Lessons - Accountability, Ownership & Choosing the Right Partners | Ben Nemtin - #1 NYT Bestselling Author

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[SPEAKER_01]: In this lesson's episode, explore how accountability and shared ambition turned bold goals into lasting progress.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Discover why pursuing challenges with the right people increases follow-through, understand how community supports the stains momentum through setbacks and failure, and uncover practical ways to find inspiring peers who raise standards and expand what feels possible.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Actually, you know, it's we didn't even we didn't even need to jump there right away, but I think it was an important lesson the accountability piece and I was actually curious about when you were doing your own bucket list

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[SPEAKER_01]: Um, did you find that you had more success immediately because you were doing it with friends?

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[SPEAKER_01]: And also sort of an add-on to that question, that bucket list, I've listened to some other interviews have been in and some of those items were shared items and some of those items were solo items.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Did you find it was easier to accomplish the shared items versus solo items or was there any differentiation there when you were doing that own bucket list?

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[SPEAKER_02]: So we had individual items and shared items, as you said, but we all did all of them together.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So, and actually the first time I thought about this.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So for instance, ride a bull.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I had no interest in riding a bull.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I had heard any disc from rugby, you know, I wasn't getting on one.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Dave, one of the guys, was very passionate about riding a bull.

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[SPEAKER_02]: He called,

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[SPEAKER_02]: dozens of, you know, outfits and in Idaho and you taught no one would let them on a bowl.

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[SPEAKER_02]: They're like, it's too much liability.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You never like, no, we're not going to let you put that into your documentary.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Finally found someone and he did it and Duncan ended up doing it last minute and Johnny, I did not.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But we all did a lot of these most list items together, even if it was just one person's dream, most of them were collective dreams.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But the

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[SPEAKER_01]: The accountability of having those other guys with me, even you for them when, when, yeah, Exciting of bull.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And even, there's no way I would have done some of the things.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Street could feel and get away.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I have no chance unless I was forced into that position because they were like, we're doing this.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You know, being a crump competition in LA, I can't dance.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Like this is a nightmare for me, you know.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Survive on a dessert island, you know?

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[SPEAKER_02]: And just have to figure out a way to make a bed on the sand and live off coconuts.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Ask out trying to ask out making fox on the transformers premiere red carpet like these things made me so nervous.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I almost threw up but

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[SPEAKER_02]: because I had those guys with me, and there wasn't an option to not do it.

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[SPEAKER_02]: There was no option.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And the other thing that I think is more powerful is like, when I tell the story of starting that road trip in 2006 and getting to these big, bigger list items and make a TV show and all that, it's really sounds like a great start-up story, it's just a rocket ship.

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[SPEAKER_02]: From 2006 to the television show was three, four years.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And we had many times when I wanted to give up, right?

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[SPEAKER_02]: When we got offered a shown Canada, by the way, a lot of people don't know this, but MTV Canada, after the first tour, we went to Toronto.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We had made a trailer.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We put it on YouTube.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It got the front page of YouTube.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We met with production companies in Canada.

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[SPEAKER_02]: MTV Canada offers a show.

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[SPEAKER_02]: They wanted to own the IP.

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[SPEAKER_02]: They wanted to own Barry Lennon.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And we were like,

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[SPEAKER_02]: we just kind of want to keep doing this on our own like we don't want to we want to make a show not sell a show basically so we's politely you know declined the next summer 2007 we got and lots of sponsors on board board we got palm pilot at the time we got Levi's they helped us by the bus we must we you know we race a lot of money for sponsors too enough to get a full crew

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[SPEAKER_02]: put all this money into the dock got back home, realized how expensive post production is.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We had to spend 90% of our money.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We hadn't paid ourselves a dime.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And we had turned out to show we were broke.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I started working in a bar.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Didn't even know how to bartend in Vancouver.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, we blew it, dude.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We turned down a show.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We spent all our money in this dock that no one will ever see.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And now I'm working in a bar, I dropped out of school.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I dropped out of school.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And it was the three other guys right that in those moments when I felt so down that we're like, get back up, you know, we're going to, we're going to keep doing this.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I randomly met this girl that knew my, she, her parents were friends with my parents and I was on a random trip to Mexico and she lived in LA and she was like, oh, it's kind of cool, you know, like I can maybe introduce you to some people on a way in my flu down to LA by myself.

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[SPEAKER_02]: met some people and started just coming out to LA, learning the entertainment business, read us and need an agent, realize we needed a production company, we cut our own pilot from the footage we filmed.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So this documentary footage, we're like, oh, let's cut a pilot.

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[SPEAKER_02]: We'd crash them to the video words in Vegas, snuck in the whole thing, filmed it, we used that as a pilot, ironically we got in pretending we were filming an MTV pilot and we used that footage to cut a pilot and ended up selling the show to MTV with that footage.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But lot of sundowns, and if I was trying to do this by myself, I would have stopped after the first year, 2007, yeah, so they really

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[SPEAKER_01]: That's super important, but that's also a hidden facet and being successful in your bucket list in your goals because you have to find that support group.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So, if somebody is building out this list, they probably have people in their life.

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[SPEAKER_01]: Of course, they have their family.

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[SPEAKER_01]: They probably could have a partner, a spouse, whatever, boyfriend, girlfriend, but not always.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So if somebody does want to radically improve their life, you mentioned a few things that could,

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[SPEAKER_01]: maybe detract for them being successful at this and I want to actually walk through those people can understand fear the deadlines and the way the waiting to feel inspired those three items.

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[SPEAKER_01]: But I think the other item that could stop some different successful is lack of accountability and those partners in their life that can hold them accountable.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So I would ask you how can somebody find people that can hold them accountable to the level where you held your friends accountable

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[SPEAKER_02]: I think this is, I likely a very common question.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Maybe because I get it a lot and you know, it's like, I don't know anybody that's inspiring or how do I find these people?

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[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that that's why a lot of people move to different cities like LA or New York because it feels like there are creative, inspiring people there.

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[SPEAKER_02]: It doesn't mean that you're going to find those people, though, because there's also a lot of other types of people in these cities

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[SPEAKER_02]: Crowds so the I'll give you my experience of of what led me to this and then what I think would help So even before I called up Johnny on the phone who was the filmmaker and I was like you're inspiring I want to hang out with you.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Let's let's make something About a year before a guy that I knew from high school

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[SPEAKER_02]: He was younger than me, and he was in high school, and I was in university.

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[SPEAKER_02]: He started a clothing line.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I don't know where.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I was like blown away, but really cool clothing line.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And I was so flabbergasted.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, how did you do that?

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[SPEAKER_02]: You don't have any experience in fashion?

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[SPEAKER_02]: It's like, what do you mean?

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[SPEAKER_02]: I just took out a loan and I did it.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, wow, I was like, can I get involved?

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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, can I?

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[SPEAKER_02]: So immediately, I was drawn to this person.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I was inspired by him, and I asked if I could help.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Not thinking about anything other than I was drawn to this dude because he was doing this thing and so I asked him if I can help and he said yes I need press maybe you can get me some press you know and there was this at these are the days of like cool hunting blogs You know where people would just post stuff they thought was cool and like

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[SPEAKER_02]: They would just get, it was a great, great gig of all time, you just get sent all this cool stuff and if you really liked it, you'd post a photo of it.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Right?

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[SPEAKER_02]: So there's this guy Josh Speer who had a website, Josh Speer.com and he was, I saw him on the front page of the Toronto Sun style.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Or Toronto Star, it was like the style section or cool, it was the lifestyle and it was like, it just isn't cool, it's cool.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So this is,

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[SPEAKER_02]: early 2000s and I was like I bet you he would like this my friends clothing line anyways got in contact with him just send him an email he got back to me through his website I was like wow I got in contact with this guy we send him my friends clothing he did a post about it I was like holy crap like that was easier than I thought I was like if my friend made a clothing line I wonder what I could do and I was like

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[SPEAKER_02]: I want to make a movie.

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[SPEAKER_01]: So you found a way to get into his life through providing tons of value through associating with him through, you build a relationship by being listened and then you showed up too, which is another important thing too.

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[SPEAKER_01]: When he asks for help or whatever it is, you showed up.

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[SPEAKER_01]: exactly.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And then, you know, he was friends with Johnny.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So I started hanging out with his friends.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So, you know, like my people tend to hang out with each other.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So my advice is find one person that that you think is doing something cool or that is inspiring you, you know, in some way, shape or form.

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[SPEAKER_02]: If you know them a little bit, just try and get to know them a little more and see if you can get to know their friends because likely they run in a circle of like minded people and you sort of try and go down that rabbit hole to to open up your circle to these types of people and you're following your energy.

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[SPEAKER_02]: So you're not following, it's not necessarily tactical where you're like, this person's successful.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I need to hang out with this person.

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[SPEAKER_02]: They're making a lot of money or doing this.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what are the people that make you feel more alive?

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[SPEAKER_02]: Who are the people that give you energy?

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[SPEAKER_02]: And inspire you, because by surrounding yourself with inspiring people,

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[SPEAKER_02]: by osmosis subconscious you feel that you can do good great things because you see your friends doing these things and you realize well if they did it what I go under what I could do

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[SPEAKER_02]: The flip side of that is if you see people you don't know do incredible things.

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[SPEAKER_02]: I think your initial reaction is, oh, they're smarter than me.

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[SPEAKER_02]: They're better than me.

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[SPEAKER_02]: That's why they're doing those things.

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[SPEAKER_02]: But when you know them, you're like, I hang on this for so long time.

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[SPEAKER_02]: They're not that smart.

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[SPEAKER_02]: Right.

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[SPEAKER_02]: They're not that great.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I can probably do this stuff.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And so you're the high tide right rise of the boat.

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[SPEAKER_02]: You believe that you can do great things just because you know these people.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And so.

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[SPEAKER_02]: your level of thinking subconsciously rises.

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[SPEAKER_02]: And that's the power of of of surrounding yourself with inspiring people.

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[SPEAKER_00]: Thanks for tuning in.

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[SPEAKER_00]: If you found this valuable, don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss an episode.

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[SPEAKER_00]: And if you want to dive deeper into this conversation, check out the links in the description to watch the full episode.

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[SPEAKER_00]: See you in the next one.