'll find is life reveals to you another step. You take another step, you lean in, life reveals to you another step. You lean in, life reveals to you another step. And often your purpose gets revealed to you in the process of taking a step and living life itself. What will often happen is 10 years from now, 20 years from now, 5 years from now, 3 years from now, you look around and you're like, holy moly, I'm, I'm living my, I lived into my purpose. I could not have planned this purpose, but I lived into it, but you lived into it because you want on the sideline trying to figure it out because the journey that you go on, you take a step, the journey that you go on in that big step, as you take the step you grow, as you take the step you evolve, as you take the step you expand, as you take the step you're conscious of the shift. And as you learn, grow and evolve, you become more ripened, you become more ready for the next step. Stop trying to figure out your purpose from the sidelines, you take the step. And then I would say question number one, okay, what do I love, what turns me on, what brings me joy, moving that direction. For me as a kid, we lived behind my father's church, we didn't have a lot of money, we lived behind my father's church. My bedroom was so small, you could barely put a one single person bed in it and walk in the room. I had all of these big dreams, so as a kid I would sneak inside my father's church in the middle of the night, 8 p.m., 9 p.m., it's 10 p.m., and every day I often don't talk about this, but every day. Imagine this kid, 11, 12-year-old kid, I would speak, Scott, I would speak to the empty chairs. I would give seminars for two hours a night, an hour a night, I would give seminars to the empty chairs, imagining, right, imagining I was inspiring people from around the world, I was inspiring people in the US for free, you know, for me. That's what lit me up, that's what turned me on, that's what brought me joy. I would do that for free, I'm done it for free, I get paid now. But it didn't matter, so when you find that joy, going that direction, you don't have to know the how, so what turns me on, what sets me on fire, what do I love? Number two, but that's not enough. You have to ask yourself, let's make it more practical, what specific skills do I have? What specific, I love Formula One racing, okay, this is one of them, I love it. But I'm never going to be Lewis Hamilton in this lifetime. I'm not going to, it's not going to happen. The kid is, the dude has been doing that stuff for he's 37 years old since he was like three, okay, and so it takes a level of actual competence and skill to be able to perform. That's a reality. But if we look in our lives, so many people say to me, I don't know what skills I have, just look at your life, look at every shitty job you've been through. Sometimes the jobs that you have, that you need to work in, sometimes the jobs that present themselves to you, they're not your purpose. But sometimes you put that because there's a necessary skill that you're meant to learn in that job, and you're going to need that piece of the puzzle, that skill, to be able to, to be the person who's able to then fully fulfill your purpose. And I, I always tell people when you're working a job, even if you hate to do it with ultimate excellence, when you do that job with excellence, then you're able to extract the skill you become more, but you're able to extract the skill that gives you part of the ingredient to prepare you for your purpose. So look at all of the jobs, all of the situations, all of the experiences, all of the traumas, all of the breakups, all of the failures that you've been through. And look at what specific tangible skills that you learn. Those skills are going to be a part of your purpose and can point you in the direction of perhaps what you're meant to do lies. Number three, what unique gifts do you have that you're able to solve a unique problem? Another way of asking that is, what is the unique problem that you're able to solve for yourself? I always tell people don't, when you think of what to do, don't simply focus on how do I make the most money. You might make money, but often you'll be miserable, and if you're miserable, you'll sabotage it. If you're miserable, it won't sustain. I work with so many people, one-on-one in groups, small groups, large groups, billionaires that have made so much money, but they don't feel any purpose, don't feel any connection, and they end up sabotaging what they've created, or they end up not having the motivation to continue. So I always tell people, don't focus on money. Instead, realize that money is a byproduct of adding value, and when you add value, you add value by solving someone's pain, someone's problem, or someone's challenge. So when you're able to denounce yourself in question number three, what is the pain problem or challenge that I'm uniquely able to solve based on my gifts, based on my skills? Because when you solve someone's pain problem or challenge, your being of true service and money is just a byproduct of being of service. Number four, I would invite people to really think about on a practical level, which group of people do I feel a connection to? Which group of people do I feel an affinity to? Maybe you feel a connection to the teenage pregnant girls, maybe you feel a connection to the physically challenged, maybe you feel a connection to the elderly, maybe you feel a connection to, you know, fill in the whales, maybe who went, maybe you feel a connection to the group of souls, people, but you feel a connection to will often also might, it might point you in the direction of where your service and where your purpose or what you're meant to do and where you're meant to share your gifts, where that lies. You don't have to know where you're going to end up, but that can start giving you a directional navigation in terms of where to go and don't wait. Look at Oprah. There's no way Oprah could have planned her life. Yeah, I'm going to plan at this age, this is going to happen. And by the time I'm 30, 40, 50, 50, 50 years old, 60 years old, I'm going to be the most powerful media mogul woman in the world. You can't plan, billionaires, you can't plan that, but she loved communication. She loved communication. She didn't sit on the sideline until she was a bit in there. She loved communication. So she became a newscaster, as she became a newscaster, she had too much compassion. So she would cry while reading the news. This wasn't a good thing to do. And so they fired her. They gave her a job. I think it was on a talk show in Baltimore, it might not be Baltimore, but I think it was Baltimore on a single station. Now her compassion and her sensitivity was able to be married with her love for communication and the most compassionate she was for people. The most successful I showed the king, boom, syndication, boom, number one show, boom, 25 years later, Oprah. Look at Obama. I mean, how does Obama love him or hate him is irrelevant to me? But look at Obama. How does this guy age 19 go? Yeah, I'm going to be president of the United States, but he started somewhere and that led him. And so I really believe that if you follow your soul, follow the nudging, follow the nudging, it doesn't always have to make sense. If you follow that nudging of your soul, your soul has an intelligence, it will guide you and you will, that's when you will often end up. Say you will often end up when you allow your soul to guide you, will be beyond what your mind can manufacture and create on its own.